Locutus? You dork!

PGirl had recently read that Jenny of Mama Drama had received a comment from Wil Wheaton when I walked by the computer desk. Mr. Wheaton made his bones as a child actor in “Stand By Me” and then joined the Star Trek universe as Wesley Crusher on “The Next Generation”. PGirl clicked on the author comment hyperlink and was taken to Wheaton’s blog. I glanced at the screen and continued to putter around the dining room. She began to read his latest post which had a link to a photo of a moving truck with the company name “Borg” on it. She read the caption, "Thank you for calling the Borg. This is Locutus. Shall we assimilate a home or a business for you today?", pronouncing one word as “Lock-uh-tus”. Immediately, a long dormant geek-correction device was triggered inside of me. I replied to her, “Low-cute-us. It’s pronounced Low-cute-us.” And then I continued to putter. PGirl scrunched her face up and pushed an imaginary pair of geek glasses onto her nose. Whatever.

Holding Back The Year

What did I do this year? Stolen from R and Princess.

1. What did you do in 2006 that you’d never done before? Danced in a ballet.

2. Did you keep your New Year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year? I try and make resolutions all year. I'll continue to do so this year.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth? Scarface (from my fantasy football league) and his wife had a little girl. PGirl Jr's Godparents had a girl too.

4. What would you like to have in 2007 that you lacked in 2006? Mo' money. Fewer problems.

5. What memories from 2006 will remain etched in your mind, and why? PGirl's new hairdo'. PGirl Jr. dancing in a recital. Galoot Jr. singing as his alter-ego, Pedro.

6. What was your biggest achievement of the year? Being home more during the second half of the year and taking a musical to Scotland. Getting a cool job in a non-profit.

7. What was your biggest failure? Keeping a pretty cool job in teaching. Failing to get out a holiday video to the family.

8. What was the best thing you bought? New knives for the kitchen. Gift certificate for Panache for PGirl.

9. Whose behavior merited celebration? PGirl's. She consistently sets a good parenting example for me and doesn't let me slide on my own behavior.

10. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed? Though I've had fewer blowouts this year, I still regret them.

11. Where did most of your money go? House and daycare.

12. What did you get really, really, really excited about? The holidays as usual.

13. Compared to this time last year, are you: a) happier or sadder? b) thinner or fatter? c) richer or poorer? Happier, same weight, poorer.

Who Can It Be Now?

I get a lot of junk mail on my work email. Here is a sample of what I received today and my fantasized replies:

From Basil Raube:
Subject: piscivorou

Restless, give them that. When you get down to it there isn't much joy.

To: Basil
From: Galoot

Piscivorou? I assume that is French for "Pisces for you!". No thanks. I saw one of their horoscopes on Christmas Day and it looked like those folks were in for a horrible holiday.

-------------------

From: Beth Zink
Subject: Drille = pronounce

Amount of trepidation. Stuck my finger into my ear and said, I hope...

To: Beth
From: Galoot

I would pronounce that "Dreel." As in "Eef you do not geeve me the eenformation I need, I weel dreel your eyeballs out!" And don't stick your finger into anyone's ear. That's just gross. No wonder your feeling some trepidation.

Ohio Street Music

My work computer's speakers are spazzing out on me. I've decided to turn lemons into a new blog...

Ohio Street Music

Join me as I revisit old tunes and (sometimes) the old homes, old stories and old flames that are evoked on this musical journey.

Memories Light The Corners of My Eyes

My Thirteen Favorite Christmases

1. 2006 - A new gas fireplace insert, a cool-ass job, 4 days off with the family. Who could ask for anything more?
2. 1999 - The first true Christmas spent with PGirl. Enough said.
3. 2001/2003 - Tie for first Christmases with PGirl Jr. and Galoot Jr.
4. 1985 - Dad worked for the company which owned "Children's Palace/Child World" toy stores, so he often got things before they hit the market. This year he brought home a Nintendo game system. Stepbro Allen and I played Super Mario Brothers for 12 hours straight. Nothing quite like headaches and sore thumbs.
5. 1986 - Santa brought me my first stereo and "Led Zeppelin 2" on cassette. "Whole Lotta Love" sounds really cool on headphones.
6. 1971 - My mom was one month away from birthing me. Oh the joy I would bring to her...
7. 1996 - My first Christmas without any of my family. I skipped church, slept in and opened presents under my television set while on the phone with Mom.
8. 1992 - Before the Christmas break, my dorm wing won a pizza party for best hallway decorations. Also, the last Christmas spent with my Grandfather Ed.
9. 1990 - I visited Omaha with my girlfriend before flying home for the rest of the holiday. We saw "Edward Scissorhands" at the mall cinemas.
10. 1977 - My first "Star Wars" action figures finally arrived.
11. 1997 - Downside - my Grandfather Asa died. Upside - our family grew tighter.
12. 1993? - Not sure here. But I'm pretty certain I spent New Years at Sugie Proctor's dad's apartment in Harrisburg and Tom McNamara streaked through the parking lot.
13. 2005 - The clan headed down to Kentucky. PGirl, Sobermick, Mrs. Sobermick and myself watched the Bills hand the Bengals their asses on Christmas Eve! Highlight: Sobermick causing a guy in the parking lot to get so angry that the other dude hit the car in front of him. Lowlight: Redneck fanfight in the middle of the street, blocks from the stadium.

