When PGirl and I lived in Florida, our friends were spread out around Broward and Palm Beach County. Occassionally someone would move and I'd have to write down new directions to their house or apartment. I wasn't into Mapquest, so I'd usually jot down my notes onto a sheet of paper or a notepad. Many things I needed to remember made it onto small pieces of paper.
One day, I found a post-it note with two names written on it:
Lefton Crest
Ron Highridge
For the life of me, I did not recognize who these people were. I racked my brain and could not recall their faces. When P-Girl came home, I asked if she knew who they were. She looked at me like I was crazy and asked me why I wanted to know. I showed her the piece of paper.
She frowned, shook her add and said, "These are driving directions to Susan's house." In my haste I had scribbled the directions down without proper spacing.
Lefton Crest = Left on Crest
Ron Highridge = R on Highridge or Right on Highridge.
I felt like a total ass.
A few months later I found a rough draft of our wedding invitation list that PGirl had written. One name was unfamiliar to me.
Clive Nickel
Sounded British to me. Again, I was misreading the note. PGirl had a German friend named Uwe Nickel. For some reason, Uwe looked like Clive to me.
I've since put the names in a notebook to use as characters some day.
And while I'm at it, I've heard of many variations of figuring out your pornstar and drag queen names. My favorite is:
Middle Name + Name of first street you lived on = Porn Name.
If this is the case then my porn name is Anthony Bonaparte.
Bonaparte was the street I lived on in Long Island. If I used the street I grew up on, my name would be Anthony Arbor.
I like them both.
Saturday, September 30, 2006
Thursday, September 28, 2006
Body Rock
Thirteen Things Adorning My Body...In Real Time!
1. Gap denim blue jeans. One of the belt loops is not attached on one end.
2. A very old Gap black leather belt. Paint stains and tarnished belt buckle.
3. Pair of black and tan Vans.
4. Black, button down oxford. Purchased at Value City.
5. Silvery Fossil watch. Courtesy of PGirl!
6. The words "Read Grant" in black, Sharpie marker ink on my left index finger. A reminder.
7. Gold and platinum wedding band.
8. Silver claddagh ring. Right ring finger.
8. Honey colored, plastic eyeglasses.
9. Black socks. K-mart.
10. Flannel boxer shorts.
11. Gunmetal gray hanes t-shirt.
12. Poland Spring water bottle in right hand.
13. A grin on my face!
1. Gap denim blue jeans. One of the belt loops is not attached on one end.
2. A very old Gap black leather belt. Paint stains and tarnished belt buckle.
3. Pair of black and tan Vans.
4. Black, button down oxford. Purchased at Value City.
5. Silvery Fossil watch. Courtesy of PGirl!
6. The words "Read Grant" in black, Sharpie marker ink on my left index finger. A reminder.
7. Gold and platinum wedding band.
8. Silver claddagh ring. Right ring finger.
8. Honey colored, plastic eyeglasses.
9. Black socks. K-mart.
10. Flannel boxer shorts.
11. Gunmetal gray hanes t-shirt.
12. Poland Spring water bottle in right hand.
13. A grin on my face!
Monday, September 25, 2006
Rattled By The Rush
Pavement was a band that I did not get to see live before they disbanded. They pretty much rank in my revolving top three artists with Uncle Tupelo and The Minutemen. Though they've not been together for 7 years, their cool-ass record label, Matador, has been reissuing their discs. Every two years or so, the world gets to revisit the noodling guitars, absurd lyrics and shout-outs that defined the band. And the new sets are oh-so-cool! So far, "Slanted and Enchanted" and "Crooked Rain, Crooked Rain" have been reissued in deluxe, 2-disc editions containing upwards of 50 tracks.
Now, at long last, their greatest (in my humble opinion) album, "Wowee Zowee" gets the deluxe treatment! I urge you to give them a try. I can't guarantee that you'll love them as I do, but even P-Girl has learned to sing along to "Range Life" from Crooked Rain.
Favorite Song? "Father To A Sister Of A Thought"
Favorite Lyric?
Getting off the candelabra
We call her barbara
Breeding like larva
She rabble rousing
Dental surf combat
Get out those hard-hats
And sing us some skat
Blade gushers gush
Chained and perfumed
I don't need a minister to call me a groom
from "Rattled By The Rush"
November 7 it arrives!
Warning! The comments posted contain mad-suggestive lyrics. Continue at your own risk!
Thursday, September 21, 2006
The Wedding of Jimmy McJamestown and Marsha
1. Jimmy married Marsha on September 24, 2005 in Albuquerque, New Mexico.
2. Due to financial constraints, PGirl did not attend (and she was sorely missed).
3. I discovered a margarita made from Blood Oranges. Very tasty!
4. I attached several cans to the back of the newlywed’s rental car with dental floss and shoe laces. All items were found by, or purchased from various hotel staff where everyone was staying.
5. The priest was very old and had a memory lapse on the day of the wedding. He never showed.
6. Jimmy’s future brothers-in-law and myself sped about town in a desperate search for a replacement priest – tuxes and all!
7. We finally found a deacon who agreed to perform the service.
8. The tuxes were very classy.
9. Mrs. McJamestown had a dispute with the hotel regarding the open bar that was quickly resolved.
10. Jimmy and Marsha danced to Wilco’s “Far, Far Away”. Beautiful song and beautiful couple.
11. Among the well wishers were the founder of Harvey Finklestein’s Sock Puppet Theatre. Jimmy was a cast member of that company’s production of “Showgirls”. Featuring puppets. I kid you not.
12. Journey’s “Separate Ways” was the last song played at the reception before everyone was shooed back to their rooms.
13. Jimmy took Marsha for a hot-air balloon ride the morning after to begin the honeymoon.
2. Due to financial constraints, PGirl did not attend (and she was sorely missed).
3. I discovered a margarita made from Blood Oranges. Very tasty!
4. I attached several cans to the back of the newlywed’s rental car with dental floss and shoe laces. All items were found by, or purchased from various hotel staff where everyone was staying.
5. The priest was very old and had a memory lapse on the day of the wedding. He never showed.
6. Jimmy’s future brothers-in-law and myself sped about town in a desperate search for a replacement priest – tuxes and all!
