1. "King of Chautauqua Bloggers" implies that a man should hold this distinction. That automatically rules out In Java and Preppygirl. I don't know what gender Jamestown Lawyer is. Disqualified for not being obvious as to what you really are, attorney-person! So this leaves Makkaio and I to duke it out.
2. Makkaio is a pacifist and holds a public office around here. Even if we did fight, he would take the higher road and lay down his weapons, making me the winner by forfeit. I'd still shoot him dead with my cross-bow. Plus, he has his own domain name. Utterly pretentious.
3. Assuming Makkaio's security detail shoots me down in cold blood and probably in the back, this would leave the other three to fight over the title. Hopefully you would still pick me in death because:
- In Java would probably have to assume her husband's position in City Hall and serve out his term. She'll have little time to blog and will have to work two jobs.
- Preppygirl would mourn me for like, five minutes, before moving the kids out to England in order to try and find another father figure like Hugh Grant or Colin Firth. Her new posts would be infrequent and in the British language - hard to read.
- Even if you still want to go with Jamestown Lawyer, this person is into law. And we all know what a mess our country is in because of Gonzalez and all those firings.