Dumb Show

I'm not referring to "The Nutcracker" itself in this title, but rather a pantomime and gibberish combination used by actors who have no dialogue. As you may or may not know, I am appearing in a local production of this ballet as the father of Clara, the little girl who goes on the adventure within the story. During the opening party scene, all of us have to act as if we're socializing, even though there is no dialogue. Many of the particpants just move their lips and make gestures. I do not subscribe to that theory of dumb show. Since the music is loud and the audience can't hear me, I speak to the others on stage. Today I present to you:

15 Things I've Said To The Other Actors On Stage

1. "Please do something about your wife. She is an embarrassment."
2. "He gets it from your side of the family."
3. "Do you know how much this party cost me? Guess. $100."
4. "I don't get it. Every time the boy sees Clara's nutcracker, he goes berserk."
5. "I'm glad Drosselmeyer gave him a toy horse to play with. Fritz killed his real pony."
6. "Seriously. Do something about your wife."
7. "Drosselmeyer gave flowers to my wife. I think something's going on with those two."
8. "You think he's too old for my wife? Hell, I'm too old for my wife."
9. "Yes, the people in the box are from China. That is the box they came in. I don't even know if they're still alive in there."
10. "It does smell, but we just burn incense."
11. "What is in your hair?"
12. "I think Grandma is blitzed."
13. "You know what I do when Fritz gets out of line? I just smack him."
14. "I wish they would invent cars already. Then we could buy him car toys and he'd stop breaking his sister's toys."
15. "And don't go off fighting rat armies after bed time."
    

Glorious Food

Stolen from the Kentucky Colonel:

Thirteen of My Favorite Places To Eat:

1. Stringtown Restaurant/Florence, Kentucky - Best biscuits and gravy.
2. Muddy Waters/Deerfield Beach, Florida - Outstanding beer selection. Ridiculously affordable Caribbean Cuisine.
3. Angela's/Islip, New York - Thin crust, oily, floppy pizza.
4. The Pub/Jamestown, New York - Best sandwich selection in a bar.
5. Sumo/Deerfield Beach, Florida - Hole in the wall, Mom and Pop sushi. Volcano Roll!
6. Skyline Chili/Greater Cincinnati - Coney Islands and 3-Ways abound.
7. Golden China/Erlanger, Kentucky - My first Chinese buffet.
8. Blue Heaven/Key West, Florida - An old brothel, chicks and cats running underfoot, gourmet breakfast foods and alcholic drinks all before Noon.
9. Shakespeare's Pizza/Columbia, Missouri - A truly unique pie. If New York Style is on one pole and Chicago Style is on another, this one sits squarely in the middle.
10. Forte/Jamestown, New York - An ever evolving menu and the best staff in town.
11. McMillan's Cafe/Fayette, Missouri - The only food they made there was a burger that was pressed on a pre-George Foreman style grill. Best with raw onions.
12. Aldo's/Jamestown, New York - Good diner food any time of the day or night.
13. Southport Raw Bar /Ft. Lauderdale, Florida - Head to the stainless steel bar at the back of the place. Ask for Big Al, a beer and Old Bay Shrimp.
    

Friday The 1st - Felt Like A Thirteen

What a day!

Several Things That Could Have Destroyed A Happy Day, (And Why They Didn't...)

1. The dog got away from me before our morning walk. (He came back.)
2. My son wasn't listening to me again this morning. I yelled at him. (I apologized. I think he forgave me.)
   
3. Nasty weather had the potential to wreak havoc on my family in Kentucky. (So far, still safe.)
4. The holiday parade was postponed because of weather. (Gave me an excuse to republish my online newsletter - which had some errors in it the first time around - in order to reflect schedule changes for a few events.)
5. I had to leave work to free my father-in-law from his attic which led to....