7. We finally found a deacon who agreed to perform the service.
8. The tuxes were very classy.
9. Mrs. McJamestown had a dispute with the hotel regarding the open bar that was quickly resolved.
10. Jimmy and Marsha danced to Wilco’s “Far, Far Away”. Beautiful song and beautiful couple.
11. Among the well wishers were the founder of Harvey Finklestein’s Sock Puppet Theatre. Jimmy was a cast member of that company’s production of “Showgirls”. Featuring puppets. I kid you not.
12. Journey’s “Separate Ways” was the last song played at the reception before everyone was shooed back to their rooms.
13. Jimmy took Marsha for a hot-air balloon ride the morning after to begin the honeymoon.
Friday, September 15, 2006
Not Getting Hassled, Not Getting Hustled
I'm it.
Boone just tagged me to come up with a story about our days in grad school. Head over to his post first and read up on a couple of our L.A. friends.
Now that you're back, I'll hash out a real quickie here. Boone, Roundtree and Beammeup were a pretty tight bunch. I was living about twenty minutes from where they lived when most of the pranking went down and they were still in school together, so I wasn't around for most of it. Roundtree would tell me stories some times, and I was pretty jealous of the fun they were having. Whenever I would hang out with those guys, I was kind of intimidated by their chumminess. I could never tell if what they were saying was sincere or not. And Boone is such a teddy bear, that when he did cut loose with something funny, it was out of left field.
Anyway, one night, I went to Roundtree's place to hang out. Soon, Beammeup had arrived, and the three of us decided to go into Rountree's room (he had roommates, some whacky-weed was present, you get the picture). We cracked on each other for awhile and played new music for each other. After a while, we kind of stopped talking and just listened to the music. The silence was making me paranoid and every time one of the guys looked at me, I thought they were trying to mess with me. They assured me they weren't.
This set us to giggling and trying to psyche each other out. Out of the blue, Beammeup looks over at a guitar leaning on a wall, he then asks Roundtree a question:
Boone just tagged me to come up with a story about our days in grad school. Head over to his post first and read up on a couple of our L.A. friends.
Now that you're back, I'll hash out a real quickie here. Boone, Roundtree and Beammeup were a pretty tight bunch. I was living about twenty minutes from where they lived when most of the pranking went down and they were still in school together, so I wasn't around for most of it. Roundtree would tell me stories some times, and I was pretty jealous of the fun they were having. Whenever I would hang out with those guys, I was kind of intimidated by their chumminess. I could never tell if what they were saying was sincere or not. And Boone is such a teddy bear, that when he did cut loose with something funny, it was out of left field.
Anyway, one night, I went to Roundtree's place to hang out. Soon, Beammeup had arrived, and the three of us decided to go into Rountree's room (he had roommates, some whacky-weed was present, you get the picture). We cracked on each other for awhile and played new music for each other. After a while, we kind of stopped talking and just listened to the music. The silence was making me paranoid and every time one of the guys looked at me, I thought they were trying to mess with me. They assured me they weren't.
This set us to giggling and trying to psyche each other out. Out of the blue, Beammeup looks over at a guitar leaning on a wall, he then asks Roundtree a question:
Beammeup: Is that your guitar?Now, as far as Beammeup and I knew, Roundtree did not play guitar. We both thought he was bluffing. So Roundtree picks it up, places his fingers on the frets, and starts to play. It wasn't great playing, but there was music coming out. Beammeup and I just look at each other, marvelling at this new found talent. No sooner had our jaws dropped, when Roundtrees playing begins to fall apart and he collapses in a fit of laughter. He couldn't really play. Miraculously he managed to strum something out that resembled a tune. Roundtree had won. We all lost it.
Roundtree: Yup.
Beammeup: Why don't you play us something.
Roundtree: Okay.
Thursday, September 14, 2006
It's Raining Men
I've checked out just a few profiles of the blog-buds of PGirls. They mostly seem to be women and have graciously commented on my blog. I don't return the favor as much as I hope to, but I do read often! I haven't noticed too many guys commenting.
That might change. In the span of 12 hours, Brother Tim, GalootSr. (from now on known as "Kentucky Colonel") and Daniel Boone (a buddy from grad school and a proud team owner in the AFFL.) have all invaded blogger! I'm pleased as punch (and will probably get punched in the arm for such a "gay" response).
Sr. hasn't posted yet, but when he does I'll link him up. He's commenting on my blog as Len. Dammit Dad! You told everyone our first name!
Check them out!
That might change. In the span of 12 hours, Brother Tim, GalootSr. (from now on known as "Kentucky Colonel") and Daniel Boone (a buddy from grad school and a proud team owner in the AFFL.) have all invaded blogger! I'm pleased as punch (and will probably get punched in the arm for such a "gay" response).
Sr. hasn't posted yet, but when he does I'll link him up. He's commenting on my blog as Len. Dammit Dad! You told everyone our first name!
Check them out!
He Ain't Heavy, He's My Brother
Brother Tim has published his first blog. Here are 13 things you should know about him.
1. He's 4 and a half years younger than me.
2. His wife, Krissy, is very cool and went to the same high school as me.
3. He's a bit of a daredevil having broken limbs (including neck and fingers).
4. He played several sports over the years, including soccer, basketball and football.
5. He plays in a rugby club in the Cincinnati area.
6. He works in insurance, but has had other interesting jobs such as auto-detailer and pizzeria manager.
7. He has two alter-egos that I have witnessed - Captain Nautical (a superhero) and Lonnie Warchild (a martial arts instructor).
8. During my wedding weekend, he wrestled on the floor of a bar with one of PGirl's bridesmaids.
9. He has a penchant for urinating in public places when the need arises.
10. Galoot Jr. seems to have inherited the daredevil genes that Brother Tim owns.
11. He his 6'4" tall.
12. He is adept at video camera work and editing.
13. He is named after great-grandfathers on our mom's side of the family.
Check out his blog. The folks in the first post are his rugby kin. And yes, that man is pooping in a bucket. Mind you, he's just starting out with this...
