Thursday, July 05, 2007

What's In A Name?


Preppy Girl works at a place whose “season” runs nine weeks straight in the summer. The place has concerts, plays, operas, symphonies, lectures and classes every day of the week and is crawling with rich people – new money and old. Due to the demands of the job, PGirl always has to work on July 4. Since both of our kids attend a summer school within her place of work and were participating in a “holiday parade”, I decided to join them and hang out for a while. A new, fenced-in dog run was recently installed there, so I took our pooch, Asa, along with me.

After a short walk from one of the entrances to the square of this community, I met up with PGirl, her assistant and a buddy of mine from The Unexpected Guests, who I’ll refer to as Milton F. Hunter. The parade of kids was absolutely adorable. They convened at the steps of one of the square’s buildings, sang some songs, marched to the amphitheater and sang some more. What happened as we waited for the parade to start was what I’d like to recount here.

As we waited on a sidewalk corner, many people stared at us. I thought maybe it was because of what we wore, that the rich folks could tell we weren’t money. PGirl had her work windbreaker on and I was slumming it in a pair of khaki cargos, track shoes and an oxford shirt. In L.A. I would’ve been mistaken for an incognito celebrity. In this place – a dogwalker.

But it wasn’t our clothes people were staring at. It was Asa. Our dog is a standard poodle who doesn’t wear his hair in any of the traditional poodle cuts. We usually get him short, cuts all around so he looks sort of like an Airedale. This often prompts people to look at him, wondering what breed he his. Our groomers give us shit for not asking for something fancier, but we like the way he looks. Several people approached us, saying things like, “I just have to ask, what kind of dog is he?” or “What a beautiful cinnamon boy!” (He’s apricot in color). The majority of him asked his name, which I readily revealed. After the 6th or 7th inquisitor, though, I began to have fun.

A woman approached, asking the standard questions. When she inquired about his name, my improv-addled mind pushed me to blurt out, “Alistair”. Milton stifled a laugh and PGirl shot me a smirk. After the lady left, my wife asked, “What are you doing?”. I smiled back, “Just having a laugh!”.

A few moments later, another lady approached us with the name question. I replied, “Acadian Driftwood”. She didn’t bat an eye. Milton was having a hard time not busting up this time. We walked over to the grass across from the singing area to listen to the kids. Several more people and their dogs visited with us, but no one was asking his name. I was getting anxious. Finally, the next mark approached.

“What is your poodle’s name?”. I started running through a short list of ridiculous “A” names. Before I could settle on one, she cut me off with her next question. “Is it Coco?”. I choked back a laugh. Coco was a brilliant name. My voice quivering, I said. “No. His name is…”. I was having difficulty coming up with a clever name. “Coco” kept ringing in my ears. I gave up and gave in. “Asa.”, I said. “His name is Asa”. She walked away from us and Milton and I gave up our fun and games.

Thursday, June 28, 2007

Woman Of The Year

In honor of my dear wife Preppy Girl's thirty@#$$#$$% birthday (last Sunday), I present to y'all...

Thirteen Things You Might Not Know About Preppy Girl
  1. She is a bonified expert in romantic comedies. No joke here. She watches as many as she can see in what free time she has (even made for cable). As much as I bitch about "Prince and Me 2" and "The Cutting Edge 2" and "Ashton Kutcher Drags Amanda Peet Down To His Sublevel Piece of Crap RomCom", her knowledge of these films astounds me.
  2. She once did a pub crawl in Bemus Point with a blow up doll. His name (modified with a permanent marker.....Mr. Tud. They weren't alone, but with her bridesmaids at her bachelorette party.
  3. She took me home to meet her mother on our third date. Boy did I have her family fooled! In a foreshadowing moment, I spent part of the evening talking trivia on the phone with my future B.I.L. and fellow Guest, Mr. Social.
  4. She introduced me to the joys of Key West. Which we attempt to recreate on every subsequent trip. Seriously. We almost always hit Hog's Breath Saloon, Captain Tony's, The Book Store, Blue Heaven and The Conch Train Tour.
  5. She can always talk me down. From whatever trips my fuse.
  6. She is an excellent teacher. To her employees, to our kids and to me (with all things Microsoft Office.)
  7. She rode on Kentucky Colonel's motorcycle. And flipped me the bird on I-75.
  8. She is a great gift buyer/giver/wrapper. Very good taste all around.
  9. She is a competitive dart thrower. Having played in a league in Florida, she has taught me the sport and hopefully will teach it to our kiddoes.
  10. She is a Jeep fanatic. We've owned or leased three since we've been together. That Patriot is looking good and affordable! Even the kids had a Jeep rocking chair when they were infants.
  11. She hung out with one of the villains from "Crocodile Dundee 2". No lie.
  12. Her hair looks really good when it is up. It looks good whether in an up-do or just clipped in.
  13. She has three tattoos. And one of them makes a sound when pressed upon...

Just Words

I've recently been informed that Galoot's Hoot Page has been nominated for "Best Local Blog" in the Chautauqua Region Word weekly arts/entertainment paper. Certainly, I am honored by even being considered for this distinction, but I have to give some credit to those blogs which I read often. Included are websites I visit often.
  1. Preppy Girl's Guide - By the woman who got me into blogging just over a year ago. My wife, my soulmate, my love. A window into our humble life in Western New York.
  2. And You Know What Else - The mostly anonymous "R" is a young, married and funny lawyer who is married to a galoot-like fellow, also working in law. Takes me back to the days before we had kids.
  3. Mama Drama - The Houston Chronicle hosts blogs by several moms at various stages in their lives. My favorite to read is by Jenny Lawson, who also has a more profane blog - The Bloggess.
  4. Starry Night Boutique - Preppy Girl's same sex soulmate and BFF, the Princess herself, gives us a unique look into life in her midwestern town. Imaginary friends, hairless cats and angry drivers rule.
  5. In Java, Literally... - Runs a close second to Preppy Girl for my vote for favorite local blog. WRFA's newsreader and improv audience regular enlightens the world to her existence in the Southern Tier, including her husband - a government official and skateboarder.
  6. What Jeff Killed - A large orange cat in California is "death itself" to the other critters in his domain. His adopted owners document his exploits graphically and with humor.
  7. Chautauqua Area Music Profile - Ever wonder what musicians from my part of the state talk about? Surprisingly, not much about music. Check out the forums for threads of local debate.
  8. Post Journal - Jamestown's own newspaper has improved since I moved here five years ago, but it still has a ways to go. Check out the letters section for the Bill O'Reilly wannabes and the opinions section for the editor's "fair and balanced" comments.
  9. G-Mail - Google mail is the only account I have that hasn't been spammed.
  10. Harry Shearer - Visit on Wednesdays for a rebroadcast of his Sunday night, one man, many voices program "Le Show".
  11. Arts Council - The website for my workplace. New and improving. And I helped!
  12. Weather Channel - More bugs than Weather Bug, but I still visit for the forecast.
  13. Chautauqua Region Word - Arts, entertainment, cartoons and more.

Sunday, June 17, 2007

Where It's At

Busy beavers are we in Western New York.

Jamestown has been the location of several events since Memorial Day weekend.

  1. Lucy-Desi days came and went - though we skipped town after a late-night improv set.
  2. The Gus Macker tournament took over 3rd street for a few days as did the...
  3. ...Wild Rib Cook Off, which expanded this year.
  4. Yassou - St. Nicholas' church's annual Greek festival took down its tents today. PGirlJr. and GalootJr. each took several turns on the dancing platform. Icing on the cake is the church only being 8 blocks away from our house.

The Sopranos ended its run a week ago tonight. I've only seriously watched the show for the last two seasons, but loved every minute I saw, including the final episode. Without getting into spoilers, I will say that the last five minutes of the show were gripping, and I was immensely satisfied with the ambiguous nature of the conclusion. I'm sick of reading t.v. critics trying to rally people behind them by claiming that David Chase let the fans down. As if all of the bitchers out there could agree on an ending to the story.

Father's Day was cool. PGirl and GalootJr. surprised me last night with the gift of a new DVD player. This one upgrades regular images up to near the quality of High Def - which our newest TV is equipped with. We watched "For Your Consideration" on it. Very funny movie. This morning we had breakfast with the Silver Fox, The Greater Spy and his family. Then we headed down to visit with The Organ Grinder and Saint Eileen for some lunch and dessert. All is well!

PSlea and Monkey visited with the kiddoes last week. Having them around was a blast. Reminded me of when my Uncle Bill, Aunt Maureen and their 3 kids lived with us in Long Island 30 years ago. We did birthday parties for PGirlJr. and my niece, attended a ballet recital for PGirlJr., did an improv show, cooked in, ordered in and more. Monkey and I finally had a boy's night out with The Greater Spy, Ian and Kip, doing the Jamestown pub crawl until the wee hours of Wednesday morning. Billiard balls were played and darts were thrown (including one plastic one at my hand, due to a sadistic tradition that The Unexpected Guests have). Can't wait to see our Illini brethren again!

Wednesday, June 06, 2007

Kids

My children are consistent in making me crack up. Regarding their recent exploits:

Galoot Jr. - During our recent trip to the Kentucky Colonel's homestead:
  • Climbed into Colonel's car. When I lifted him out of it, an unpleasant smell wafted past my nostrils. I set the boy down in the driveway (in front of Mick, Mrs. Mick and a few other party guests) and asked if he had pooped his pants. After GJr. said he hadn't, I pulled back the waist band of his shorts and stuck my face down there to take a look. Without hesitation, the boy blasted an air biscuit, inches from my mug. While the small crowd laughed, GJr. walked a few steps, stretched his arms out and continued on his way.
  • Peed off of the back porch into the grass. A perfect, golden arc into the lush bluegrass. He then pulled his shorts up, clapped his hands together and rubbed them. A new day had dawned.
PGirl Jr.
  • During the trip to Kentucky, she flirted throughout the afternoon with a 12 year old boy who was a cousin's guest. During a game of head to head Halo, she sat next to her object of affection, hands on her knees, giggling at everything he said and did.
  • This morning, as we pulled out of the driveway, we noticed three rabbits on the lawn, eating their breakfast. PGJr. said that rabbits are good because they don't bite people. I told her that, any wild animal had the potential to bite if they were scared. PGJr. remarked, "If a rabbit bites someone, they become Rabbit Man.". "Like Spiderman?", I asked. She replied, "Yes."