.....6. Missing a 1pm meeting for the second time in two weeks with the same guy. (Father-In-Law accessed the attic from a ladder on the side of his house - ladder blew over- FIL finished insulating before calling PGirl - PGirl called me to help him. Meeting guy was very understanding and wouldn't have known about the movie cancellation at our venue tonight - due to the weather cancellation of the holiday parade - if I hadn't called him to apologize for missing the meeting in the first place!)

7. Could not send out press release with photos attached. (Shrunk photos down to fit.)
8. Office chair keeps descending. (Still isn't all the way fixed, but is better.)
9. Parade Postponement part 2 (Get to finish decorating tree with family tonight!)

We've Only Just Begun

When I was growing up, the Friday morning after Thanksgiving always found my mother following the same routine. First she'd put on an 8 track of the Nat King Cole Christmas album, then the decorations would begin to go up. I eventually bought her a cassette of the album, but not a CD. I should burn a copy of ours for her...

I love holiday tunes and I'd like to share with you, my perfect holiday mix:

1. The Christmas Song by Nat King Cole - As soon as those strings come in, you know the season has started.
2. Happy Holidays by Peggy Lee - Jazzy and bouncy.
3. Most Wonderful Time of the Year by Andy Williams - I'm a sucker for his old Christmas specials back when Donny Osmond and his brothers had more teeth than hair.
4. Christmas In Hollis by Run D.M.C. - A kick ass refrain - "Rhymes so loud and proud you hear it! It's Christmas time and we've got the spirit!"
5. Jingle Bell Rock by Brenda Lee - The Hall and Oates version is pretty good too.
6. Fairytale of New York - by The Pogues and Kirsty Maccoll. Darkly humorous (He: "You're an old slut on junk. Lying there almost dead on a drip in that bed." She - "You scumbag you maggot, you cheap lousy faggot. Happy Christmas your arse, I pray God it's our last!") and tear-jerking (She - "You took my dreams from me, when I first found you." He - "I kept them with me babe, and put them with my own. Can't make it all alone, I've built my dreams around you.")
7. Happy Christmas (War Is Over) by John Lennon and "Wonderful Christmas Time" by Paul McCartney. Imagine what kind of Christmas music they could have done together.
8. "White Christmas" by Etta James. If Bing was the king with his version, Etta is certainly the queen. Her's is underlaid by heavy, downbeat blues and her prologue about being in L.A. instead of the north is a great start.
9. Little Drummer Boy/Peace On Earth by David Bowie and Bing Crosby. Such a strange but beautiful collaboration. The first time I saw the video, I thought, WTF!

Stars In My Eyes

Because I'm bored at work...

Thirteen Roles I've Played On Stage And Thirteen Actors Who Played Them More Famously!

1. Scapino in "Scapino" - My first college role. Jim Dale (of "Harry Potter" audio book fame) played him in an early production.
2. Gandalf in "The Hobbit" - My first acting role in grade 8. Ian McKellen edges me out.
3. Falstaff in "Merry Wives Of Windsor" - Kevin Kline played him in one of the "Henry" plays in New York recently.
4. Alan Baker in "Come Blow Your Horn" - My first professional show. The Chairman of The Board - Frank Sinatra - played him on the silver screen.
5. Father Rivard in "The Runner Stumbles" - Played by Dick Van Dyke. In a TV movie no less!
6. Milt Manville in "Luv" - Take away a foot of height and one eye, add a trench coat and a beat-up car, what do you get? Yes, Peter Falk.
7. Joseph Smith in "Homage That Follows" - Bruce Davison (from X-Men) on the big screen.
8. Jacques in "As You Like It" - Kevin Kline again.
9. Dr. Gibbs in "Our Town" - Rudy's pop, Ned Beatty.
10. Pozzo in "Waiting For Godot" - The original Black Adder's papa, Brian Blessed.
11. Juror #11 in "12 Angry Men" - In 1997, Lt. Castillo himself, Edward James Olmos.
12. Herb in "Summertree" - The unsinkable Jack Warden.
13. Captain Keller in "The Miracle Worker" - Character actor, David Straitharn played him on TV a few years back.

Happy Turkey Day!

Talking Turkey

As everyone will likely be busy next Thursday, I'd like to post...

