I get a lot of junk mail on my work email. Here is a sample of what I received today and my fantasized replies:
From Basil Raube:
Restless, give them that. When you get down to it there isn't much joy.
Piscivorou? I assume that is French for "Pisces for you!". No thanks. I saw one of their horoscopes on Christmas Day and it looked like those folks were in for a horrible holiday.
From: Beth Zink
Subject: Drille = pronounce
Amount of trepidation. Stuck my finger into my ear and said, I hope...
I would pronounce that "Dreel." As in "Eef you do not geeve me the eenformation I need, I weel dreel your eyeballs out!" And don't stick your finger into anyone's ear. That's just gross. No wonder your feeling some trepidation.