Tuesday, May 22, 2007

The Real Dressing Room - Florida

This is an improvised video shot in 1995 at Florida Atlantic University. It was made backstage during the production of "Measure For Measure", taped, directed and edited by cast member Bron Barry - no relation, but a very cool dude who's living and working in L.A. now.

I love, how, only a few years into the Real World's existence, we "young people" knew what utter bullshit it was. I'm pretty sure we made this around between San Francisco and London seasons. Look for Jimmy McJamestown (pictured above), Charlie Berfield, Keven Scotti, Reggie Garcon, Paul Casali, Des Gallant and many others (including Bron!), improvising our hearts out.

Now that I know the rules of improv, I'm picking my performance apart (it has been 12 years since I've seen this). But it is kind of fun to watch. Thanks to Bron for posting this! Beware, it is almost 18 minutes long and contains profanities. Enjoy!

Friday, May 18, 2007

A Quick One While She's Away...

What is up?

Work and home are busy, busy, busy now!

Some updates:

Asa got a haircut at Groomingdale's yesterday. We kept some hair on his muzzle, ears and tail. He looks freaky! But I love it. I spoke with our groomer about some Halloween cuts for October....

Galoot Jr. and myself are getting haircuts tonight. Fun stuff.

I've been growing a beard for a play reading in June. I'll be playing Buffalo Bill at an unveiling for a wood-cut, billboard that was uncovered on the side of my office's building a few years ago. This thing is vintage and very cool. Please don't laugh at our website. We'll be presenting a new one soon!

It took a few seasons, but it appears that Jim and Pam might finally be getting together on The Office! Very funny, very cool episode. I've already seen conspiracy theories on the net regarding Ryan's taking the job at corporate. Remember when Wallace said it would be nice to have another M.B.A. at work? Ryan is still in business school, no? Big theory is Wallace was talking to Karen, then Karen was the one talking to Ryan. What do you think? In other sweeps-period type developments, one of the gals I dated in graduate school was playing, Grace, the receptionist at Dunder-Mifflin in NYC! PGirl was very pleased when I paused the image to reveal this to her!

We're going to attempt a marathon trip next week. On Thursday, PGirl and I will drive 3 hours east to Elmira and catch my mentor's production of Cabaret at the college. On Friday night, we'll be back in town for The Unexpected Guests annual Lucy-Desi Days show. Early on Saturday morning, we're going to beat it out of town to vist the Colonel, the Mick, Momma Hen and Taken for a Memorial Day weekend hootenanny!

Friday, May 11, 2007

Uninspired....

...so I'll steal another type of entry. From PSlea,

Four Things about Me

Four jobs I have had in my life:
1) Puppeteer - For a very brief stint, I worked two puppets for an ill-conceived, ill-fated Saturday morning, 6am, public access, children's show that basically served to sell a video of the puppets (with different performers). One character was a cowboy/cyclone and the other was a Rastafarian, rotary telephone. His name was Rastaphone.
2) Usher/Concessions Dude - I worked at Loew's Cinemas in Florence, Kentucky. At that time, nine auditoriums were considered a multiplex. Itchy polyester pants. Free popcorn and movies. I served Ozzy Osbourne and his entourage.
3) Camp Counselor - My first job stretched out over 3 summers at two different scout camps. Too many stories to tell here. The cub scout camp was the most fun though. Not because of the kids. No, the older guys on staff were like a fraternity and were insanely cool and funny.
4) Book/Music Seller - I helped to open the Border's in Boynton Beach, Florida eleven years ago. If I went back into retail, I'd consider that chain.

Four places I have lived:
1) Islip, New York - My first memories were in an old house on Long Island. We lived a few miles from the ocean. It is congested as hell now, but I like visiting when I can.
2) Delray Beach, Florida - I rented a very cool, recently renovated little apartment from Jimmy McJamestown's folks. Only stayed for 4 months. It was about 50 yards from a 7-11.
3) Deerfield Beach, Florida - Shacked up with PGirl for almost 2 years before we married. Her first condo.
4) Northern Kentucky - My formative years were spent in this part of the southern midwest. Mere miles from Cincinnati and B.F.E.

FOUR TV SHOWS I LIKE TO WATCH
I think I recommended some shows in a previous entry...

Four Places I've Been on Vacation:
1) Ireland - Weeks before my wedding, my family went and visited my Mom's cousins.
2) Key West - Possibly my favorite place to go.
3) Lake Cumberland, Kentucky - Houseboating for a week - several hundred dollars. Beer in a dry county - 50 bucks. Going nude down a slide into the water at midnight - priceless!
4) Warren, Pennsylvania - As a 14 year old. Don't try this. Ever.

FOUR OF MY FAVORITE FOODS:
1) Sushi
2) Pizza
3) Bagels with cream cheese, salmon and capers.
4) Bacon

I WOULD RATHER BE RIGHT NOW:
1) Home.
2) Mother's Day morning.
3) Key West
4) At a Pavement concert.

Friday, May 04, 2007

Silver Screen

Wow! A lot of blogging folks seem to be on a movie kick. I'll chime in here.

The family will be packing in the "man"ivan soon to head over to the Park 60 Drive In. At dusk, we'll be watching "Spiderman 3", munching on popcorn and trying to keep the kids from killing each other. I love the drive-in, because we can all see a movie together without GalootJr. making a run for the exits before the first reel is over.

I'm looking forward to seeing this movie. Hopefully it will be entertaining. What follows are my favorite super hero movies. In no particular order...
  1. Spiderman 2 - Perfect balance of humor, hubris and action. This one managed to be a Sam Raimi movie, while preserving the integrity of Peter Parker.
  2. X-Men - Not bad for an "origin" story. Wolverine's entrance was memorable.
  3. X-Men 2 - Nightcrawler was well realized here. Shame the controls were turned over to Brett Ratner for number 3.
  4. Superman - Still rocks my world after almost 30 years. I loved Christopher Reeves' take on the character.
  5. Blade - Thoroughly entertaining bit of vampire killing. Wesley Snipes owned the character.
  6. Superman 2 - Richard Donner was asked to leave production after much of this one was in the can. I'd like to see his cut that is available on DVD.
  7. Batman Begins - Very, very cool! Almost perfect cast all-around.
  8. Batman - I liked the music, the sets and the costumes. I'm still not crazy about Michael Keaton though. And Jack Nicholson was good, not great.
  9. Ghost World - Based on a graphic novel about two teens facing life after high school graduation. Funny. Sad. Quirky.

Thursday, April 26, 2007

While We're On This Subject...

My favorite places to eat breakfast are...

  1. Aldo's - A Jamestown greasy spoon. It is what it is. Some of the best diner food I've ever had.
  2. Stringtown - A Florence, Kentucky greasy spoon. Best biscuits and gravy!
  3. Denny's - If you can't eat at a local place, find one of these chains.
  4. Tom Sawyer's - A Boca Raton joint that serves breakfast in a pot. Literally. Three biscuits on the bottom, covered with gravy, topped with scrambled eggs with whatever you like and sprinkled with cheese.
  5. Bagel City South - Cram a bunch of tables and chairs into a small Jewish deli and this is what you get. If you can't make it to a New York City diner, this is the Boca Raton version.
  6. Bob Evans - 2nd best biscuits and gravy ever.
  7. Original Pancake House - IHOP? I don't think so.

Honorable Mentions -

  1. Cracker Barrel - Pretty good southern food, yes. But I hate, hate, hate, waiting forty five minutes to get a table. The gift shop can only hold my attention for so long.
  2. Coffee Cup - This Jamestown restaurant has the best monthly breakfast specials of any breakfast joint I've been to. The waitresses are really nice, but...for a place with this name, they should really try to give you a refill more than they do.

Glorious Food

Ingloriously Ripped From Jenny at Mama Drama

1- Can you cook? If yes, do you like to cook?
I can cook and I love it. I'm getting better at cleaning as I go.

2 - When does your whole family come together to eat?
Usually everyone is at the table 4-5 times a week.

3 - What do you have for breakfast?
Breakfast bar or bowl of cereal most of the week. Sometimes a bagel with salmon, cream cheese and capers from Timothy's. Big breakfast (bacon, eggs, etc.) once a week.

4 - How often do you eat out?
Once a week.

5 - How often do you order-in or take-away?
Once a week (alternates with #4).

6 - Re: 5 & 6 - If money was no question, would you like to do it more often?
Not necessarily. If money wasn't a question, I'd probably cook more.

7- Are there any quarrels because of food?
PGirl Jr. is notoriously picky. I have a thin skin sometimes when cooking breakfast.

8 - Are you vegetarian or can you imagine living vegetarian?
I could be a vegetarian. Just a matter of finding what you like.

9 - What would you like to try out that you haven't dared yet?
Beef Tartar.

10 - Would you rather cook or bake?
Cook. I'll bake once we get a stand mixer.

11 - What do your kids like to eat best? What would your kids never eat?
They like mac and cheese, pizza, some pasta. They don't like certain vegetables.

12 - What do you dislike most?
Processed American cheese slices.

13-what are you hungry for right now? Sushi.

Monday, April 23, 2007

Monday, Monday

While driving today - a lot of miles - I remembered on book trilogy that should have been on the list. The Barrytown Trilogy by Roddy Doyle. These books follow the Rabbit family of Northern Ireland. The first book, "The Commitments", was made into a film in the early '90's. "The Snapper" and "The Van" were also made into films. Though I love "The Commitments", "The Snapper" is my absolute favorite. Trivia: Colm Meaney of "Star Trek Deep Space Nine", played the patriarch in each film, though the names of the family changed after the 1st film.

