As I sat on the porcelain throne before my shower yesterday, I flipped through the pages of "Bust" magazine. For the uninitiated, "Bust" is the kind of periodical that cool alternachicks from the early nineties would end up making in their thirties. Princess Diaree bought a gift subscription for Preppygirl and it appears in our mailbox every so often. I think it is bimonthly, because I forget we get it until it arrives. Same goes for my subscription to "No Depression". Anyway, this new issue had a movie review for "Strangers With Candy", which is apparently being released this June. I urge you all to catch a rerun of the original series if it airs again on Comedy Central. At least give it a try. The show concerns a middle-aged runaway who returns to her home town and enrolls in high school. Jerri Blank hasn't matured since dropping out of school and behaves as badly as the immature bisexual, former prostitute-junkie she is. The show is sort of a spoof of afterschool specials and the wordplay is actually quite intricate. The material is definitely R-rated (Jerri's liberty bell piercing, bikini-wax and her pining for a donkey named Ramon come to mind). The cast is populated by several Second City alums and stars Amy Sedaris as Jerri. Stephen Colbert fans will enjoy his portrayal of closeted history teacher, Chuck Noblet. If the film is half as entertaining as the series, I'll walk away content. Some quotes:
Chuck Noblet: Can anyone tell me the tragic irony of the Trojan War? Tina?
Tina: Um, that horses are friendly creatures yet a hollow, wooden one was used to destroy Troy?
Chuck Noblet: Wrong and no. Anyone else? Chip?
Chip: That the mighty warrior Achilles was killed by a small cut to his ankle.
Chuck Noblet: Chip is wronger. OK, here it is. The tragic irony of the Trojan War is that though it was fought over Helen, who was young and beautiful, by the time they rescued her ten years later, she was old and ugly.
Tina: But wasn't recovering the king's wife reward enough for the Greeks?
Chuck Noblet: Tina, an ugly woman is never a reward.
Jerri Blank: Do a lot of the people die of syphilis?
Chuck Noblet: Oh, absolutely. Historically, syphilis is right up there with Germans. It wiped out the Romanovs, it decimated our fleet at Pearl Harbor, and of course, Fidel Castro impersonated Marilyn Monroe and gave President Kennedy a case of syphilis so severe that eventually it blew the back of his head off.