Thirteen Things I Like To Do On And Around Thanksgiving

1. Hang with the family.
2. Buy something at one of the few stores that is open. It is fun when they're almost empty of customers!
3. Watch Jodie Foster's "Home For The Holidays" on DVD. It is a but-gusting look at a family gathering on Turkey Day.
4. Catch some of the Macy's Parade.
5. Watch "Charlie Brown" Thanksgiving.
6. Try to get a look at some of the old "Friends" Thanksgiving episodes. "It tastes like feet!"
7. Not have to be anywhere except where my dinner is.
8. Watch an NFL game. Three this year with the addition of the NFL Network matchup!
9. Eat stuffing. Eat apple pie. Eat turkey. Drink wine.
10. Fall asleep somewhere other than my bed. Preferably with one of the kids or my wife sleeping on my shoulder.
11. Mentally prep for putting up the Christmas lights.
12. Watch Food Network's "Thanksgiving Unwrapped" and "The Secret History of Thanksgiving" and "Good Eats - Turkey". Rachael Ray's 30 Minute Thanksgiving gets honorable mention.
13. Plot of "The Very Barry Christmas DVD".

Agony of The Feet

As many of you know, PGirl's parallel sister, Princess is staying with us this weekend. He daughter and son have come along too and we're having a grand time.

Last night, PGirl hosted a "Body Shop" party for Princess. The only folks who showed up were Mr. Social, Mrs. Social and a gal from PGirl's place of work. I made feta garlic dip, bean dip and bruschetta. The ladies brought some wine home along with the groceries.

Mr. Social's daughter brought the kiddoe total to 5 and the two men were tasked with buying happy meals for shorty dinner. I figured that when we got back, the two of us would play with the kids and keep them away from the party. I was wrong.

Upon my return, I found the kids corraled into the back room.


In the living room, there were plastic basins filled with warm water. Five were ready for fresh feet, yet there were only 3 women who were there to be soaked. Princess doesn't count because she coordinates the whole affair. The extra basins were meant for myself and Mr. Social.

So, we did what any red-blooded, straight, American husbands would do to show our power over our wives.

We rolled up our jeans and took the plunge.

Mr. Social made a very good analogy. A Body Shop party is a lot like getting fleeced by a con-artist in the movies. The mark is led into a compromising situation where he is unclothed, tied up and ready to party. When it looks like the fun stuff is going to begin, the con takes the clothes and the guy's wallet and beats it out of there. The only differences are you lose your shoes here and you part with your money more willingly.

All kidding aside, it was pretty cool to get the foot treatment. After the lotion rub down, Mr. Social and I were sent from the room to watch the kids. I can only assume that this is the point in the evening where money changes hands.

Jacksonville

Please, please, please watch this performance!

"Jacksonville"

I saw Sufjan Stevens' on Austin City Limits last weekend and I can't get the damn song out of my head. Granted, the butterfly wings were kind of intriguing, visually. But I really like the strings and horns in it. Apparently he's released two albums about states with songs about famous people or incidents from each.
"Jacksonville" is about Helen Keller.

There's some other footage out there where the whole band is decked out in gear like this:


I'm curious about what y'all think about this dude...

Photograph

Yes, this is me.

A few weeks ago, a reporter from our local paper came by to talk about my new job. She told me the article would be out last Wednesday. I fully expected it to be tucked away by the crosswords and comics. By yesterday morning, it still had not come out. Then I got a call from the paper's photographer, wanting to take a picture. She came down to the office and snapped this lovely shot.

I think the headline should read "New Face At The Arts Council Is Looking Good....."

Dancing Machine

Several weeks ago, I took PGirl Jr. to her ballet class. As I waited in the reception area, the new director of the company began chatting with me. We work with each other occassionally through my new job, so we had some business to discuss. After a few minutes of this kind of talk, she asked me if I wanted to be in "The Nutcracker". I've done a bit of theater in my time and have studied acting for 16 years, so I figured she wanted me for some background work. We theatre-types call this "dumb show". Having seen the ballet a couple of times, I knew there were some small parts in the party scene. I bit.

Me: "Do you need me to play a butler or servant or something?"

She: "You'd play the host."

I begin to sweat, having never danced in a show, ever.

Me: "That's not the guy who brings the girl the nutcracker, is it?"

She: "No. He's the father of the little girl who is the center of the show."

Relief.

Me: "I'll do it."

She: "Good."

Me: "So I stand around with other adults and pretend to have a good time?"

She: "Yes. And you dance."

Panic.

Me: "Oh. Do I have to buy a dance belt?"

I didn't have to buy one.

I've been rehearsing on Sundays for almost a month now. The artistic director, not a dyed-in-the-wool football fan, has scheduled most of the rehearsals during the Bills games. But I've survived so far.

I know how to do a cross step now and the people who play my wife and daughter answer my questions when I have them. There have been two kids who've played my son so far. I think the one I worked with today is the real one. I'm even having fun with the "dumb-show". When the other "party parents" greet my character in a reception line, I shake the men's hands and say things like, "Glad you could come to the party old-chum!" and "You still owe me money Roscoe!"