I drove 3 hours to Rochester this morning for a two hour regional meeting of my peers. I decided to take an alternate route home that would have gotten me back in the same amount of time. When looking at the map, I realized if I drove an hour out of my route, I could surprise my old college professor and mentor, John Kelly. We met in college in Missouri. He's since taught in Louisiana and got his current job in Elmira, New York last year. With the help of PGirl on Mapquest (like Chloe Sullivan from "24") I managed to walk into a production meeting John was having for his spring musical. He smiled and was otherwise unfazed, saying something like, "You made it."

Elmira is a lovely little town. We talked about doing a two man show this summer for charity. Should be fun.

PGirl Jr. has the chicken pox. Check out my wife's blog for details.

I sewed a button on my favorite work pants this weekend. When I showed it off to PGirl and Galoot Jr. (who were sitting down at the time), my crotch was level with the boy's face. I tugged on the button, an action which my son mistook for my making water. Quote Jr., "Don't pee on me! I'm not a toilet."

The local news - a Time Warner cable station - revisited my improv troupe last month for a VIP Chautauqua piece. They aired interviews and performance footage of us for three consecutive segments over the last few weeks. As soon as it is up on Mr. Social's YouTube page, I'll post a link. If you don't want to place my voice with my mug, don't watch it!

Thursday, April 19, 2007

Read All About It

Ten Book Series I Have Enjoyed Throughout The Years:
  1. His Dark Materials Trilogy by Philip Pullman - A young girl bridges several alternate earths (including ours) and combats a bureaucratic government with the help of a Texas hot air ballon pilot, a talking polar bear, gypsies, witches and a boy from America. Sounds hokey, but it isn't. In Lyra's world, the soul manifests itself as an animal which is always by your side. Unless someone tries to seperate them....
  2. Harry Potter - The first book was a joy to read, as a young orphan finally found a home at a school of magic. The fourth book was a classic middle of the journey story (think "Empire Strikes Back"). As the books have become longer, the story has become darker, richer and more involved.
  3. The Great Brain - Fun vignettes about a boy in turn of the century Utah who schemes his way through life. Ferris Bueller as a Mormon.
  4. Hitchhiker's Guide To The Galaxy - If Monty Python had written books about science fiction/fantasy...
  5. Ramona/Henry Huggins - Sister Juanita would read these to us in the fourth grade. Beverly Cleary rocked.
  6. Macdonald Hall - Two Ferris Bueller-y types play pranks in a Canadian boarding school. Written by a then-juvenile Gordon Korman.
  7. The Three Investigators - Three Hardy Boy-esque archetypes (fat kid, jock kid, non-descript kid) solve local mysteries. Bonus points for having a secret, airstream trailer base in a junk yard.
  8. Lonesome Dove - The original is a classic, the sequel - a dark, dark wrap-up and the prequels were fair to middling. Catch the miniseries, all of which are pretty decent. The last book released (number 2 in chronological order) is supposed to be televised this year on CBS. With Val Kilmer no less!
  9. Xanth - Piers Anthony's characters were based on mythological creatures and magicians who live in a land not unlike Florida. Several generations of characters are covered in these books. A lot of winking references to modern conveyances.
  10. Uncle John's Bathroom Reader - Perfect for long or short hauls on the porcelain throne.
Three series I should read:
  1. The Lord of The Rings - I still haven't made it through "The Two Towers" yet. I think I was spoiled by the movies.
  2. The Chronicles of Narnia - Sounds cool enough.
  3. The Dark Tower - I have a copy of the first trade paperback of the first book on my night stand. Trying hard to get through it. I need to just plow through the damn thing until I'm hooked.

Thursday, April 12, 2007

Boob Tube

Quick and Cheap today....

Thirteen Television Shows You Should Be Watching:

  1. The Office - Since beginning as a virtual copy of the British version with the pilot, this one has come into its own. The Jim and Pam story arc is painfully realistic and it looks like they'll wait until the season finale to come to a resolution (if any). Steve Carell's character tries so hard to please everyone and usually fails. Best pushing the envelope lines since "Arrested Development".
  2. 30 Rock - I didn't start watching this until mid-season, but I love it. If you enjoy Alec Baldwin's commitment to absurd characters on "Saturday Night Live", then you should like this show. Eccentric characters abound. This show is like "My Name Is Earl", but without the heart.
  3. Mythbusters - Fun for the whole family! If you've ever wanted to see old proverbs, urban legends and myths tested scientifically, this show is for you. Things often explode on this program.
  4. Friday Night Lights - Imagine the best parts of "My So Called Life" and "Once and Again" mashed up with a season of rural Texas high school football and you get this gem. Like a lot of NBC shows, you can catch up with repeats on Bravo. Hopefully they'll do a marathon soon!
  5. Battlestar Galactica - The producers took the premise of the original ABC series and infused it with dramatic story arcs. Not just a sci-fi show. There are robots, robots who look like humans, and the humans they may or may not want to kill off. Some former "Deep Space Nine" people work on this show.
  6. Pardon The Interruption - A daily dose of sporting news, delivered and debated by two balding sports writers from D.C. Fun, informative and bombastic.
  7. The Daily Show - The first 10 minutes of this show are some of the funniest comedy you'll see in a given week, month or year.
  8. Conan O'Brien - Still rocking late night after several years on the air. The comedy bits before and after the 1st interview are worth recording the show.
  9. Saturday Night Live - Some folks still think the first season was the best. I say you can't compare them that way. The topical humor of the mid 70's only flies on cable stations now. Love it or hate it, the show still manages to knock you on your ass, laughing at least once each episode. Best line of the season, "Bobby McFerrin raped my grandmother." And for those MadTV folks out there who like to bash SNL regularly, you are invited to the grown up table to feast on some adult comedy any time.
  10. The Venture Brothers - A scientist, his idiot-teenaged sleuth sons and their homicidal bodyguard try to get by in life while being targeted by a butterfly themed villain named The Monarch. You really have to see this cartoon to believe it. By far, the best use of Patrick Warburton's voice in an animated series, ever.
  11. 24 - This season has sucked and blowed like never before, but I'm hanging with it to see how they'll wrap it up. Ricky "The Ricker" Schroeder showed up a few episodes ago as a Jack Bauer type without all the family baggage. Greatest line of the season - when Ricky's character enters a warehouse where Bauer has recently dispatched ten terrorists with bullets and then hanged their leader on a chain in order to secure two nuclear bombs. Ricky's line, "Damn Jack!"
  12. Austin City Limits - Unshackle yourself from terrestrial radio, "American Idol", MTV and anything run by Clear Channel to see some truly diverse musical acts in a live setting. Check local listings as it airs on PBS.
  13. Project Runway - And I though "Top Chef" was great. This competition for clothing designers provided the template for all the other Bravo knockoffs.

Sunday, April 08, 2007

Seven Songs

I didn't get tagged for this one, but I liked it so much, that I had to share. Basically you pick seven songs that you've been listening to and tag seven friends to share. Here are my picks:

1. “Listening Man” by The Bees (U.K.) - This one has been playing on Sirius a lot lately. I sounds like Bob Marley by a bunch of white dudes. Like UB40 without the crap remake baggage. I don't think the album is out yet. These guys are real throwbacks.
2. “Jacksonville” by Sufjan Stevens - I posted a link to a live video version of this tune a few months ago. The recorded version is good, but the live version is better. The only song about Helen Keller that I know about.
3. “Rise Up With Fists” by Jenny Lewis with the Watson Twins - Lewis reminds me of Neko Case with a better singing voice. A lot of her songs are alt-country, but (as my friend Conroe put it) there's some blue-eyed soul in their as well.
4. “Company In My Back” by Wilco - This one's gotta be a few years old now, but I still love it. I have no idea what it is about, but it is a beautiful track.
5. “He War” by Cat Power - Another song from the recent past. I like the overdubs of Chan Marhsall with her own lead vocal.
6. “A Method” – by TV On The Radio - Last summer I heard this song over and over on WOXY.com. Nice studio song, but I wonder what the live version is like.
7. Unknown - by Half Japanese – Jad and David Fair are a couple of brothers who taught themselves how to play instruments and recorded a lot of music. Think Gordon Gano of the Violent Femmes fronting The Minutemen. I don’t know the title of the song, but I heard it in a documentary about the band a couple of weeks ago. I wrote an email to Jad Fair, asking him for the title. We’ll see if he gets back to me!

Tag: Brother Mick, Preppygirl, PSlea, Mr. Social, Julia, TCrowe and Momma Hen

Guilty Pleasure of the Week: The Bridge - A soft rock channel on Sirius. I almost stayed in the car last week to finish hearing "Blue Bayou" by Linda Ronstadt.

Thursday, April 05, 2007

Keeping It Real

Movie boyfriends? Movie girlfriends? Have all of you blogesses gone insane? If you're going to crush on a media personality, at least choose real people and not characters on the silver screen. I present to you:

Eight Of My Television News Girlfriends

  1. Ann Curry - She's exotic and reads the news really well. Plus, she's vulnerable from losing the "Today" anchor job to Meredith. I'm here for you Ann.
  2. Robin Meade - Finally, CNN has put her name on the morning show she does. You rock my world Robin.
  3. Chris Jansing - She kind of looks like a manga character, but since her hair has grown out, it kind of balance out her features. MSNBC stands for My Super Nubile Broadcasting Crush.
  4. Campbell Brown - She must be like, 6 feet 2 inches or something. Sort of tomboyish. Lenny likes!
  5. Jodi Applegate - Whatever ever became of...? Jodi was like a shorter, more wholesome version of Campbell. She rocked my weekend "Today" visits.
  6. Natalie Morales - Muy caliente!
  7. Maryalice Demler - Our Buffalo NBC co-anchor. Former beauty queen, though she doesn't flaunt it. The only brunette with frosted tips that keeps the crunch in my cereal.
  8. Hannah Storm - Emigrated from the sporting news world into that crapfest at CBS. Hannah, you can join my morning news team any day!
And Five Who Missed The Cut:
  1. Katie Couric - You used to be cute, but the blond dye has affected your look for the worse. You should really consult someone in wardrobe.
  2. Jodi Johnston- Another morning person from Buffalo. The clothes she chooses have done her in.
  3. Meredith Viera - I lusted after you on "West 57th" years ago. But "The View" showed some sides of you I'm just not crazy for. Sorry.
  4. Connie Chung - You chose Maury over me. Whatev.
  5. Soledad O'Brien - We could have had something.