1. He's 4 and a half years younger than me.
2. His wife, Krissy, is very cool and went to the same high school as me.
3. He's a bit of a daredevil having broken limbs (including neck and fingers).
4. He played several sports over the years, including soccer, basketball and football.
5. He plays in a rugby club in the Cincinnati area.
6. He works in insurance, but has had other interesting jobs such as auto-detailer and pizzeria manager.
7. He has two alter-egos that I have witnessed - Captain Nautical (a superhero) and Lonnie Warchild (a martial arts instructor).
8. During my wedding weekend, he wrestled on the floor of a bar with one of PGirl's bridesmaids.
9. He has a penchant for urinating in public places when the need arises.
10. Galoot Jr. seems to have inherited the daredevil genes that Brother Tim owns.
11. He his 6'4" tall.
12. He is adept at video camera work and editing.
13. He is named after great-grandfathers on our mom's side of the family.
Check out his blog. The folks in the first post are his rugby kin. And yes, that man is pooping in a bucket. Mind you, he's just starting out with this...
Wednesday, September 13, 2006
Islands In The Stream
I have longed for a job where I can spend part of my day at a desk, working on my computer and listening to radio. My job at the arts council allows for this and I quite enjoy having music or talk radio play underneat my work.
The Dan Patrick Show on ESPN radio is pretty entertaining and informative. From 2pm until 3pm, Keith Olbermann joins him in the studio or by phone. By 3pm, I usually am listening to WGR550, sports radio from Buffalo. A lot of good Bills talk occurs on this station. Alternately, I listen to Fresh Air or World Cafe during this time.
I listen to streaming radio throughout the day as well. I-Tunes has many fine streams for just about every musical taste. WOXY.com is still my favorite source for alt-rock, old and new. Sadly, they'll be shutting down on Friday due to lack of funding. I am saddened by this, but another door has opened...
Walt, who you may recall from my recent Maniacs blog, told me to check out Pandora.com. Well, I a-looked-a and I a-liked-a! My god this thing is amazing. You sign up for free (all you incur are a spate of pop-ups in the browser), plug in the name of an artist you enjoy and one of that artist's songs begins to play. The entire song is played. What follows is a string of songs by similar artists whose music is linked together by many shared elements. If you plug in "The Specials", Pandora will cull together a list of songs that have "electric rock instrumentation
punk influences, reggae influences, a subtle use of paired vocal harmony, mild rhythmic syncopation, acoustic rhythm piano, repetitive melodic phrasing
demanding instrumental part writing, mixed acoustic and electric instrumentation
paired vocal harmony, minor key tonality and prominent organ".
You can create up to 100 music streams, each named after the first artist you choose. If you don't like a song, you can give it a thumbs down or skip ahead up to 6 times an hour. Otherwise, just sit back and enjoy the tunes!. And it's free!
If you want to try it out, check out the sidebar in my blog.
The Dan Patrick Show on ESPN radio is pretty entertaining and informative. From 2pm until 3pm, Keith Olbermann joins him in the studio or by phone. By 3pm, I usually am listening to WGR550, sports radio from Buffalo. A lot of good Bills talk occurs on this station. Alternately, I listen to Fresh Air or World Cafe during this time.
I listen to streaming radio throughout the day as well. I-Tunes has many fine streams for just about every musical taste. WOXY.com is still my favorite source for alt-rock, old and new. Sadly, they'll be shutting down on Friday due to lack of funding. I am saddened by this, but another door has opened...
Walt, who you may recall from my recent Maniacs blog, told me to check out Pandora.com. Well, I a-looked-a and I a-liked-a! My god this thing is amazing. You sign up for free (all you incur are a spate of pop-ups in the browser), plug in the name of an artist you enjoy and one of that artist's songs begins to play. The entire song is played. What follows is a string of songs by similar artists whose music is linked together by many shared elements. If you plug in "The Specials", Pandora will cull together a list of songs that have "electric rock instrumentation
punk influences, reggae influences, a subtle use of paired vocal harmony, mild rhythmic syncopation, acoustic rhythm piano, repetitive melodic phrasing
demanding instrumental part writing, mixed acoustic and electric instrumentation
paired vocal harmony, minor key tonality and prominent organ".
You can create up to 100 music streams, each named after the first artist you choose. If you don't like a song, you can give it a thumbs down or skip ahead up to 6 times an hour. Otherwise, just sit back and enjoy the tunes!. And it's free!
If you want to try it out, check out the sidebar in my blog.
Saturday, September 09, 2006
Drink For Two
First of all, Bucky Phillips surrendered yesterday after a 16 hour cat and mouse game that began at 2am on Friday. Over a hundred law enforcement folks spread out around the town of Akeley, PA. Bucky had been spotted near a golf course in that area and was soon spotted in the woods. My mom, who lives up the hill from Akeley spent most of the day in her house with a shotgun and her two dogs, listening for intruders. No one was allowed up or down the road on which she lives. Eventually, the cops figured Bucky was in a corn field and at 8p, the fugitive walked out and gave up.
In other news, the Maniacs show was nearly a sell out, which is a good thing for this little city. PGirl and I hit the bar at Forte before hand to hang out with the band and a hundred other folks, including some politicians, artists, old schoolmates and musicians. Bud, Bud-Light and Mich-Light and some wine was free to guests, but we started off with a local beer for PGirl and a martini for me. We also had some crabcakes. Good stuff. We eventually started on the free stuff. That is when the fun began.
The show started at 7pm, with opening acts, but the Maniacs weren't supposed to go on until 9:30. So we hung out at and around the bar. I spent the first part of the evening, talking with an artist who I'm working with to do a "flash" exhibition downtown. Then I reconnected with some folks I hadn't seen in a while. PGirl and I wound up talking a lot to a fellow named Walt, from MTV/Viacom. He's an old friend of the band and has a place over in Ashville. He was pretty candid, talking at length about some shake up over at MTV (Tom Freston was fired) and the future of the civic center.
We finally made it up to the balcony about two songs into the Maniacs set. What can I say? They were really good. Oskar Saville has a powerful voice and can get the crowd moving. Dennis gets into the songs, making a lot of gestures and faces. He's into the music. My next door office neighbor, Jeff, is the replacement guitarist and very true to the band's style of music. Original guitarist, Rob Buck died six years ago. The crowd was pretty into it.