Last week's rehearsal kind of rough. I smacked a girl in the head with my watch and a kid who I had to stand behind smelled vaguely poopy, but I get that every week in my own house.

Anyway, I have to wrap this up and get ready for bed. A dancer needs his rest.

Reeling In The Years

So, an old fraternity brother of mine contacted last week through email. We talked on the phone on Wednesday night for almost an hour, catching up - thanks for calling Drew! In honor of nostalgia, I present to you...

Thirteen Things About My Fraternity

1. The fraternity was called Delta Sigma Psi.
2. A year or so ago, it became a chapter of the Tekes National fraternity.
3. We had a diverse bunch of guys when I was in there. None of the other Greeks could pigeonhole us or stereotype us.
4. One of my brothers - Dino English - is a drummer for the Dark Star Orchestra - A Grateful Dead tribute band that tours nationally.
5. I held three positions in my time with the fraternity - Alumni Affairs, Pledge Captain and President.
6. Brother Drew was president before me.
7. My presidency was successful for making the fraternity a lot of money (We saved money my waiting to drink at our own parties until the last hour.)
8. My presidency was unsuccessful because we gained very few pledges during my senior year.
9. Our pledging period only lasted a week.
10. We had it easy compared to some of the other fraternity pledges who had to march around a clock tower for several hours at a time and carry around bricks in their sweatshirts - don't ask, because I don't know.
11. About the worst thing that I endured was losing some sleep and some slight psychological torture.
12. I unintentionally made some brothers laugh during a particularly solemn ceremony during pledge week. This "incident" earned me a nickname for a brief time among them. I wish I could name it here, but I can't. It is a very Greek name though.
13. This year marks the 45th anniversary of Delta Sigma Psi. We've reached middle age!

Monster Mash 2.0

Favor 8 - I do love "Return of the Living Dead". On Thursday I was reading the Wikipedia entry on it over lunch. Fun fact: Thom Matthews, who was the lead, also starred in "Friday The 13th - Part 6: Jason Lives. Both movies are very much tongue-in-cheek. Fun Fact 2: ROTLD was not an official sequel to George Romero's "Dead" movies. The guy who made ROTLD produced the original "Night Of The Living Dead" , but both men wanted to go in different directions after the original. So, they split up the franchise. Romero's movies would end with "of the Dead" (Dawn of the Dead, Day of the Dead, Land of the Dead) and the other guy's movies would end with "of the Living Dead" (ROTLD2, ROTLD3, etc.)

If any of you can stream audio at work or at home, I've found a pretty good Live365 station which plays classic, alternative and quirky Halloween music. There are even a few spooky readings thrown in.

Check it out:

http://radio.about.com/gi/dynamic/offsite.htm?site=http://www.live365.com/stations/horrorfreak13

Monster Mash

In anticipation of next Tuesday...

Thirteen Movies To Watch Around Halloween

1. Halloween - Still gets to me after all these years. The simplicity of John Carpenter's score and his synthesizer scary cues are a labor of love. Most of the sequels are crap and I don't honestly see how Rob "Poser" Zombie can add anything to his remake due out next year.
2. The Fog - The 1980 version, not the recent remake. Carpenter again goes low budget and manages more fright. For me, the creepiest scene featured no gore - watch when Adrienne Barbeau's character goes to work at the radio station while listening to sample promos on a cassette recorder.
3. Ed Wood - Creepy and comical! Johnny Depp and a slew of others (Martin Landau, Bill Murray, Patricia Arquette - among them) remain committed to kooky characterizations throughout this loving tribute to an original independent filmmaker.
4. Alien - Get the extended version if you can.
5. It's The Great Pumpkin Charlie Brown - Will Linus ever get out of that pumpkin patch?
6. Seven - Please don't tell P-Girl about the ending. When I found out who the killer was, my jaw dropped. I had just seen the actor in another suspense film weeks before where his character was the plot twist. The timing was perfect.
7. Salem's Lot - The David Soul version from the '70's. Tobe Hooper made the jump to television with this well-produced version of Stephen King's novel.
8. Night Of The Living Dead - For me, the scariest of the series.
9. Scream - Scary and funny. Nice twists.
10. Nightmare Before Christmas - Another Tim Burton neo-classic.
11. Buffy The Vampire Slayer "Hush" - Okay. Not a movie. But "The Gentlemen" are some of the scariest TV concoctions since Rosie O'Donnell and Bill O'Reilly.
12. Young Frankenstein - Watch it now!
13. The Lost Boys - Unlike a lot of Joel Schumaker flicks, this one gets better with age.

Little Me

On this third anniversary of Galoot Jr's birth I present to you...