Tuesday, April 03, 2007

Who Are You?

Another acquaintance from my college days has been in the blogosphere for several months now. Unlike my other chums from Fayette, Missouri in the nineties, I do not know the identity of this person. She is being coy and dropping hints here and there, but she hasn't cracked yet. Looks like we'll have to use the process of elimination here:
  1. She isn't Tony Vrooman, Dino English or Tony Primeau because those guys are dudes.
  2. She isn't Flybunny because Flybunny is Flybunny.
  3. She isn't Gwen Stefani, because Gwen Stefani sucks.
  4. She isn't old girlfriend, Doctor SLK, because I don't think my old flame would want to reveal much in a blog.
  5. She isn't Doctor SLK's old roommate Doctor H, because she is even less likely to blog.
  6. She isn't the always entertaining MelMcD. because she said so.
  7. She isn't TCrowe, because Skippy has TCrowe to himself in a cool house in Rocheport.

I'm not going to give out other names I'm thinking here, because I'm not feeling like it. But this is kind of fun.

P.S. Tracy, she might be one of your music sorority sisters or a theatre sorority sister...

Monday, March 26, 2007

Mr. Roboto







Jenny from Mama Drama apparently has experience fending off angry robots. We have a slight infestation in Western New York as well....

Sunday, March 25, 2007

Life Rocks!

What a weekend! The second in a row that I managed to enjoy. Some highlights:

- Remembering the old college days because I discovered that one of PGirl's blog-buddies went to college with me for two years. Big ups to Flybunny.

- My March Madness bracket is shoring up. I went 22 of 32 for the 1st round, 11 of 16 for the second round and After a post-lunch visit to the Wine Cellar for a look at my picks, I despaired, seeing I was 9 points behind the guy in first and tied with a gazillion people for something like 10th place. By Friday night I was 6 for 8 and tonight, Georgetown sealed my Final Four, perfectly. I have Florida and Georgetown in the final with the Gators repeating.

- In a somewhat sad note, Tubby Smith, ten year head coach at Kentucky, left to coach the gophers of Minnesota. Good for him. I've got another team to support. Now, who will fill his shoes in Lexington. Any guesses? Billy Donovan would be a huge score for the Wildcats. We'll see what happens.

- In a funny note, Galoot Jr. was in the McDonald's bathroom this morning, humming a familiar theme. I asked him what song he was singing. He said, "Star Wars". The little sprout was humming the "Imperial March". May the poop be with you all.

Wednesday, March 21, 2007

We Are Family!

Wow. It seems that the disovery of the blogs of friends and family seem to cluster together. A couple of days after finding Steve and Tracy, the blogs of my stepbrother and sister-in-law come to my attention. Check them out!

Tuesday, March 20, 2007

Tuesday...something.

  1. Not a thirteen. Maybe something else.

Two dear friends from my college days have been blogging for a long while and I'd like to link them up here.

Steve (a.k.a Skippy)


And Tracy!

Here goes...

Some Random Recollections About My Friends, Steve and Tracy

  1. Tracy was among the very first group of folks I met at college that remained friends throughout our tenure.
  2. I met Steve when we were cast as sidekicks in "Scapino".
  3. Tracy is from Oklahoma and a perfect example of Midwestern kindness.
  4. Steve (I believe) is from Missouri and a perfect example of what happens to you if you use the same facial expression too much. In other words, the guy has a huge smile that was present often during our times together.
  5. Tracy's dad was a founding member of my fraternity.
  6. Steve was in another fraternity, whose members I was very close to.
  7. Tracy and Steve are both accomplished vocalists.
  8. Tracy was in a sorority with my college girlfriends, Sara and Traci.
  9. Steve and I founded our own fraternity known as "The Squirrels".
  10. Tracy had a propensity for reaching out to people in genuine generosity.
  11. Steve had a propensity for reaching out to me in genuine nudity (and I reciprocated!).
  12. Steve and Tracy honored me by asking me to be the best man at their wedding!

Sunday, March 18, 2007

March Madness 2

Is there any better weekend of the year than the one that comes closest to the Ides of March? If the calendar dates fall into place, St. Patrick's Day coincides with the beginning of the NCAA Basketball Tournaments. This year was a trifecta as the second round of games and the Irish-American holiday fell on a Saturday. Bliss, sheer bliss.

I spent part of my free time on Thursday and Friday prepping for our somewhat annual St. Patrick's Day dinner by prepping the menu and watching 1st round games. Work was a virtual wash on Thursday as I kept an eye on the scores and listened to a few games on the radio. I managed to pick 22 of 32 winners in the 1st Round. I'm 8 for 11 on the second round so far. The best I can do is 11 out of 16. It was nice seeing Duke get dropped on Thursday night.

On the commercial front, am I to believe that Kevin Bacon and Michael Jordan are roommates? What does Kyra Sedgwick feel about this? I'm so confused. I think I'll go to the Dollar General and buy some underwear.

I picked up extra groceries for dinner on Friday night (in the midst of some nasty snow) and grabbed take-out from the best fried fish place in town. Then I peeled potatos while watching Kentucky beat Villanova. Relief, at least until 7pm tonight when the world will know if the Wildcats have tournament legs.

Saturday couldn't have been more perfect. I only had to make one trip to the grocery for last minute ingredients and we managed to clean the house (mostly PGirl) and cook the food (mostly me) while keeping the kiddoes occupied. Not one moment of stress or yelling or anything of that sort.

Our menu:

Corned Beef Brisket
Shepherd's Pie (with and without cheddar cheese)
Potatos
Potato and Turnip Au Gratin with Pecorino Romano cheese
Soda Bread
Beer Bread
Scones (the last 3 made by Saint Eileen)
Dublin Cheddar
Some other funky Irish Cheese that kind of tasted smoked
Brie
Cracker Assortment

At The Bar:
Guinness in the can (served in a pint glass)
Guinness in a bottle
Harp Lager
Southern Tier Beer
Cask and Cream Irish Liquor
Irish Whiskey

Fun was had by all! The guests were a mix of co-workers, friends, family and acquaintances. The shepherd's pie was popular as was the corned beef. PGirl brought a space heater from work, so we warmed up our porch room and threw some darts as well. We finished off the Irish cream (I had a bit too much of it) and wound up with gift bottles of Carolan's (another fine substitute for Bailey's) and a red wine from my boss. I'm certain PGirl will do a write up on the evening as well, but I figured I'd put out my take!

Thursday, March 15, 2007

Funny Pages

I read them every morning. Well, there are at least two that I read every morning. Mondays through Fridays I read them on the web. On the weekends I buy the newspaper to get a hold of them. Whatever the case, I gotsta have my daily comic strips. Here are 13 ones that I read or have read with frequency over the years:

1. "Funky Winkerbean" - The main characters started out as teens in the seventies and didn't age for several years. Now they're all my age and somewhat relatable. I love how the seasons change throughout the strip as well as the recurring themes of high school life (for teachers and students), family, love and loss.

2. "For Better Or For Worse" - I have literally grown up with this family. Son, Michael is about my age and has two kids, just like me. It took me a long time to figure out they lived in Canada, but that didn't change the impact it has on me. Cloying at times, (especially with the author's take on the youngest daughter's life in high school), but ultimately worth sticking with. Like "Funky", it has story arcs that keep me hooked.

3. "Luann" - I hate, hate, hate the author's take on kids and parents. It is just too pat for me. And each character is drawn, at times, with a smug look about them (half-lidded, "I told you so eyes.". The only reason I come back is to see if brother Brad will end up with Toni.

4. "Dilbert" - I should read this daily, but usually opt for the Sunday version. I've only worked in an office setting in the last year, so mostly I love the absurd comedy that crops up.

5. "Get Fuzzy" - Anthropomorphized cat and dog making their owner's life very interesting. Some gaggy, punny humor at times, but I still love it.

6. "Bloom County" - Long gone for many years now, the characters still live on in "Opus" on Sundays and in collections. Political, satrical, filled with parodies - a living testament to the 1980's and all things cultural.

7. "Crankshaft" - The bus driver from "Funky Winkerbean" has his own spin-off. Another slice of midwestern living. Watch for the crossovers with its parent strip from time to time.

8. "Pickles" - A retired, elderly couple living out their golden years with the help of a dog, cat and grandson (who is sometimes like a pet himself). Light, easy-going humor.

9. "Calvin and Hobbes" - Brilliant strip! I used to read the collections before I went to sleep at night. Bill Watterson was very outspoken on the comics business as well.

10. "The Far Side" - Still alive in desktop calendars.

11. "Peanuts" - This one captured the innocence of childhood and the ability of kid's to see through bullshit.

12. "Dog Eat Doug" - A harmless lark about an infant boy and his dog. "Calvin and Hobbes" lite.

13. "Mutts" - Cute strip about cats and dogs - sensing a theme here? Cute, but not in a "Family Circus" way. Thankfully.

Thursday, March 08, 2007

...and expeditious!

PGirl and I watched "A Prairie Home Companion" last night. This is the second time she has checked it out of the library, but the first time we've made time to watch it. It is pretty good. Not bad as a Robert Altman film. And it is a pretty good interpretation of the radio show (which I'm a fan of.) Mostly I'm happy that I saw the film before it became one of those "I wish I'd seen it!" films. With this in mind, I present to you...