And PGirl, well, I knew she loved the Maniacs and was familiar with all of their songs, but I had no idea what this concert meant to her. She was moving the whole time. Whooping and hollering. She even got acknowlegement from the band when Oskar introduced on of her own songs.
Okay, she did drink more than I did last night, but I don't think she was ripped. I believe her "good times" were courtesy of a mix of drink and sheer joy! On the way home, she was talking like Anthony Micheal Hall in "Weird Science" (Well, my nuts are halfway up my ass, but other than that, I'm perfect!") She is sleeping in a bit right now, but is in a good mood. I wish I could remember some of the jive she was talking last night. It was pretty damn funny!
In other news, the Maniacs show was nearly a sell out, which is a good thing for this little city. PGirl and I hit the bar at Forte before hand to hang out with the band and a hundred other folks, including some politicians, artists, old schoolmates and musicians. Bud, Bud-Light and Mich-Light and some wine was free to guests, but we started off with a local beer for PGirl and a martini for me. We also had some crabcakes. Good stuff. We eventually started on the free stuff. That is when the fun began.
The show started at 7pm, with opening acts, but the Maniacs weren't supposed to go on until 9:30. So we hung out at and around the bar. I spent the first part of the evening, talking with an artist who I'm working with to do a "flash" exhibition downtown. Then I reconnected with some folks I hadn't seen in a while. PGirl and I wound up talking a lot to a fellow named Walt, from MTV/Viacom. He's an old friend of the band and has a place over in Ashville. He was pretty candid, talking at length about some shake up over at MTV (Tom Freston was fired) and the future of the civic center.
We finally made it up to the balcony about two songs into the Maniacs set. What can I say? They were really good. Oskar Saville has a powerful voice and can get the crowd moving. Dennis gets into the songs, making a lot of gestures and faces. He's into the music. My next door office neighbor, Jeff, is the replacement guitarist and very true to the band's style of music. Original guitarist, Rob Buck died six years ago. The crowd was pretty into it.
And PGirl, well, I knew she loved the Maniacs and was familiar with all of their songs, but I had no idea what this concert meant to her. She was moving the whole time. Whooping and hollering. She even got acknowlegement from the band when Oskar introduced on of her own songs.
Okay, she did drink more than I did last night, but I don't think she was ripped. I believe her "good times" were courtesy of a mix of drink and sheer joy! On the way home, she was talking like Anthony Micheal Hall in "Weird Science" (Well, my nuts are halfway up my ass, but other than that, I'm perfect!") She is sleeping in a bit right now, but is in a good mood. I wish I could remember some of the jive she was talking last night. It was pretty damn funny!
Friday, September 08, 2006
This Be The Day
Dennis Drew - Maniac!
The building is all abuzz today. Tonight, the 10,000 Maniacs will be performing a 25th anniversary concert in our civic center. John Sebastian of "The Lovin' Spoonful" is performing with them. For those of you not in the know, original singer Natalie Merchant left the band several years ago. The most recent vocalist, Oskar Saville of "Rubygrass" is performing with the group tonight. She has a powerful voice and a playful stage presence. Should be a good show! PGirl and I will be in the balcony and at a pre-show party downstairs at Forte!
Concurrently, our county has been dealing with an escaped fugitive, Ralph "Bucky" Phillips. This dude was serving 90 days on a parole violation when he used a can opener to break out of the jail kitchen he was working in. He had less than a month to go, but was unaware of this.
Bucky Phillips - Maniac?
Since escaping he has:
- allegedly shot a cop in the stomach
- robbed a gun store
- robbed several hunting cabins
- allegedly ambushed two cops with a hunting rifle (one is in critical condition, the other has died from his injury)
- taken refuge with family and friends throughout our region of New York and Pennsylvania
It is very easy to travel throughout the county and into PA without hitting main roads. The state troopers have over 100 men and women on each shift, searching, setting up roadblocks, arresting Bucky's boarders, etc. But the dude stays free. Sad thing is, several folks around here hate the cops and are keeping Bucky on the lam.
Bucky made the FBI's top ten yesterday.
Dateline NBC is supposed to be around today to cover the whole mess and one of our county executives is trying to get them to tape some of the Maniacs show and some of our other culture. All to make sure Chautauqua County doesn't come off looking like some hayseed, backwoods area.
We'll see...
Thursday, September 07, 2006
All Shook Up
A Word Jumble, if you will...
13 Random Words and Phrases I that I can see from my office desk. All exist within the confines of my room.
1. Panegyri
2. Trachtenburg Family Sideshow Players
3. The Copywrighter's Handbook
4. The Complete Atlantic Recordings
5. Taking Stock
6. The Zombie Survival Guide
7. Roundup
8. Get Fuzzy
9. Ask me to tell you the story of The Kissing Hand.
10. Daler Mehndi
11. Food Is Good
12. If he gets the community all riled up, we could be in trouble!
13. Speak for yourself.
13 Random Words and Phrases I that I can see from my office desk. All exist within the confines of my room.
1. Panegyri
2. Trachtenburg Family Sideshow Players
3. The Copywrighter's Handbook
4. The Complete Atlantic Recordings
5. Taking Stock
6. The Zombie Survival Guide
7. Roundup
8. Get Fuzzy
9. Ask me to tell you the story of The Kissing Hand.
10. Daler Mehndi
11. Food Is Good
12. If he gets the community all riled up, we could be in trouble!
13. Speak for yourself.
Thursday, August 31, 2006
All That Jazz
You asked for it - r – you got it! From Pgirl and Galoots nups.
I’ll use nicknames to protect the innocent…
Left to right:
Stepbrudder Allen, Mr. Social, Duder, Brother Tim, Richard Roundtree, The Galoot (kneeling), Jimmy McJamestown, Scarface, Favor8 (with Bubba teeth) and Chibbs.
I’ll use nicknames to protect the innocent…
Left to right:
Stepbrudder Allen, Mr. Social, Duder, Brother Tim, Richard Roundtree, The Galoot (kneeling), Jimmy McJamestown, Scarface, Favor8 (with Bubba teeth) and Chibbs.