13 Things About The Fruit Of My Loins

1. He should be on the record as causing the "shortest labor ever". Galoot Jr. arrived about twenty minutes after we entered the hospital. For a short time he had the nickname of "Pistol Pete" because he shot out of there!

2. His first name is PGirl's maiden name and the name of my Pop's younger brother. His middle name is my mother-in-law's maiden name.

3. He has blond hair, much like I did at his age.

4. His personality is more like Drunken Mick's than my own.

5. He is pretty good at escaping from rooms, buildings, etc.

6. One of his tricks is inverting his weiner like a turtle crawling back into his shell.

7. He is tall for his age.

8. He has a plastic, battery-powered John Deere tractor that stays at my Mom's place in Pennsylvania.

9. He is the first Barry in our immediate family to be born in New York State since Drunken Mick in 1976.

10. He shows little fear of most things.

11. When sleeping in our bed, he curls his fists around strands of PGirl's hair.

12. He knows how to piss off his sister.

13. The ladies love him...

We've Got To Move These Color TV's

I'm into my second day of a conference in the Adirondacks of New York State. The center conists of many log-cabin style buildings and sits on the edge of Blue Mountain Lake. Natural Beauty surrounds me, yet while I sat for endless discussions of not-for-profit arts in education, I wasn't thinking of all the scenery I could be taking in. No, I was concerned about an internet hook-up and Project Runway.

Thankfully, this place is a wifi hotspot - like an internet supernova! And there was a TV with satellite hookup in the game room. So, I multitasked on my laptop and watched two of my favorite shows last night.

Without further ado:

Thirteen Things I Learned From Television Last Night While I Should Have Been Hiking Trails In The Mountains Of Upstate New York Or, At Least, Kayaking On A Lake.

1. Jeffrey's clothes should not have won "Project Runway" for him. The first four polka dot things were awful.
2. I compromised my reality show ethics by voting for Jeffrey to win over Laura, just because I like the guy. Really, he grew on me.
3. I thought Jeffrey and Michael would be the first two to go last night. I was wrong.
4. I figured Uli to win.
5. "Top Chef" (I watched through the Quick-Fire challenge) still rocks. The people weren't nearly as obnoxious as the promos indicated.
6. Let's stick to the kitchen scenes and stay away from the dormitory living stuff. Please! You can keep your hour length by putting in stuff you cut out.
7. Heidi and Padmi are useless as hosts. They offer nothing - I mean nothing - to their respective shows. Producers, save your money and let Tim and Chef handle the hosting.
8. "Dancing With The Stars" = Big Pile of Poop.
9. "Lost" is like a soap opera. You can get away from it for awhile and pick up without getting...lost?
10. Locke's sweat-lodge induced vision of the airport was seriously cool!
11. I hate DirectTV's interface. Almost as bad as Time Warner-Digital Cable.
12. "Reality" shows cause me to talk to the TV half as much as televised sports.
13. Joey Lawrence is back? Really? Whoa!

No More Mr. Nice Guy

I'm cranky today...

!3 Things That I Can Live Without

1. Robin Williams doing his white-guy rap in movies and on television.
2. MTV's "Laguna Beach" and "Made". The beach kids' "reality" is anything but. And hiring trainers and consultants to help the "Made" teens turn into other people and do other things just enables them to be lazy quitters.
3. Laura on "Project Runway". I get it. You have a lot of kids. I heard you the first ten times!
4. Anyone calling Bill Clinton's Fox News appearance a "hissy-fit" or "outburst". The question he was asked was deliberate and pointed. He answered it. He defended himself. If Condy Rice is allowed to keep someone from "impuning" her reputation, surely an ex-president should too.
5. Our government doing very little about Darfur. We know that genocide is happening over there. We invaded Iraq on less information. WTF?
6. Sean Combs. His time came and went. Somebody get him on "The Surreal World", stat!
7. The light-rock station that invades all low wattage signals on my radio. I want to hear NPR in the morning, not Five for Fighting.
8. Rod Stewart making money by covering other people's songs. Enough.
9. People who double park. Don't they realize that by doing so, they risk getting scratched even more so?
10. Text messages. Save your 25 cents and call me.
11. People who are late for things so they can pick up their coffee.
12. Anyone who points at a tattoo on their body or a piece of clothing or a hairstyle and says "This is who I am! This is my identity!" Bullshit. What's on the inside?
That is what counts.
13. I'll squeeze two in here - bicycle riders who go against traffic and pedestrians who walk in the street next to a perfectly good sidewalk. If I come around the corner at a legal speed and you're where you're not supposed to be...
I'm just saying!

I guess the lady from yesterday's post rubbed off on me.

