Is you is? Or is you ain't?

I’ve split my thirteen into two parts today:

7 entertainments I’m supposed to like, but don’t.

6 entertainments I’m not supposed to like, but do.

Don’ts

1. “Boondock Saints”This film turned me off when I first read the title. It seemed to try to rip off “Reservoir Dogs”. It has recently been reissued in a special edition, and the photo in the ad of two guys with wrap-around shades, lighting their cigarettes did not appeal to me. Willem Dafoe as a gay lawman? Why? Is having him call a lover a “fag” supposed to be ironic? No thanks. Not my kind of humor. Not that there’s anything wrong with that…

2. “Poolhall Junkies”Yet another title turn-off.

3. “Clerks”/”Dogma”Okay, I really enjoyed “Clerks” when it first came out. But each subsequent viewing shows the cracks. Unfortunately, Kevin Smith still writes very awkward dialogue and frames his shots without any sense of style. “Dogma” was supposed to be edgy and make me, as a Catholic, jump back in horror. It was painful to watch someone try so hard to be controversial.

4. “Napolean Dynamite”Jared Hess had some potential to make a quirky movie. But, dressing people in dated clothes and having them give zombie-like line readings does not make a film absurd.

5. “Punk’d”I can’t stand watching Ashton Kutcher hog up so much screen time speaking to three studio cameras in his manic style. The only bright spot: exposing some “celebrities” for the spoiled, self-centered, fake brats they really are. Travis Barker – I’m calling you out! Poseur Mohawk and all!

6. “Survivor”Why do we reward people for treating each other like crap?

7. “MadTV”No. No. No. The middle ground between the highs of “In Living Color” and the lows of “All That”. A lot of talented improv comedians have gone through their ranks. I’ve done bad work for money too. And what the hell is up with their actors making fun of “Saturday Night Live”. I’ve seen it done on the show and heard it said on talk shows. “MadTV” would not exist if not for “SNL”.

Do’s

1. “Road House”
I don’t need to say any more on this one.

2. Andy Dick
By all accounts, he’s supposed to be a raging egomaniac. But I’ve been entertained by both of his MTV shows.

3. Half of “Family Guy”Most of the flashbacks are unimaginative. But I love the audacity of some of the plot lines.

4. “The Today Show”If I’m motivated enough to be awake by 7am, this is the first thing I see on the tube. Breaking news, fashion and concerts in the plaza!

5. Music Downloads
I believe that if you’re going to listen to an artist, you should buy the whole album. Too many people turn up their noses at the start of a song because they’re not familiar with it. However, ITunes is very attractive…

6. PC’s and Macs
I love both of them. I am firmly on the fence.

Leftovers

Princess appropriated this from Stinkypaw. It is too good to pass on. Pick one recording artist or group you like and answer the following questions with their song titles. I was really anal and tried to pick only songs The Bottle Rockets had written and no covers. Enjoy!

1. Are you male or female? Man of Constant Anxiety
2. Describe yourself. Every Kinda Everything
3. How do some people feel about you? Mountain To Climb
4. How do you feel about yourself? Perfect Far Away
5. Describe your "ex". Gas Girl
6. Describe your current significant other. Queen of the World
7. Describe where you want to be. I Wanna Come Home
8. Describe how you live. 24 Hours A Day
9. Describe how you love. Love Like A Truck/I’ll Be Coming Around
10. What would you ask for if you had a wish? Coffee Monkey
11. Share a few words of wisdom. Take Me To The Bank
12. Now say goodbye. The Bar’s On Fire

Short Sharp Shocked

The hot months are upon us now and with that comes some new styling and profiling. Among my newest fashion acquisitions are:


The Clooney Cut
Marty at Salon 1 whipped out the clippers a couple of weeks ago and laid waste to my hair. While it is easy to manage, I have a nasty cowlick that'll take a couple of weeks to get a handle on. Also, my face is big and really short hairstyles can accentuate it further. Once the mane has grown for another week, it will be the perfect length.

The Right Trousers
Pants are really difficult for me to find. Most normal retailers think that men with 42" waists don't have legs longer than 30". Big and tall stores think that tall men love farmers jeans and poly blends. Online is the way to go. The best jeans and khakis I've gotten in the last 3 years have come from Gap and Old Navy online. And thanks to Galoot Sr. (who worked for the Gap in the seventies and whose wife has been with Gap since 1969) I'm the proud owner of some loose fitting khakis. I kid you not, these are all I've been wearing for two weeks at work. I love them.

Sunglasses at Night
Big head = wide glasses. My new specs came in. Plastic frames...honey colored...and transitional lenses! Yes, I've finally become that kid I wanted to tell off in grade school. You know who I'm talking about. The one whose glasses always seemed to be sunglasses indoors. He thought he was so cool. But, no, his eyes were just light sensitive. Now I have a pair. Luckily, they don't seem to go too dark indoors. Just in case, if you want to fight with me because of them, please allow me to take them off first.

Ten Years Gone

After breakfast this morning, while the kids played, Pgirl and I alternately read the newspaper and watched a movie on the Independent Film Channel. "Walking and Talking", stars Anne Heche and Catherine Keener as two women in NYC who are preparing for one of their weddings. The soundtrack featured a few songs from albums that I owned. The film came out in 1996 and it set me to thinking about that year - which was a big one for me. So I have put a CD on from that year (Joe Henry’s “Trampoline”) to set the mood. Feel free to appropriate this...

A Decade Ago

1. Where were you living? A two bedroom rental house in Lake Worth, Florida. I split the rent with my grad school roommate, Megan. Some kids broke into the house and robbed it a few weeks into our lease.
2. What type of work were you doing? Lots of stuff. I stopped working at Liberties Book Store in Boca Raton and began working at Borders Books and Music in Boynton Beach. I also built a set for “Bye, Bye Birdie” and got my first professional acting job in “Come Blow Your Horn”.
3. What kind of vehicle did you drive? 1993 Toyota pickup truck. It had no model name, though it eventually became the Tacoma. The official color was Forest Green, but my wife insists it was gray. Some friends of mine dubbed it “Truck”.
4. What were your hobbies? I began mountain biking at some parks in Broward county. There weren’t any mountains in South Florida, but there were some pretty cool trails.
5. Which movies stick out in your mind? “Independence Day” and “The Rock”. Both were really crappy movies that stole liberally from previous blockbusters. I saw “ID4” twice in the theater – the second time because our power went out in the house and we needed to sit in some air conditioning. Unfortunately, “The Rock” helped give Michael Bay a career.
6. What music did you listen to? I listened to Beck’s “Odelay” a lot. Syd Straw had a pretty good record out that year.
7. What was your favorite television program? The “X-Files” was really hitting its stride. “The Simpsons” ruled. I think “The Daily Show” debuted that year too.
8. Were you dating anyone? I spent most of the 1st half of the year with a woman who was my first serious adult relationship. It ended badly with her knowing it was over well before I did. I was pathetic during our last time out together. It wasn’t a date, but more of a group thing that involved a Sting/Natalie Merchant concert, a lot of beer and a lot of moping by me. After a short, but agonizing depression, I rocketed into my “Bastard Period” for several months.
9. What do you remember from the news? The Olympic bomber in Atlanta. Kentucky winning the NCAA tournament. Clinton getting re-elected.
10. What was a memorable experience you had? A four day period in November which started with me fooling around with an actress from my first play and ended up with me fooling around with one of the managers at Borders. Both dalliances ended amicably and I began to believe in my dating abilities once again.