Monday, August 28, 2006
The Metro
About a week after P-Girl and I were married, I was back in school, teaching theatre to a kindergarten class. One of the girls asked me a question, “Why do you have that ring on your finger?”. I told her I had gotten married over the summer break. She looked at me with a look of disbelief on her face, replying, “I’ve never known a man from the theater to be married.”
Many folks believe that most men in the theater are gay. I happen to be straight. In fact, most of the guys I went to undergrad and graduate school with are straight. We were the smart ones, because theater departments are crawling with the ladies and we were usually outnumbered!
I wasn’t helping my case as a hetero by my post-dinner actions tonight. About halfway through a walk around the block with the family dog, I realized:
1. I was wearing a t-shirt with the comedy/tragedy masks on it.
2. I was carrying my dog’s poop in a plastic grocery bag that swung to and fro in my free hand.
3. My dog is a standard poodle that used to look like an Airedale, but had recently been groomed and now looks more poodle-like.
We made it home despite a neighbor’s St. Bernard’s barking attempts to out us from a closet which doesn’t exist. I'm not gay.
P.S. Only two more nights until the next episode of “Project Runway”!
xxoo
Many folks believe that most men in the theater are gay. I happen to be straight. In fact, most of the guys I went to undergrad and graduate school with are straight. We were the smart ones, because theater departments are crawling with the ladies and we were usually outnumbered!
I wasn’t helping my case as a hetero by my post-dinner actions tonight. About halfway through a walk around the block with the family dog, I realized:
1. I was wearing a t-shirt with the comedy/tragedy masks on it.
2. I was carrying my dog’s poop in a plastic grocery bag that swung to and fro in my free hand.
3. My dog is a standard poodle that used to look like an Airedale, but had recently been groomed and now looks more poodle-like.
We made it home despite a neighbor’s St. Bernard’s barking attempts to out us from a closet which doesn’t exist. I'm not gay.
P.S. Only two more nights until the next episode of “Project Runway”!
xxoo
Sunday, August 27, 2006
Double Fantasy
I was a late-bloomer when it came to football-fanhood. Sure, I watched the Bengals lose two SuperBowls to the Niners, but I was hardly an armchair quarterback. I was in it for the community aspect.
Usually, televised Bengals games were the center of a Sunday ritual at my Dad's house which involved yelling at the television and eating my stepmom's chili. I didn't understand the game, but I certainly could recognize Ken Anderson, Boomer Esiason, Chris Collinsworth, Anthony Munoz and Max Montoya. I can still do the "Icky Shuffle"!
In college, while most of my fraternity brothers spent the weekend watching college an pro football, I would hang out with my girlfriend, listen to tunes or head into a larger college town to watch independent movies. My sole foray into watching the pigskin was on SuperBowl Sunday when my fraternity would hold a rush. It was fun being a casual fan. Watching other guys sweat it out over bets they had made or pride for their team made me feel comfortable. I didn't feel any pressure at all.
I continued to all but ignore football throughout most of the nineties. Cousin Eddie would have family SuperBowl parties that were more a family reunion than a sporting event. In grad school theatre, there were a handful of sports fans. And most of the directors scheduled rehearsals on SuperBowl Sunday. I'd be lucky to catch half of the event. And, to be honest, I enjoyed the commercials more than the game by that point.
My view on football, and the N.F.L. began to change in 1998. P-Girl and I had been dating for several months and were in Jamestown for Mr. Social's wedding. This was the weekend before Halloween, which meant very cool weather in Western New York. On the day after the wedding, we headed across the lake on The Silver Fox (P-girl's dad)'s boat. It was a cold, dismal afternoon, and we docked in Bemus Point. Soon we were hunkered down at the Surf Club's small bar (tucked away in a small room behind the large bar). The place was empty, and the three of us spent the afternoon drinking bloody mary's, eating sandwiches and watching the Bills play. For the first time in my life, I really watched the game. It started to make sense. The Silver Fox was a high school football coach and didn't treat me like an idiot when I asked questions.
My education continued at home with P-Girl. She also knew the game and could answer most of my questions. Since we were living in South Florida, I watched what was available - Dolphins games. I didn't watch every one, but enough to remain interested. In the fall of 1999, I began to watch more. Dan Marino was taken out because of injury and his backup had to take over for five games. Backup Damon Huard went 4-1 and had to fight for every one. It was gripping and enjoyable. I was dissapointed when Marino was given the top spot back. His last game against Jacksonville was atrocius.
I'd seen enough to keep me going. I was hooked. I started watching some college bowl games (including some Michael Vick action at Virginia Tech) and some of the Florida college matchups as well. I even caught a few Bills games along the way.
When we moved to western New York in 2001, I continued to follow the Dolphins and caught a few Bills games. Unfortunately, an arrogant quarterback named Rob Johnson had the top spot for Buffalo. Doug Flutie came in as back up a couple of times, but mostly, that season was a wash.
Drew Bledsoe came to Buffalo in 2002 and delivered some of the goods, but not enough to keep the Bills from drafting JP Losman in 2004. It's been rough to watch at times, but I love our division and watching every Sunday.
And now I am going into my second season as part of a fantasy football league. Brother Tim created last year's AFFL (Awesome F***ing Football League), which saw his Drunk Micks and my Big Galoots end up #1 and #2 respectively. We only had six teams, and three friends along with us (the last team was a ghost team), but I had a lot of fun trading players and watching stats play out over each weekend. I still managed to enjoy watching the Bills, but now when they didn't do so well, I would have another reason (excuse?) to watch another game or two.
This season, the AFFL has been resurrected. Along with the newly named Drunkin' Micks and the Nancy Boys (formerly the Big Galoots), we have the Mighty Mews, Tom Landry's Hat, Scarface and the Vanderbilt Vandals. We're looking for at least two more teams, but can accomodate another 4. So, if any of you or your hubbies would like to join the league, drop me a line! So far we have the states of New York, Florida, Texas, Ohio, Kentucky and Pennsylvania represented.