Thirteen Films I Want To Take Off Of My "I Wish I Had Seen" List:

  1. "Nashville" - A Robert Altman film from the seventies. I recorded it from Turner Classic Movies (which shows widescreen). I loved "MASH" and "Short Cuts" so I'm pretty sure I'll like this one too.
  2. "Sin City" - I bought this one on DVD over a year ago and still haven't watched it. I have a feeling "300" might fall into this category.
  3. "Kill Bill" - Both volumes. I've seen most of these two films - out of sequence - on HBO and TNT. I saw "Pulp Fiction" four times in theatres and still think it was robbed of the Oscar by "Forrest Gump". I owe Tarantino a few hours of my time.
  4. "Laurence of Arabia" - Aunt Janet gave the VHS, letterboxed version to me several years ago, and I still haven't watched it.
  5. "Reds" - By all accounts, a great one. Some day I'll remember to rent it.
  6. "The Ref" - Another DVD we've owned for a couple of years. PGirl swears by it.
  7. "The Quiet Man" - I'm an Irish-American. This one is sort of like a rite of passage.
  8. "The Conversation" - Coppola's 1974, eavesdropping flick is supposed to be one of his better ones.
  9. "Taxi Driver" - A Scorcese pic that many swear by.
  10. "Gone With The Wind" - Is it really as good as people say?
  11. "Sophie's Choice" - I already know what she chose to do. Should I still see it?
  12. "Seven Samurai" - The Kurosawa classic that spawned many remakes.
  13. "Citizen Kane" - Maybe if I had taken film appreciation...

Sunday, March 04, 2007

March Madness

The first week back from vacation has always been hell for me. By last Friday I was caught up with my work. The house work is coming around a bit this weekend. I've managed to do a couple loads of laundry and make 2 meals that we can heat up throughout the week. Time to blog. Nothing in particular to write about today. Looks like it will be a scattershot kind of post.

R wrote about two fortunate sons of 1980's sitcoms - Alex P. Keaton and Mike Seaver. She asked her readers to pick one. For me, it was easy. Alex. And "Family Ties". No contest. "Growing Pains" loses just because of Alan Thicke and Sylvester Stabone. And that Jeremy kid who played the little brother.

Besides, Alex had more pathos. Did Mike ever talk to his dead friend in a "very special episode"? I don't think so. The best he could pull off was saying no to drugs and freezing a party of teenagers, post-credits, for a very lame public service announcement. Here it is with an asian translation over the original audio. Neither can top Dudley almost getting his corn creamed on "Diffr'ent Strokes".

For those of you in the dark, that last series featured an episode where Gordon Jump from "WKRP" played a child molester who seduced youngsters in the back of his bicycle shop. Disturbing content to be sure. Doubly troubling because another friendly sitcom face was the predator. Should I have expected any less? He was the "Big Guy" after all.

By the way R, PreppyGirl and I spent some of our visit with Monkey and Princess singing TV themes. It just so happens we compared the songs from "Growing Pains" to "Family Ties". Sha La La La!

It is Adrian Zmed day here at 23 Ohio Street. In the span of two hours I've seen him in "Bachelor Party" and "Grease 2". Maybe a "T.J. Hooker" marathon is coming up.

Snow Belt Pet Peeve of the Week - Pedestrians who refuse to walk on the sidewalks, even when they have been shoveled. Hey folks! I know it sucks when there is snow on the sidewalks, but you should head on down to Big Lots and buy a pair of cheap boots. Stop walking on the street! I don't drive on the sidewalk when there is snow on the road!

In sporting news, Kentucky lost again today. On a brighter note, first round games will be played in Buffalo in two weeks. Keeping my fingers crossed for the Wildcats to show. If Duke shows up R, I'll be sure to show my support! And by support, I mean flashing my jock strap at the Blue Devils! (As if PreppyGirl would let that happen.)

PGirl Jr. and Galoot Jr. have been full of beans this weekend. Luckily we've been able to keep them in check. PreppyGirl gets mad props for picking up some DVD's from the library. We watched "You, Me and Dupree" last night. It was just okay. Couldn't quite find what it wanted to be methinks.

Other than that, we've been hunkered down in the house, catching up on the Tivo shows. Hopefully there will be more to comment on this week. And for all you kind readers out there - Mick, Pops, Princess, Jenny, R, Monkey and some more - I've been lurking, but not commenting. Not enough time I'm afraid...

Wednesday, February 21, 2007

Chicago 13


Thirteen Things That Have Gone Down Since We Hit The Windy City

  1. White Castle burgers and fries.
  2. Free admission to the Brookfield Zoo with the family.
  3. T-Mobile's near monopoly on the various wi-fi spots in La Grange. I'm looking at you Starbucks and Borders! Thank you Caribou Coffee!
  4. Galoot Jr. running head-on into a display at the Museum of Science and Industry. Like a bird into a window. Sad but funny.
  5. PGirl Jr. puts deodorant on her hairless pits.
  6. PGirl gets a Coach purse courtesy of Mother Lee.
  7. Galoot gets sad when he reads about all the cool bands he'd love to see in Chicago over the next two months. Over 25. The saddest miss - The Pogues.
  8. Dragon Roll at a sushi joint on North Clark street.
  9. Jimmy McJamestown opining on the tragic flaw of Rerun from "Whats Happening". When secretly bootlegging a Doobie Brothers concert, he just has to dance, causing the recorder to fall out of his clothing.
  10. An insanely trafficky drive to Aurora on Wednesday night.
  11. PGirl's cousin's very nice condo.
  12. Favor8 and Amber joining us for dinner with Mr. and Mrs. McJamestown. I miss Smoky.
  13. A dead hamster at Aunt Mary's house.

Thursday, February 15, 2007

Fill In The Blanks

Snagged from Mr. Social:

Type in your name and wants, needs, should, will and believe into google. See what comes up!


Lenny wants to become the world’s greatest stand up comic.
Lenny wants to meet 9 people.
Lenny wants it back and he wants it back forever.

Lenny needs your jokes.
Lenny needs to grow some balls.
Lenny needs something to believe in.

Lenny should go to lectures 3 and 4.
Lenny should be doing it.
Lenny should have been in the boardroom.

Lenny will include a copy of his National Best Selling book.
Lenny will be lecturing on striper fishing.
Lenny will walk to a giant golden statue.

Lenny believes he has the solutions to everyone’s problems.
Lenny believes Teddy.
Lenny believes in small beginnings.


Wednesday, February 14, 2007

The Big Chill

Things That Sucked About The Snow Yesterday

  1. One of my neighbors parked his vehicle on our side of the street, causing the snowplow to avoid him and the front of our driveway which left a four foot wide, two feet deep pile of snow in front of my driveway.
  2. It took a long time to even use the snow thrower.
  3. The auger line was loosened by the extra work.
  4. I ranted about sending my neighbor any repair bills regarding my snow blower because he couldn't park his car in his own driveway.
  5. PGirl yelled at me for behaving like an ass.
Things That Sucked, Not Regarding The Snow Yesterday
  1. State funding that provided me with a job a couple of years ago, employs some friends and provides afterschool care for over 700 students in our city is being chopped out a year ahead of schedule.
  2. "Pardon The Interruption" wasn't on in favor of race car programming.
  3. Kentucky lost. (I'm waiting for your comment lawyer!)
  4. My back was really sore.
  5. The "Luann" comic strip.
Things That Were Cool Yesterday
  1. PGirl gave me a magazine subscription to Bon Appetit.
  2. The kiddoes liked their chocolate hearts and stuffed animals.
  3. My office had heat.

Sunday, February 11, 2007

Working For The Weekend

Saturday was busy. I coordinated a Mandalas workshop in the morning, an artist reception in the evening and the late show with the improv troupe at 10pm.

Due to a burst water pipe in our studio theater space, the workshop had to be moved into the gallery (which doubles as a conference space) from 9 am until 5pm. Not too many folks attended the workshop, but the presenter seemed content.

The artist reception went really well. Over 60 people attended and one piece sold in ten minutes. Not a small feat, considering that hardly any of the work we exhibit sells. With this particular artist, I had professional-looking posters (designed by my talented, high-school apprentice) and postcards made. My boss invited around 70 local business owners in the hope that some of the urban landscapes of the city would sell. Only one of those folks showed up, and he purchased a portrait early.

The artist (Matt Hall) sold another piece to his father. I'm pretty sure I made my advertising, postage and reception money back through the Arts Council's commission - which pleases me to no end. Most important, though, is that Matt has sold two of his paintings and a lot of folks were able to see his work! After my improv set, I came back to Forte restaurant to hang out with some of the gallery folk. There must have been 25 people in the bar area, most of them from the reception. Matt was happy with the turnout. He deserves it.

The improv show was interesting. Our founder, Eric and one of his Comedy Sportz cohort filled in for myself and another member in the early show and stuck around for the late show. It was cool to have 7 people on stage together. There was some roughness in the tone of the show, since our rhythms have changed since Eric moved to Buffalo. We managed a pretty good compromise and delivered a fun show.

All in all, a pretty good Saturday. The only missing element was P-Girl, who watched the kiddoes due to a lack of a babysitter (and my procrastination in securing one!)

Monday, February 05, 2007

Monday Mash Up

I don't have any particular thread of thought to share today. I will meander....

  1. Super Bowl Sunday was more relaxing than usual this year. I planned out my menu far ahead of time and bought the ingredients early as well. Most of the foods were easy to prepare and I spread the making of them out over two days.
  2. The game itself was kind of fun to watch in the first half. I drifted away from it after Prince. Half-time at our house was split between the purple one and a recording of "30 Rock" from last Thursday. Paul Reubens' character was classic!
  3. Favorite Commercial? Budweiser's "Rock, Paper, Scissors".
  4. From the "I Don't Get Their Appeal" Department (Some having nothing to do with Sunday or current trends). David Spade. He's a smarmy little shit and plays one on TV. And he needs to hold a mirror to himself the next time he wants to make fun of anyone. Heather Locklear is easily the most boring and bland actress on television in the last 20 years. She makes the secretary on "Northern Exposure" seem like Jim Carrey. Thankfully, some TV execs have seen past her fake blond hair and have stopped hiring her. Jimmy Fallon was an utter joke on his last couple of seasons on SNL. Don't blame the show here. The dude was unprofessional every time he cracked himself up during the show. I don't know where he is in relation to being back in the public eye - whereever that place may be is too close. He needs to go away.
  5. SNL's Digital Shorts continue to entertain. The low-impact aerobic workout spoof had a lot of funny little moments. ("Air").