Whoah here she comes!

This little gem was in the reader's forum of The Post Journal of Jamestown, New York this morning.


Sleep Well My Friend, I Will Find Out Who You Are

"10/11/2006 - To the Readers’ Forum: This letter is to the mail thief who saw fit to steal packages off of my mail box on Oct. 2.

I’m sure you are proud of yourself for doing the ‘‘drive-by pick-up’’ without being caught. The worst part is, I was home at the time so I saw the package there one minute and gone the next.

I hope you are a teenage boy who enjoys bath and body products because I believe that is what you got!

You will be caught eventually because I did call the police. If you are stupid enough to try it again, you will have a major surprise coming! It won’t be pleasant either.

If you are really dumb enough to commit a federal crime then you are dumb enough to brag about it and one of your friends could be someone I know, as I know a lot of people, including kids.

This took place in Hartfield. My mail carrier was so sick about this that she called her boss right away to see where the packages came from and then told me I should contact the police. I can’t thank her enough for helping me as I then had an idea which place I had ordered from and could call to tell them what happened.

I would love to offer a reward for the arrest of this common thief, but I need my money to set up the surprise you have coming if you try this stunt again.

Sleep well my friend, I will find out who you are.

You probably aren’t smart enough to read, so you may not see this letter, but someone who knows you will!

Moms, daughters, girlfriends,if your son gives you an unexpected gift of bath and body goodies, beware, they are probably stolen. Peggy Cole, Dewittville"


What are your guesses as to what the "surprise" will be?

Rocket In My Pocket

13 Things In My Wallet

1. Dramatic photo of PGirl. Probably from 1990.
2. Sears Studio photos of PGirl Jr. and Galoot Jr. from 2004.
3. A fake mustache.
4. A U-Promise Master Card
5. Urologist appointment card for March 2007.
6. A "Timothy's" Coffee Club Card. 3 more stamps until free java!
7. Triple A "Plus Card.
8. Chautauqua AMP sticker.
9. Prendergast Library Card
10. CVS Pharmacy Card. CVS rocks.
11. New York State Driver's License with corrective lense restriction.
12. Hollywood Video Card.
13. No money.

What's Your Name?

When PGirl and I lived in Florida, our friends were spread out around Broward and Palm Beach County. Occassionally someone would move and I'd have to write down new directions to their house or apartment. I wasn't into Mapquest, so I'd usually jot down my notes onto a sheet of paper or a notepad. Many things I needed to remember made it onto small pieces of paper.

One day, I found a post-it note with two names written on it:

Lefton Crest

Ron Highridge

For the life of me, I did not recognize who these people were. I racked my brain and could not recall their faces. When P-Girl came home, I asked if she knew who they were. She looked at me like I was crazy and asked me why I wanted to know. I showed her the piece of paper.

She frowned, shook her add and said, "These are driving directions to Susan's house." In my haste I had scribbled the directions down without proper spacing.

Lefton Crest = Left on Crest

Ron Highridge = R on Highridge or Right on Highridge.

I felt like a total ass.

A few months later I found a rough draft of our wedding invitation list that PGirl had written. One name was unfamiliar to me.

Clive Nickel

Sounded British to me. Again, I was misreading the note. PGirl had a German friend named Uwe Nickel. For some reason, Uwe looked like Clive to me.

I've since put the names in a notebook to use as characters some day.

And while I'm at it, I've heard of many variations of figuring out your pornstar and drag queen names. My favorite is:

Middle Name + Name of first street you lived on = Porn Name.

If this is the case then my porn name is Anthony Bonaparte.

Bonaparte was the street I lived on in Long Island. If I used the street I grew up on, my name would be Anthony Arbor.

I like them both.

Body Rock

Thirteen Things Adorning My Body...In Real Time!

1. Gap denim blue jeans. One of the belt loops is not attached on one end.
2. A very old Gap black leather belt. Paint stains and tarnished belt buckle.
3. Pair of black and tan Vans.
4. Black, button down oxford. Purchased at Value City.
5. Silvery Fossil watch. Courtesy of PGirl!
6. The words "Read Grant" in black, Sharpie marker ink on my left index finger. A reminder.
7. Gold and platinum wedding band.
8. Silver claddagh ring. Right ring finger.
8. Honey colored, plastic eyeglasses.
9. Black socks. K-mart.
10. Flannel boxer shorts.
11. Gunmetal gray hanes t-shirt.
12. Poland Spring water bottle in right hand.
13. A grin on my face!