I might also join the Wine Cellar's league which is run by CBS Sports. If any of you would like to name my new team, post it in the comments section. The winner will get a DVD copy of Paul Dinello's "Beyond The Door".
Usually, televised Bengals games were the center of a Sunday ritual at my Dad's house which involved yelling at the television and eating my stepmom's chili. I didn't understand the game, but I certainly could recognize Ken Anderson, Boomer Esiason, Chris Collinsworth, Anthony Munoz and Max Montoya. I can still do the "Icky Shuffle"!
In college, while most of my fraternity brothers spent the weekend watching college an pro football, I would hang out with my girlfriend, listen to tunes or head into a larger college town to watch independent movies. My sole foray into watching the pigskin was on SuperBowl Sunday when my fraternity would hold a rush. It was fun being a casual fan. Watching other guys sweat it out over bets they had made or pride for their team made me feel comfortable. I didn't feel any pressure at all.
I continued to all but ignore football throughout most of the nineties. Cousin Eddie would have family SuperBowl parties that were more a family reunion than a sporting event. In grad school theatre, there were a handful of sports fans. And most of the directors scheduled rehearsals on SuperBowl Sunday. I'd be lucky to catch half of the event. And, to be honest, I enjoyed the commercials more than the game by that point.
My view on football, and the N.F.L. began to change in 1998. P-Girl and I had been dating for several months and were in Jamestown for Mr. Social's wedding. This was the weekend before Halloween, which meant very cool weather in Western New York. On the day after the wedding, we headed across the lake on The Silver Fox (P-girl's dad)'s boat. It was a cold, dismal afternoon, and we docked in Bemus Point. Soon we were hunkered down at the Surf Club's small bar (tucked away in a small room behind the large bar). The place was empty, and the three of us spent the afternoon drinking bloody mary's, eating sandwiches and watching the Bills play. For the first time in my life, I really watched the game. It started to make sense. The Silver Fox was a high school football coach and didn't treat me like an idiot when I asked questions.
My education continued at home with P-Girl. She also knew the game and could answer most of my questions. Since we were living in South Florida, I watched what was available - Dolphins games. I didn't watch every one, but enough to remain interested. In the fall of 1999, I began to watch more. Dan Marino was taken out because of injury and his backup had to take over for five games. Backup Damon Huard went 4-1 and had to fight for every one. It was gripping and enjoyable. I was dissapointed when Marino was given the top spot back. His last game against Jacksonville was atrocius.
I'd seen enough to keep me going. I was hooked. I started watching some college bowl games (including some Michael Vick action at Virginia Tech) and some of the Florida college matchups as well. I even caught a few Bills games along the way.
When we moved to western New York in 2001, I continued to follow the Dolphins and caught a few Bills games. Unfortunately, an arrogant quarterback named Rob Johnson had the top spot for Buffalo. Doug Flutie came in as back up a couple of times, but mostly, that season was a wash.
Drew Bledsoe came to Buffalo in 2002 and delivered some of the goods, but not enough to keep the Bills from drafting JP Losman in 2004. It's been rough to watch at times, but I love our division and watching every Sunday.
And now I am going into my second season as part of a fantasy football league. Brother Tim created last year's AFFL (Awesome F***ing Football League), which saw his Drunk Micks and my Big Galoots end up #1 and #2 respectively. We only had six teams, and three friends along with us (the last team was a ghost team), but I had a lot of fun trading players and watching stats play out over each weekend. I still managed to enjoy watching the Bills, but now when they didn't do so well, I would have another reason (excuse?) to watch another game or two.
This season, the AFFL has been resurrected. Along with the newly named Drunkin' Micks and the Nancy Boys (formerly the Big Galoots), we have the Mighty Mews, Tom Landry's Hat, Scarface and the Vanderbilt Vandals. We're looking for at least two more teams, but can accomodate another 4. So, if any of you or your hubbies would like to join the league, drop me a line! So far we have the states of New York, Florida, Texas, Ohio, Kentucky and Pennsylvania represented.
I might also join the Wine Cellar's league which is run by CBS Sports. If any of you would like to name my new team, post it in the comments section. The winner will get a DVD copy of Paul Dinello's "Beyond The Door".
Friday, August 25, 2006
Beyond The Door
Yesterday afternoon found my co-worker, Grady and myself looking at the store fronts on the street below our offices. One of our tenants is moving across third street and their vacated space will be converted into a small performance space soon. We were brainstorming ways to change the facade of this particular building when Grady suggested we check out another store front.
The Palace Gallery is on the right side of our theatre lobby and used to be part of the operation. This fall, it will be remodeled to be an expansion of the box office and lobby. Grady took me to the basement to show me something. Occupying several closets were several boxes full of old newsletters, brochures, etc.
A few of the boxes held videotapes of short comic films from the 1990's. Our city is the hometown of Lucille Ball and every year there are two festivals held in her honor. A decade ago, the festival revolved more around comedy and there were screenings of short films.
I grabbed a few tapes to bring home, because I recognized some names as people from Second City. P-Girl and I sat down to watch one entitled "Beyond The Door". To our delight, it featured Paul Dinello and Stephen Colbert from "Strangers With Candy" (and, of course, "The Colbert Report"). If any of you are fans, I suggest tracking this one down and watching it.
Maybe I can get it on YouTube...
Thursday, August 24, 2006
In The Cradle
My dad reads my blog and P-girl's to keep up with Galoot family fun. I haven't posted in a while, (which he reminded me of last night), so, in honor of the big man's birthday...13 Things About The Biggest Galoot!
1. He has the exact same name as me. I'm not a junior or a "second".
2. He worked several years for the Gap and is married to my very cool stepmother, who also works for that company. Needless to say, the whole family (right down to Galoot Jr., P-Girl2 and the Wonder Twins - stepbro's kiddoes) has been decked out in classic clothing for over 30 years.
3. He is a very generous man who continues to offer advice, moolah and love as needed.
4. He is a tall man, clocking in at 6'4".
5. He comes from a large Irish/Italian family from New York.
6. He worked as a bouncer in Long Island back in the day.
7. He once concocted an alcoholic drink he dubbed "Joy Juice".
8. His speciality in the workforce was management. He's very good at working with people.
9. In more civilized times, he was in a street gang called "The Deli Boys". By "civilized", I mean they didn't kill people and they existed in the '60's.