Thursday, February 01, 2007

After our improv set in Jamestown last Saturday (documented by Mr. Social), the cast, PGirl and Princess headed over to the Wine Cellar for a night cap. Ian (one of the troupe) wanted to play electronic darts. Naturally I wanted some mood music, so I dropped some money on the digital jukebox. These new music machines charge a lot for their song plays, but you can find some obscure stuff. Ian beat me in both matches, but listening to these tunes was worth it. Plus, I had some extra birthday money too!

Ian and Galoot's Dart Match Playlist: A Thursd8
  1. "Marquee Moon" by Television. Great art-punk from the '70s. At over 10 minutes long, it has a lot of value.
  2. "Autobahn" by Kraftwerk. Another long player.
  3. "Graveyard Shift" by Uncle Tupelo. Loud, twangy and crunchy.
  4. "Genius of Love" by Tom Tom Club (played by Talking Heads). Good live version of the song. "Jaaaames. Browwwn. Jaaaames. Browwwn."
  5. "Take Me To The River" by Talking Heads. Another live version. Not so great when played upbeat.
  6. "My City Was Gone" by Pretenders. Same melody as the previous song, but much slower. "Hey, ho, way to go Ohio."
  7. "Guns of Brixton" by The Clash. Can't go wrong here.
  8. "Gas Face" by 3rd Bass. Uses a catchy sample from "Respect"

Thursday, January 25, 2007

And Many More From Channel Four

Today is my birthday. I'm 35 years old. No big whoop because age is just a number and I'm still able to pick my gray hairs out of my head every few months when they show up. Thank you Grandpa Gene for your genes!

Thirteen Memorable Galoot Birthdays

  1. 1990 - I came home Sunday night from a weekend at Kentucky Colonel's house. As soon as I walked in the front door my Saint Eileen (my mother) told me to go down to the den because the Organ Grinder (my stepfather) wanted to have a talk with me. I felt I must be in trouble for something. Bracing myself for the worst, I went down the stairs, only to find my closest high school friends waiting for me. Surprise!
  2. 1976 or 1977? I remember some uncles and aunts coming over to the house on Long Island. The memorable present was a "Star Trek" playset (the main deck of the Enterprise with a transporter room off to the left.)
  3. 1993 - My girlfriend and I had broken up that week and my Grandpa Ed died around the same time. I hid out from my fraternity brothers so they wouldn't drag me off to St. Louis for a birthday pub crawl. Two freshmen, who would soon pledge our fraternity, snuck a six pack up to my room and shared it with me. Good times.
  4. 1978 - New Jersey apartment. Don't remember the gifts, but I do remember disco dancing and pin the tail on the donkey!
  5. 1979 - Kentucky house on Arbor Court. Saint Eileen made a pan cake that was made to look like my basketball jersey. She made very good pan cakes.
  6. 1991 - I returned to Kentucky on my holiday break and threw a party for myself at Chuck E. Cheese. More good times!
  7. 2002 - My first birthday in Jamestown. I share this life event with the Mayor (my father-in-law) and the next day is Mr. Social (brother-in-law)'s. The whole fam damily went to Hultman's in Falconer to eat. Hultman's is a neat family-run restaurant that basically takes up the first floor of a house. Good eats!
  8. 1999 - My first birthday with PGirl.
  9. 2000 - My second birthday with PGirl. These last two are most special because they involved the two of us. No kids yet, beginning to plan our future together. Just the two of us.
  10. 2001 - I certainly enjoyed my birthday, but I was also anticipating the June birth of PGirl Jr.! A few months later we would see our first images of her during an after-hours, undercover visit to a hospital visit in Tennessee. Thanks to Sylvia's sister for sneaking us in!
  11. 1996 - It sucks to have to rehearse on Super Bowl Sunday. But I lived through it and made it to BradyBoone's apartment for his party. A woman I had been set up with by Boone's fiance brought a cake for me. We'd been on a few dates but nothing ever happened with her.
  12. 1995 - Another Super Bowl Sunday rehearsal. This time I went to my cousin Eddie's house to celebrate the game. Little fanfare for my b-day. That's cool.
  13. 1972 - I sprung forth from Saint Eileen's loins! Liberation!

Thursday, January 18, 2007

13 Things on My Blog From N to Z

N="Nosy", my second ever post.
O= Odiferous, my toots stink the most.
P=Preppygirl, who rings my bells.
R="R" - And you know what else?
S=Swayze is the man. He's like no other.
T=Tim, or the Mick. Galoot's little brother.
U=Uncle Tupelo, the world's greatest band.
V = Fourth letter in Pavement, a group that was grand.
W= "Whack", which describes my B-Boy son.
X= Making my porn name was fun!
Y = "Yes, And" An Improv Golden Rule, Which I Used This Past Yule...
Z = 3rd and 4th letters of Jazz, look at the pic and pick out the spaz!

Monday, January 15, 2007

Slaughter House 23

PGirl Junior called for me to come upstairs last night. Now, I'd been mentally preparing myself to watch two hours of the season premiere of "24" and was prepared for all manner of torture, explosions and other senseless violence (Jack delivered, too, by biting a man's throat out. Yes. He.Bit.It.Out. Lost Boy indeed!). Anyway, nothing could have prepared me for what I saw when I entered her room.


The ladybug bean bag's contents were off-limits to my daughter and son. They had been for some time. PGirl has encountered the bean bag injured before, but never so grievously. This was likely going to result in a funeral for our comfy furniture friend.

Our daughter had obviously called me up, because the original PGirl would have had a considerably more animated and angry response than me. I took it in stride. But then I actually looked at the culprit.


I had to stifle a laugh. PGirl came upstairs to look. I excused myself to use the potty, looking for relief from the oncoming storm. My wife was surprisingly calm, raising her voice over the vacuum cleaner motor to tell the kids to stop tracking bean bag guts around the house.

PGirl Jr. wasn't very remorseful. Please note the lint brush in her hands. I'm pretty sure she was more concerned with cleaning her clothes than with hiding the crime. My little attempted murderess would likely follow Martha Stewart's prison example.





In unrelated news, the kids are home with me today and I actually planned an activity with them. We made some chocolate chip cookies today. Enjoy the pics...

Wednesday, January 10, 2007

Hazy Shade of Winter

The snow finally arrived in Western New York this week.

Here are:

Thirteen Things That Happened On Hump Day

  1. Woke up to a two hour school delay.
  2. Used the snowblower for the second time this winter.
  3. Found out that the delay turned into a school closure.
  4. Emailed to my coworkers that I'd be working out of the home to watch PGirlJr. on her first snow day of 2007.
  5. Did some laundry.
  6. Did some work.
  7. Lost, then recovered the wireless signal from the home DSL line.
  8. Baked a frozen pizza for lunch and made popcorn for a snack.
  9. Cooked dinner at 2pm and stored in the fridge for later.
  10. Threw snowballs at the kids.
  11. Made snow angels with the kids.
  12. Took a call from an asshole telemarketer. I kid you not, this guy was along the lines of that infamous AOL service cancellation call that was featured on the Today show.
  13. Sat in my thermal underwear while typing this post.

Monday, January 08, 2007

Winter Wonderlands

I figured I might fire one off here during my desktop lunch.

Whether you are in warm or cold weather...

A few good movies that take place in winter:
  1. Wonder Boys
  2. Guarding Tess
  3. Uncle Buck
  4. Groundhog Day
  5. The Breakfast Club
Holiday Honorable Mention (For those of you who can still watch Christmas Movies in January and not get depressed.)
  1. Nobody's Fool (with Paul Newman)
  2. The Family Stone
  3. Just Friends

Friday, January 05, 2007

Guilt Trip

From a MySpace Bulletin. The taker is supposed to type in "guilty" or "innocent". I'm just going to answer the damn questions.

1. Dated outside your race?
Yes. Jamaican/Canadian.

2. Given a hickey?
I don't think so.

3. Dated your best friend?
I'll assume this means dating someone who started out as best friend. No.

4. Sung in the shower?
Not in some time.

5. Spit in someone's drink?
No.

6. Broke up with someone?
Yes.

7. Opened your Christmas presents early?
Yes.

8. Took a Christmas present back?
Yes.

9. Seen "The Goonies" more than 10 times?
Are you kidding? I own the special edition DVD!

10. Had more than five REAL bf/gF?
Yes.

11. Played a computer game for more than 5 hours?
In my younger days, yes.

12. Ran through the sprinklers?
What else would I do with one? Yes.

13. Ate food that fell on the floor?
Still do.

14. Went outside naked?
Boynton Beach.

15. Made out with your best friends bf/gf?
I've probably felt like it, but no.

16. Mooned somebody?
Yes.

17. Been on stage?
Over 100 times and counting.

18. Made someone cry?
Yes.

19. Been in a parade?
As a Boy Scout, on a classic TV Christmas character float and carrying a 150 pound teenager on my back.

20. Been in a school play.
Many.

21. Drank beer?
I love Yuengling and Southern Tier.

22. Gotten detention?
Once for making a crack in typing class about Ann Wilson's (of Heart) weight. Seriously.

23. Been on a plane?
Several times.

24. Been on a cruise?
No.

25. Broken into a house?
Only my own.

26. Gotten a tattoo?
My skin is as uninked as the day is long.

27. Gotten piercings?
They would hurt too much.

28. Cried so hard you threw up?
Flip that around and you get a yes.

29. Gotten into a shouting match?
A few times.

30. Been skinny dipping?
Boynton Beach.

31. Spun yourself in circles to get dizzy on purpose?
As a Boy Scout and in college.

32. Laughed so hard it hurt?
Yes. Those are special times.

33. Tripped on your own feet?
Weekly.

34. Cried yourself to sleep?
Not for several years.

35. Cried in public?
Check the wedding video.

36. Thrown up in public?
Behind a church west of Chicago. I wasn't drunk, though. Stomach flu.

37. Lied to your parents?
How high can you count?

38. Slept in class?
Tried it once.

39. Made out with someone and didn't talk to them the next day?
Not since college.

Saturday, December 30, 2006

Locutus? You dork!


