Saturday, September 30, 2006

What's Your Name?

When PGirl and I lived in Florida, our friends were spread out around Broward and Palm Beach County. Occassionally someone would move and I'd have to write down new directions to their house or apartment. I wasn't into Mapquest, so I'd usually jot down my notes onto a sheet of paper or a notepad. Many things I needed to remember made it onto small pieces of paper.

One day, I found a post-it note with two names written on it:

Lefton Crest

Ron Highridge

For the life of me, I did not recognize who these people were. I racked my brain and could not recall their faces. When P-Girl came home, I asked if she knew who they were. She looked at me like I was crazy and asked me why I wanted to know. I showed her the piece of paper.

She frowned, shook her add and said, "These are driving directions to Susan's house." In my haste I had scribbled the directions down without proper spacing.

Lefton Crest = Left on Crest

Ron Highridge = R on Highridge or Right on Highridge.


I felt like a total ass.

A few months later I found a rough draft of our wedding invitation list that PGirl had written. One name was unfamiliar to me.

Clive Nickel

Sounded British to me. Again, I was misreading the note. PGirl had a German friend named Uwe Nickel. For some reason, Uwe looked like Clive to me.

I've since put the names in a notebook to use as characters some day.

And while I'm at it, I've heard of many variations of figuring out your pornstar and drag queen names. My favorite is:

Middle Name + Name of first street you lived on = Porn Name.

If this is the case then my porn name is Anthony Bonaparte.

Bonaparte was the street I lived on in Long Island. If I used the street I grew up on, my name would be Anthony Arbor.

I like them both.

8 comments:

Dan'l Boone said...

This is funny. You have good names. I grew up on a corner so mine is either Robert Pennsylvania or Robert Church. Not great names. Even now I live on the corner of Walnut and Center Streets. Maybe Bob Center would work as a gay porn name?! Clive Nickel could definately be a drug dealer. You should use him in an improve skit about a drug dealer.

princess slea said...

my porn name is "Lea Warren", I think she sounds classy.

I had NO DOUBT that pgirl would know what the names on the paper were.

princess slea said...

MonkeyBrigade says it's "your first pet's name plus the street you grew up on" in which case his porn name is "Shotzie Waters" (and mine would be "misty warren" which I think you could use either of those names for future improv characters as well)

-R- said...

I mentioned before on my blog that I would be Mandy Kociemba (with first pet's name + street). My middle name + street name is not as good, unfortunately. Tony Bonaparte sounds kind of like a mobster.

Galoot said...

If I used Monkey B's formula, I would be Storm Bonaparte.

TheMick said...

No fun for me where ever it says anthony sub in andrew

PreppyGirl said...

Mine would be "Lee Colfax." With MonkeyB's formula, "Daisy Colfax."

I was racking my brain too yesterday trying to remember a name like this. I was at work and someone had written down two random words on a sticky note which I then came across. When I saw the note it totally reminded me of the whole Ron/Lefton incident, but this happened so long ago, I simply couldn't remember what it was. As luck would have it, I found the note in my desk drawer today:

Kirk Picasso

Sweet.

Stinkypaw said...

With the pet: Miquet Vinet

With middle name: Louise Vinet

The first one just sound weird (even in French!) and the second one almost sounds like a school teacher or something... yuk!