10. Many meals in the '80's were accompanied by stories of his adventures with his younger brother, Tugboat. They were kind of like Twain's Huck and Finn, except they played lacrosse and lived on the east coast. Very funny stuff!
11. In the mid-eighties at Christmas time, Dad once brought home a video gaming system that had just been released (the company he worked for owned a toy store chain). We'd been making due with an old Atari and a Texas Instruments computer. But this one quickly took hold of us and never let go. It was an NES!
12. Much of his humor has been instilled in me. I take more risks in performance because of the examples he set.
13. His name was appropriated by a singer in the 1960's who is famous for a hit song about...math.
Happy Birthday Pop!
1. He has the exact same name as me. I'm not a junior or a "second".
2. He worked several years for the Gap and is married to my very cool stepmother, who also works for that company. Needless to say, the whole family (right down to Galoot Jr., P-Girl2 and the Wonder Twins - stepbro's kiddoes) has been decked out in classic clothing for over 30 years.
3. He is a very generous man who continues to offer advice, moolah and love as needed.
4. He is a tall man, clocking in at 6'4".
5. He comes from a large Irish/Italian family from New York.
6. He worked as a bouncer in Long Island back in the day.
7. He once concocted an alcoholic drink he dubbed "Joy Juice".
8. His speciality in the workforce was management. He's very good at working with people.
9. In more civilized times, he was in a street gang called "The Deli Boys". By "civilized", I mean they didn't kill people and they existed in the '60's.
10. Many meals in the '80's were accompanied by stories of his adventures with his younger brother, Tugboat. They were kind of like Twain's Huck and Finn, except they played lacrosse and lived on the east coast. Very funny stuff!
11. In the mid-eighties at Christmas time, Dad once brought home a video gaming system that had just been released (the company he worked for owned a toy store chain). We'd been making due with an old Atari and a Texas Instruments computer. But this one quickly took hold of us and never let go. It was an NES!
12. Much of his humor has been instilled in me. I take more risks in performance because of the examples he set.
13. His name was appropriated by a singer in the 1960's who is famous for a hit song about...math.
Happy Birthday Pop!
Thursday, August 10, 2006
Anarchy In The U.K. - Fourfecta!
Yes, I have officially made the celebrity fourfecta!
Okay, I forced this one, but it was worth it. Tonight, I accompanied six of my students to see an hour long comedy-video-music-satire with Harry Shearer and his wife, Judith Owen. It was kind of like his radio program "Le Show".
I spoke to him after the performance. He was very gracious. Small clubs are the best places to catch celebrities - postshow.
In case you don't know, Harry Shearer is probably most famous for his voice work on "The Simpsons" - playing Principal Skinner, Rev. Lovejoy, Ned Flanders, Mr. Burns and Mr. Smithers. He also played bass-player, Derek Smalls in "Spinal Tap".
My fourfecta includes Shearer, Carey Lowell, Mike McShane and James Carville.
That is all for today!
Okay, I forced this one, but it was worth it. Tonight, I accompanied six of my students to see an hour long comedy-video-music-satire with Harry Shearer and his wife, Judith Owen. It was kind of like his radio program "Le Show".
I spoke to him after the performance. He was very gracious. Small clubs are the best places to catch celebrities - postshow.
In case you don't know, Harry Shearer is probably most famous for his voice work on "The Simpsons" - playing Principal Skinner, Rev. Lovejoy, Ned Flanders, Mr. Burns and Mr. Smithers. He also played bass-player, Derek Smalls in "Spinal Tap".
My fourfecta includes Shearer, Carey Lowell, Mike McShane and James Carville.
That is all for today!
Anarchy in the U.K. - 13 Things About Edinburgh
1. The Queen’s summer palace is about a mile from our dorms. She’s here this week and a couple of my kids claimed they saw her as we drove past on our way to the theatre.
2. During the month of August, the city is bombarded by tourists hoping to catch part of the many festivals held here.
3. Sean Connery has a place somewhere in town.
4. J.K. Rowling wrote some of her Harry Potter series at a local coffee shop while working here.
5. A dormant volcano lives beside the Queen’s palace and the University. It is called Arthur’s Seat and many people climb it daily.
6. There are several Starbucks in the city.
7. Public transportation is pretty affordable and easy to use.
8. Edinburgh Castle lies in the heart of the city, atop a large hill.
9. During the month of August, a Military Tattoo is held almost nightly in front of the castle. Several hundred performers from around the globe join Scotland’s military band for a musical event for 10,000 spectators.
10. Princes Street is a long stretch of road in New Town which houses many contemporary retail stores.
11. The Royal Mile stretches from Edinburgh Castle to the Queen’s place. Parts of it are shut down for pedestrian traffic during the Fringe.
12. Performers travel the Royal Mile, handing out thousands of show flyers to passerby.
13. The temperature here is ranging between the low and high 60’s.
2. During the month of August, the city is bombarded by tourists hoping to catch part of the many festivals held here.
3. Sean Connery has a place somewhere in town.
4. J.K. Rowling wrote some of her Harry Potter series at a local coffee shop while working here.
5. A dormant volcano lives beside the Queen’s palace and the University. It is called Arthur’s Seat and many people climb it daily.
6. There are several Starbucks in the city.
7. Public transportation is pretty affordable and easy to use.
8. Edinburgh Castle lies in the heart of the city, atop a large hill.
9. During the month of August, a Military Tattoo is held almost nightly in front of the castle. Several hundred performers from around the globe join Scotland’s military band for a musical event for 10,000 spectators.
10. Princes Street is a long stretch of road in New Town which houses many contemporary retail stores.
11. The Royal Mile stretches from Edinburgh Castle to the Queen’s place. Parts of it are shut down for pedestrian traffic during the Fringe.
12. Performers travel the Royal Mile, handing out thousands of show flyers to passerby.
13. The temperature here is ranging between the low and high 60’s.
Wednesday, August 09, 2006
Anarchy In The U.K. - 2.5
Just a quick one here.