PGirl had recently read that Jenny of Mama Drama had received a comment from Wil Wheaton when I walked by the computer desk. Mr. Wheaton made his bones as a child actor in “Stand By Me” and then joined the Star Trek universe as Wesley Crusher on “The Next Generation”. PGirl clicked on the author comment hyperlink and was taken to Wheaton’s blog. I glanced at the screen and continued to putter around the dining room. She began to read his latest post which had a link to a photo of a moving truck with the company name “Borg” on it. She read the caption, "Thank you for calling the Borg. This is Locutus. Shall we assimilate a home or a business for you today?", pronouncing one word as “Lock-uh-tus”. Immediately, a long dormant geek-correction device was triggered inside of me. I replied to her, “Low-cute-us. It’s pronounced Low-cute-us.” And then I continued to putter. PGirl scrunched her face up and pushed an imaginary pair of geek glasses onto her nose. Whatever.

Thursday, December 28, 2006

Holding Back The Year

What did I do this year? Stolen from R and Princess.

1. What did you do in 2006 that you’d never done before? Danced in a ballet.

2. Did you keep your New Year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year? I try and make resolutions all year. I'll continue to do so this year.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth? Scarface (from my fantasy football league) and his wife had a little girl. PGirl Jr's Godparents had a girl too.

4. What would you like to have in 2007 that you lacked in 2006? Mo' money. Fewer problems.

5. What memories from 2006 will remain etched in your mind, and why? PGirl's new hairdo'. PGirl Jr. dancing in a recital. Galoot Jr. singing as his alter-ego, Pedro.

6. What was your biggest achievement of the year? Being home more during the second half of the year and taking a musical to Scotland. Getting a cool job in a non-profit.

7. What was your biggest failure? Keeping a pretty cool job in teaching. Failing to get out a holiday video to the family.

8. What was the best thing you bought? New knives for the kitchen. Gift certificate for Panache for PGirl.

9. Whose behavior merited celebration? PGirl's. She consistently sets a good parenting example for me and doesn't let me slide on my own behavior.

10. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed? Though I've had fewer blowouts this year, I still regret them.

11. Where did most of your money go? House and daycare.

12. What did you get really, really, really excited about? The holidays as usual.

13. Compared to this time last year, are you: a) happier or sadder? b) thinner or fatter? c) richer or poorer? Happier, same weight, poorer.

Wednesday, December 27, 2006

Who Can It Be Now?

I get a lot of junk mail on my work email. Here is a sample of what I received today and my fantasized replies:

From Basil Raube:
Subject: piscivorou


Restless, give them that. When you get down to it there isn't much joy.

To: Basil
From: Galoot


Piscivorou? I assume that is French for "Pisces for you!". No thanks. I saw one of their horoscopes on Christmas Day and it looked like those folks were in for a horrible holiday.

-------------------

From: Beth Zink
Subject: Drille = pronounce


Amount of trepidation. Stuck my finger into my ear and said, I hope...

To: Beth
From: Galoo
t

I would pronounce that "Dreel." As in "Eef you do not geeve me the eenformation I need, I weel dreel your eyeballs out!" And don't stick your finger into anyone's ear. That's just gross. No wonder your feeling some trepidation.

Thursday, December 21, 2006

Ohio Street Music

My work computer's speakers are spazzing out on me. I've decided to turn lemons into a new blog...

Ohio Street Music

Join me as I revisit old tunes and (sometimes) the old homes, old stories and old flames that are evoked on this musical journey.

Wednesday, December 20, 2006

Memories Light The Corners of My Eyes

My Thirteen Favorite Christmases

  1. 2006 - A new gas fireplace insert, a cool-ass job, 4 days off with the family. Who could ask for anything more?
  2. 1999 - The first true Christmas spent with PGirl. Enough said.
  3. 2001/2003 - Tie for first Christmases with PGirl Jr. and Galoot Jr.
  4. 1985 - Dad worked for the company which owned "Children's Palace/Child World" toy stores, so he often got things before they hit the market. This year he brought home a Nintendo game system. Stepbro Allen and I played Super Mario Brothers for 12 hours straight. Nothing quite like headaches and sore thumbs.
  5. 1986 - Santa brought me my first stereo and "Led Zeppelin 2" on cassette. "Whole Lotta Love" sounds really cool on headphones.
  6. 1971 - My mom was one month away from birthing me. Oh the joy I would bring to her...
  7. 1996 - My first Christmas without any of my family. I skipped church, slept in and opened presents under my television set while on the phone with Mom.
  8. 1992 - Before the Christmas break, my dorm wing won a pizza party for best hallway decorations. Also, the last Christmas spent with my Grandfather Ed.
  9. 1990 - I visited Omaha with my girlfriend before flying home for the rest of the holiday. We saw "Edward Scissorhands" at the mall cinemas.
  10. 1977 - My first "Star Wars" action figures finally arrived.
  11. 1997 - Downside - my Grandfather Asa died. Upside - our family grew tighter.
  12. 1993? - Not sure here. But I'm pretty certain I spent New Years at Sugie Proctor's dad's apartment in Harrisburg and Tom McNamara streaked through the parking lot.
  13. 2005 - The clan headed down to Kentucky. PGirl, Sobermick, Mrs. Sobermick and myself watched the Bills hand the Bengals their asses on Christmas Eve! Highlight: Sobermick causing a guy in the parking lot to get so angry that the other dude hit the car in front of him. Lowlight: Redneck fanfight in the middle of the street, blocks from the stadium.

Friday, December 15, 2006

Dumb Show

I'm not referring to "The Nutcracker" itself in this title, but rather a pantomime and gibberish combination used by actors who have no dialogue. As you may or may not know, I am appearing in a local production of this ballet as the father of Clara, the little girl who goes on the adventure within the story. During the opening party scene, all of us have to act as if we're socializing, even though there is no dialogue. Many of the particpants just move their lips and make gestures. I do not subscribe to that theory of dumb show. Since the music is loud and the audience can't hear me, I speak to the others on stage. Today I present to you:

15 Things I've Said To The Other Actors On Stage

  1. "Please do something about your wife. She is an embarrassment."
  2. "He gets it from your side of the family."
  3. "Do you know how much this party cost me? Guess. $100."
  4. "I don't get it. Every time the boy sees Clara's nutcracker, he goes berserk."
  5. "I'm glad Drosselmeyer gave him a toy horse to play with. Fritz killed his real pony."
  6. "Seriously. Do something about your wife."
  7. "Drosselmeyer gave flowers to my wife. I think something's going on with those two."
  8. "You think he's too old for my wife? Hell, I'm too old for my wife."
  9. "Yes, the people in the box are from China. That is the box they came in. I don't even know if they're still alive in there."
  10. "It does smell, but we just burn incense."
  11. "What is in your hair?"
  12. "I think Grandma is blitzed."
  13. "You know what I do when Fritz gets out of line? I just smack him."
  14. "I wish they would invent cars already. Then we could buy him car toys and he'd stop breaking his sister's toys."
  15. "And don't go off fighting rat armies after bed time."

Thursday, December 07, 2006

Glorious Food

Stolen from the Kentucky Colonel:

Thirteen of My Favorite Places To Eat:

  1. Stringtown Restaurant/Florence, Kentucky - Best biscuits and gravy.
  2. Muddy Waters/Deerfield Beach, Florida - Outstanding beer selection. Ridiculously affordable Caribbean Cuisine.
  3. Angela's/Islip, New York - Thin crust, oily, floppy pizza.
  4. The Pub/Jamestown, New York - Best sandwich selection in a bar.
  5. Sumo/Deerfield Beach, Florida - Hole in the wall, Mom and Pop sushi. Volcano Roll!
  6. Skyline Chili/Greater Cincinnati - Coney Islands and 3-Ways abound.
  7. Golden China/Erlanger, Kentucky - My first Chinese buffet.
  8. Blue Heaven/Key West, Florida - An old brothel, chicks and cats running underfoot, gourmet breakfast foods and alcholic drinks all before Noon.
  9. Shakespeare's Pizza/Columbia, Missouri - A truly unique pie. If New York Style is on one pole and Chicago Style is on another, this one sits squarely in the middle.
  10. Forte/Jamestown, New York - An ever evolving menu and the best staff in town.
  11. McMillan's Cafe/Fayette, Missouri - The only food they made there was a burger that was pressed on a pre-George Foreman style grill. Best with raw onions.
  12. Aldo's/Jamestown, New York - Good diner food any time of the day or night.
  13. Southport Raw Bar /Ft. Lauderdale, Florida - Head to the stainless steel bar at the back of the place. Ask for Big Al, a beer and Old Bay Shrimp.

Friday, December 01, 2006

Friday The 1st - Felt Like A Thirteen

What a day!

Several Things That Could Have Destroyed A Happy Day, (And Why They Didn't...)
  1. The dog got away from me before our morning walk. (He came back.)
  2. My son wasn't listening to me again this morning. I yelled at him. (I apologized. I think he forgave me.)
  3. Nasty weather had the potential to wreak havoc on my family in Kentucky. (So far, still safe.)
  4. The holiday parade was postponed because of weather. (Gave me an excuse to republish my online newsletter - which had some errors in it the first time around - in order to reflect schedule changes for a few events.)
  5. I had to leave work to free my father-in-law from his attic which led to....
.....6. Missing a 1pm meeting for the second time in two weeks with the same guy. (Father-In-Law accessed the attic from a ladder on the side of his house - ladder blew over- FIL finished insulating before calling PGirl - PGirl called me to help him. Meeting guy was very understanding and wouldn't have known about the movie cancellation at our venue tonight - due to the weather cancellation of the holiday parade - if I hadn't called him to apologize for missing the meeting in the first place!)

7. Could not send out press release with photos attached. (Shrunk photos down to fit.)
8. Office chair keeps descending. (Still isn't all the way fixed, but is better.)
9. Parade Postponement part 2 (Get to finish decorating tree with family tonight!)

Thursday, November 23, 2006

We've Only Just Begun

When I was growing up, the Friday morning after Thanksgiving always found my mother following the same routine. First she'd put on an 8 track of the Nat King Cole Christmas album, then the decorations would begin to go up. I eventually bought her a cassette of the album, but not a CD. I should burn a copy of ours for her...

