Kids

My children are consistent in making me crack up. Regarding their recent exploits:

Galoot Jr. - During our recent trip to the Kentucky Colonel's homestead:

• Climbed into Colonel's car. When I lifted him out of it, an unpleasant smell wafted past my nostrils. I set the boy down in the driveway (in front of Mick, Mrs. Mick and a few other party guests) and asked if he had pooped his pants. After GJr. said he hadn't, I pulled back the waist band of his shorts and stuck my face down there to take a look. Without hesitation, the boy blasted an air biscuit, inches from my mug. While the small crowd laughed, GJr. walked a few steps, stretched his arms out and continued on his way.
• Peed off of the back porch into the grass. A perfect, golden arc into the lush bluegrass. He then pulled his shorts up, clapped his hands together and rubbed them. A new day had dawned.

PGirl Jr.

• During the trip to Kentucky, she flirted throughout the afternoon with a 12 year old boy who was a cousin's guest. During a game of head to head Halo, she sat next to her object of affection, hands on her knees, giggling at everything he said and did.
• This morning, as we pulled out of the driveway, we noticed three rabbits on the lawn, eating their breakfast. PGJr. said that rabbits are good because they don't bite people. I told her that, any wild animal had the potential to bite if they were scared. PGJr. remarked, "If a rabbit bites someone, they become Rabbit Man.". "Like Spiderman?", I asked. She replied, "Yes."