As I waited for a bus to take our students to another show, one of the staff walked by us with an elderly woman and a younger woman. The younger woman looked very much like the actress, Carey Lowell.
The kids got on the bus with the chaperones (I'm hanging back until early afternoon) and I went to a reception office on campus. I bought a new phone card and thumbed through some newspapers, waiting for the women to leave so I could ask the staff if Carey Lowell was indeed one of the women.
Sure enough, it was her. The older woman was Lowell's mother and referred to her as Carey!
Celebrity sighting #2!
P.S. Carey Lowell was married to Griffin Dunne and now is married to Richard Gere.
As I waited for a bus to take our students to another show, one of the staff walked by us with an elderly woman and a younger woman. The younger woman looked very much like the actress, Carey Lowell.
The kids got on the bus with the chaperones (I'm hanging back until early afternoon) and I went to a reception office on campus. I bought a new phone card and thumbed through some newspapers, waiting for the women to leave so I could ask the staff if Carey Lowell was indeed one of the women.
Sure enough, it was her. The older woman was Lowell's mother and referred to her as Carey!
Celebrity sighting #2!
P.S. Carey Lowell was married to Griffin Dunne and now is married to Richard Gere.
Anarchy in the U.K. - Part Two
Smash decided he would limp through the show – swollen knee and all. I was sitting at the light board, anticipating a rough opening performance. The theatre seats only 81 and there were maybe 20 people in the audience. Half of those were students from another high school performing in the festival. They go for free.
When I brought the lights up, the boys playing Forest Rangers marched on stage. Smash, unbeknownst to me, had wrapped his knee in a towel with fake blood on it. Everyone who knew of the injury just lost it! It set the tone for the rest of the evening, to be sure. He worked the injury into the show, getting many laughs. The kids fed off the manic energy and delivered a good performance.
The rest of Monday and most of Tuesday saw no drama.
Conflict, however, found us at the last night’s performance. Allow me to do a bit of exposition…
The Festival Fringe is held every August and features 10,000 or so performers doing what they do best in several venues, large and small. The larger festival contains several smaller ones, including film, art and music. The one we’re part of is the American High School Theatre Festival.
Several high schools bring musicals, comedies and dramas here to perform. Each school does the show four times. Throughout the week, each school also sees performances by 4 other schools. Each school is allotted a two hour time slot. 15 minutes to load in, 90 minutes to do the show and 15 minutes to load out.
Our musical director chose “Little Mary Sunshine” to do. I agreed. It is a spoof of operettas that was written and produced originally in the late fifties. The characters are U.S. Forest Rangers, young finishing school ladies and Indians from the Kadota tribe. Each of these characters is written with tongue firmly planted in cheek. Each is performed that way too.
When we arrived in Scotland, there was a director’s meeting. Among the attendees were 3 students and a chaperone from Arizona. They are here to perform a dance and monologue performance titled “Native Women”. They are most definitely Native American. As everyone introduced themselves to the large group (fifty or so), I thought to myself, “Wouldn’t it be uncomfortable if this group of Native Americans was scheduled to attend our show?” I also thought, “Gee, I should have sent a script for the schedulers to read.”
Sure enough, when we got to the theatre space tonight, the Native American group was sitting in the audience. The chaperone took several pictures whenever one of our kids was playing an Indian. Their students laughed a couple of times during the show, but never applauded. About halfway through the song “Me A Heap Big Injun” (yes, I’m rethinking the entire show now), the students and their chaperone got out of their seats and left the room. I wanted to crawl into a hole and curl up into a fetal position.
It only got better. They rode back to the dorms on the chartered bus with our cast. A few of our parents spoke with their chaperone. I only heard snippets of his dialogue. I think he said the kids were talented. But he also mentioned the word “insensitive”. Hindsight is twenty-twenty isn’t it? I must be blind…
When I brought the lights up, the boys playing Forest Rangers marched on stage. Smash, unbeknownst to me, had wrapped his knee in a towel with fake blood on it. Everyone who knew of the injury just lost it! It set the tone for the rest of the evening, to be sure. He worked the injury into the show, getting many laughs. The kids fed off the manic energy and delivered a good performance.
The rest of Monday and most of Tuesday saw no drama.
Conflict, however, found us at the last night’s performance. Allow me to do a bit of exposition…
The Festival Fringe is held every August and features 10,000 or so performers doing what they do best in several venues, large and small. The larger festival contains several smaller ones, including film, art and music. The one we’re part of is the American High School Theatre Festival.
Several high schools bring musicals, comedies and dramas here to perform. Each school does the show four times. Throughout the week, each school also sees performances by 4 other schools. Each school is allotted a two hour time slot. 15 minutes to load in, 90 minutes to do the show and 15 minutes to load out.
Our musical director chose “Little Mary Sunshine” to do. I agreed. It is a spoof of operettas that was written and produced originally in the late fifties. The characters are U.S. Forest Rangers, young finishing school ladies and Indians from the Kadota tribe. Each of these characters is written with tongue firmly planted in cheek. Each is performed that way too.
When we arrived in Scotland, there was a director’s meeting. Among the attendees were 3 students and a chaperone from Arizona. They are here to perform a dance and monologue performance titled “Native Women”. They are most definitely Native American. As everyone introduced themselves to the large group (fifty or so), I thought to myself, “Wouldn’t it be uncomfortable if this group of Native Americans was scheduled to attend our show?” I also thought, “Gee, I should have sent a script for the schedulers to read.”
Sure enough, when we got to the theatre space tonight, the Native American group was sitting in the audience. The chaperone took several pictures whenever one of our kids was playing an Indian. Their students laughed a couple of times during the show, but never applauded. About halfway through the song “Me A Heap Big Injun” (yes, I’m rethinking the entire show now), the students and their chaperone got out of their seats and left the room. I wanted to crawl into a hole and curl up into a fetal position.
It only got better. They rode back to the dorms on the chartered bus with our cast. A few of our parents spoke with their chaperone. I only heard snippets of his dialogue. I think he said the kids were talented. But he also mentioned the word “insensitive”. Hindsight is twenty-twenty isn’t it? I must be blind…
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