I love holiday tunes and I'd like to share with you, my perfect holiday mix:

1. The Christmas Song by Nat King Cole - As soon as those strings come in, you know the season has started.
2. Happy Holidays by Peggy Lee - Jazzy and bouncy.
3. Most Wonderful Time of the Year by Andy Williams - I'm a sucker for his old Christmas specials back when Donny Osmond and his brothers had more teeth than hair.
4. Christmas In Hollis by Run D.M.C. - A kick ass refrain - "Rhymes so loud and proud you hear it! It's Christmas time and we've got the spirit!"
5. Jingle Bell Rock by Brenda Lee - The Hall and Oates version is pretty good too.
6. Fairytale of New York - by The Pogues and Kirsty Maccoll. Darkly humorous (He: "You're an old slut on junk. Lying there almost dead on a drip in that bed." She - "You scumbag you maggot, you cheap lousy faggot. Happy Christmas your arse, I pray God it's our last!") and tear-jerking (She - "You took my dreams from me, when I first found you." He - "I kept them with me babe, and put them with my own. Can't make it all alone, I've built my dreams around you.")
7. Happy Christmas (War Is Over) by John Lennon and "Wonderful Christmas Time" by Paul McCartney. Imagine what kind of Christmas music they could have done together.
8. "White Christmas" by Etta James. If Bing was the king with his version, Etta is certainly the queen. Her's is underlaid by heavy, downbeat blues and her prologue about being in L.A. instead of the north is a great start.
9. Little Drummer Boy/Peace On Earth by David Bowie and Bing Crosby. Such a strange but beautiful collaboration. The first time I saw the video, I thought, WTF!

Wednesday, November 22, 2006

Stars In My Eyes

Because I'm bored at work...

Thirteen Roles I've Played On Stage And Thirteen Actors Who Played Them More Famously!

1. Scapino in "Scapino" - My first college role. Jim Dale (of "Harry Potter" audio book fame) played him in an early production.
2. Gandalf in "The Hobbit" - My first acting role in grade 8. Ian McKellen edges me out.
3. Falstaff in "Merry Wives Of Windsor" - Kevin Kline played him in one of the "Henry" plays in New York recently.
4. Alan Baker in "Come Blow Your Horn" - My first professional show. The Chairman of The Board - Frank Sinatra - played him on the silver screen.
5. Father Rivard in "The Runner Stumbles" - Played by Dick Van Dyke. In a TV movie no less!
6. Milt Manville in "Luv" - Take away a foot of height and one eye, add a trench coat and a beat-up car, what do you get? Yes, Peter Falk.
7. Joseph Smith in "Homage That Follows" - Bruce Davison (from X-Men) on the big screen.
8. Jacques in "As You Like It" - Kevin Kline again.
9. Dr. Gibbs in "Our Town" - Rudy's pop, Ned Beatty.
10. Pozzo in "Waiting For Godot" - The original Black Adder's papa, Brian Blessed.
11. Juror #11 in "12 Angry Men" - In 1997, Lt. Castillo himself, Edward James Olmos.
12. Herb in "Summertree" - The unsinkable Jack Warden.
13. Captain Keller in "The Miracle Worker" - Character actor, David Straitharn played him on TV a few years back.

Happy Turkey Day!

Thursday, November 16, 2006

Talking Turkey

As everyone will likely be busy next Thursday, I'd like to post...

Thirteen Things I Like To Do On And Around Thanksgiving

1. Hang with the family.
2. Buy something at one of the few stores that is open. It is fun when they're almost empty of customers!
3. Watch Jodie Foster's "Home For The Holidays" on DVD. It is a but-gusting look at a family gathering on Turkey Day.
4. Catch some of the Macy's Parade.
5. Watch "Charlie Brown" Thanksgiving.
6. Try to get a look at some of the old "Friends" Thanksgiving episodes. "It tastes like feet!"
7. Not have to be anywhere except where my dinner is.
8. Watch an NFL game. Three this year with the addition of the NFL Network matchup!
9. Eat stuffing. Eat apple pie. Eat turkey. Drink wine.
10. Fall asleep somewhere other than my bed. Preferably with one of the kids or my wife sleeping on my shoulder.
11. Mentally prep for putting up the Christmas lights.
12. Watch Food Network's "Thanksgiving Unwrapped" and "The Secret History of Thanksgiving" and "Good Eats - Turkey". Rachael Ray's 30 Minute Thanksgiving gets honorable mention.
13. Plot of "The Very Barry Christmas DVD".

Tuesday, November 14, 2006

Agony of The Feet

As many of you know, PGirl's parallel sister, Princess is staying with us this weekend. He daughter and son have come along too and we're having a grand time.

Last night, PGirl hosted a "Body Shop" party for Princess. The only folks who showed up were Mr. Social, Mrs. Social and a gal from PGirl's place of work. I made feta garlic dip, bean dip and bruschetta. The ladies brought some wine home along with the groceries.

Mr. Social's daughter brought the kiddoe total to 5 and the two men were tasked with buying happy meals for shorty dinner. I figured that when we got back, the two of us would play with the kids and keep them away from the party. I was wrong.

Upon my return, I found the kids corraled into the back room.


In the living room, there were plastic basins filled with warm water. Five were ready for fresh feet, yet there were only 3 women who were there to be soaked. Princess doesn't count because she coordinates the whole affair. The extra basins were meant for myself and Mr. Social.

So, we did what any red-blooded, straight, American husbands would do to show our power over our wives.

We rolled up our jeans and took the plunge.

Mr. Social made a very good analogy. A Body Shop party is a lot like getting fleeced by a con-artist in the movies. The mark is led into a compromising situation where he is unclothed, tied up and ready to party. When it looks like the fun stuff is going to begin, the con takes the clothes and the guy's wallet and beats it out of there. The only differences are you lose your shoes here and you part with your money more willingly.

All kidding aside, it was pretty cool to get the foot treatment. After the lotion rub down, Mr. Social and I were sent from the room to watch the kids. I can only assume that this is the point in the evening where money changes hands.



Sunday, November 12, 2006

Jacksonville

Please, please, please watch this performance!

"Jacksonville"


I saw Sufjan Stevens' on Austin City Limits last weekend and I can't get the damn song out of my head. Granted, the butterfly wings were kind of intriguing, visually. But I really like the strings and horns in it. Apparently he's released two albums about states with songs about famous people or incidents from each.
"Jacksonville" is about Helen Keller.

There's some other footage out there where the whole band is decked out in gear like this:


I'm curious about what y'all think about this dude...

Wednesday, November 08, 2006

Photograph


Yes, this is me.

A few weeks ago, a reporter from our local paper came by to talk about my new job. She told me the article would be out last Wednesday. I fully expected it to be tucked away by the crosswords and comics. By yesterday morning, it still had not come out. Then I got a call from the paper's photographer, wanting to take a picture. She came down to the office and snapped this lovely shot.

I think the headline should read "New Face At The Arts Council Is Looking Good....."

Sunday, November 05, 2006

Dancing Machine

Several weeks ago, I took PGirl Jr. to her ballet class. As I waited in the reception area, the new director of the company began chatting with me. We work with each other occassionally through my new job, so we had some business to discuss. After a few minutes of this kind of talk, she asked me if I wanted to be in "The Nutcracker". I've done a bit of theater in my time and have studied acting for 16 years, so I figured she wanted me for some background work. We theatre-types call this "dumb show". Having seen the ballet a couple of times, I knew there were some small parts in the party scene. I bit.

Me: "Do you need me to play a butler or servant or something?"

She: "You'd play the host."

I begin to sweat, having never danced in a show, ever.

Me: "That's not the guy who brings the girl the nutcracker, is it?"

She: "No. He's the father of the little girl who is the center of the show."

Relief.

Me: "I'll do it."

She: "Good."

Me: "So I stand around with other adults and pretend to have a good time?"

She: "Yes. And you dance."

Panic.

Me: "Oh. Do I have to buy a dance belt?"

I didn't have to buy one.

I've been rehearsing on Sundays for almost a month now. The artistic director, not a dyed-in-the-wool football fan, has scheduled most of the rehearsals during the Bills games. But I've survived so far.

I know how to do a cross step now and the people who play my wife and daughter answer my questions when I have them. There have been two kids who've played my son so far. I think the one I worked with today is the real one. I'm even having fun with the "dumb-show". When the other "party parents" greet my character in a reception line, I shake the men's hands and say things like, "Glad you could come to the party old-chum!" and "You still owe me money Roscoe!"

Last week's rehearsal kind of rough. I smacked a girl in the head with my watch and a kid who I had to stand behind smelled vaguely poopy, but I get that every week in my own house.

Anyway, I have to wrap this up and get ready for bed. A dancer needs his rest.

Wednesday, November 01, 2006

Reeling In The Years

So, an old fraternity brother of mine contacted last week through email. We talked on the phone on Wednesday night for almost an hour, catching up - thanks for calling Drew! In honor of nostalgia, I present to you...

Thirteen Things About My Fraternity

1. The fraternity was called Delta Sigma Psi.
2. A year or so ago, it became a chapter of the Tekes National fraternity.
3. We had a diverse bunch of guys when I was in there. None of the other Greeks could pigeonhole us or stereotype us.
4. One of my brothers - Dino English - is a drummer for the Dark Star Orchestra - A Grateful Dead tribute band that tours nationally.
5. I held three positions in my time with the fraternity - Alumni Affairs, Pledge Captain and President.
6. Brother Drew was president before me.
7. My presidency was successful for making the fraternity a lot of money (We saved money my waiting to drink at our own parties until the last hour.)
8. My presidency was unsuccessful because we gained very few pledges during my senior year.
9. Our pledging period only lasted a week.
10. We had it easy compared to some of the other fraternity pledges who had to march around a clock tower for several hours at a time and carry around bricks in their sweatshirts - don't ask, because I don't know.
11. About the worst thing that I endured was losing some sleep and some slight psychological torture.
12. I unintentionally made some brothers laugh during a particularly solemn ceremony during pledge week. This "incident" earned me a nickname for a brief time among them. I wish I could name it here, but I can't. It is a very Greek name though.
13. This year marks the 45th anniversary of Delta Sigma Psi. We've reached middle age!