Rattled By The Rush

Pavement was a band that I did not get to see live before they disbanded. They pretty much rank in my revolving top three artists with Uncle Tupelo and The Minutemen. Though they've not been together for 7 years, their cool-ass record label, Matador, has been reissuing their discs. Every two years or so, the world gets to revisit the noodling guitars, absurd lyrics and shout-outs that defined the band. And the new sets are oh-so-cool! So far, "Slanted and Enchanted" and "Crooked Rain, Crooked Rain" have been reissued in deluxe, 2-disc editions containing upwards of 50 tracks.

Now, at long last, their greatest (in my humble opinion) album, "Wowee Zowee" gets the deluxe treatment! I urge you to give them a try. I can't guarantee that you'll love them as I do, but even P-Girl has learned to sing along to "Range Life" from Crooked Rain.

Favorite Song? "Father To A Sister Of A Thought"

Favorite Lyric?

Getting off the candelabra
We call her barbara
Breeding like larva
She rabble rousing
Dental surf combat
Get out those hard-hats
And sing us some skat
Blade gushers gush
Chained and perfumed
I don't need a minister to call me a groom

from "Rattled By The Rush"

November 7 it arrives!

Warning! The comments posted contain mad-suggestive lyrics. Continue at your own risk!

The Wedding of Jimmy McJamestown and Marsha

1. Jimmy married Marsha on September 24, 2005 in Albuquerque, New Mexico.
2. Due to financial constraints, PGirl did not attend (and she was sorely missed).
3. I discovered a margarita made from Blood Oranges. Very tasty!
4. I attached several cans to the back of the newlywed’s rental car with dental floss and shoe laces. All items were found by, or purchased from various hotel staff where everyone was staying.
5. The priest was very old and had a memory lapse on the day of the wedding. He never showed.
6. Jimmy’s future brothers-in-law and myself sped about town in a desperate search for a replacement priest – tuxes and all!
7. We finally found a deacon who agreed to perform the service.
8. The tuxes were very classy.
9. Mrs. McJamestown had a dispute with the hotel regarding the open bar that was quickly resolved.
10. Jimmy and Marsha danced to Wilco’s “Far, Far Away”. Beautiful song and beautiful couple.
11. Among the well wishers were the founder of Harvey Finklestein’s Sock Puppet Theatre. Jimmy was a cast member of that company’s production of “Showgirls”. Featuring puppets. I kid you not.
12. Journey’s “Separate Ways” was the last song played at the reception before everyone was shooed back to their rooms.
13. Jimmy took Marsha for a hot-air balloon ride the morning after to begin the honeymoon.

Not Getting Hassled, Not Getting Hustled

I'm it.

Boone just tagged me to come up with a story about our days in grad school. Head over to his post first and read up on a couple of our L.A. friends.

Now that you're back, I'll hash out a real quickie here. Boone, Roundtree and Beammeup were a pretty tight bunch. I was living about twenty minutes from where they lived when most of the pranking went down and they were still in school together, so I wasn't around for most of it. Roundtree would tell me stories some times, and I was pretty jealous of the fun they were having. Whenever I would hang out with those guys, I was kind of intimidated by their chumminess. I could never tell if what they were saying was sincere or not. And Boone is such a teddy bear, that when he did cut loose with something funny, it was out of left field.

Anyway, one night, I went to Roundtree's place to hang out. Soon, Beammeup had arrived, and the three of us decided to go into Rountree's room (he had roommates, some whacky-weed was present, you get the picture). We cracked on each other for awhile and played new music for each other. After a while, we kind of stopped talking and just listened to the music. The silence was making me paranoid and every time one of the guys looked at me, I thought they were trying to mess with me. They assured me they weren't.

This set us to giggling and trying to psyche each other out. Out of the blue, Beammeup looks over at a guitar leaning on a wall, he then asks Roundtree a question:

Beammeup: Is that your guitar?

Roundtree: Yup.

Beammeup: Why don't you play us something.

Roundtree: Okay.

Now, as far as Beammeup and I knew, Roundtree did not play guitar. We both thought he was bluffing. So Roundtree picks it up, places his fingers on the frets, and starts to play. It wasn't great playing, but there was music coming out. Beammeup and I just look at each other, marvelling at this new found talent. No sooner had our jaws dropped, when Roundtrees playing begins to fall apart and he collapses in a fit of laughter. He couldn't really play. Miraculously he managed to strum something out that resembled a tune. Roundtree had won. We all lost it.

It's Raining Men

I've checked out just a few profiles of the blog-buds of PGirls. They mostly seem to be women and have graciously commented on my blog. I don't return the favor as much as I hope to, but I do read often! I haven't noticed too many guys commenting.

That might change. In the span of 12 hours, Brother Tim, GalootSr. (from now on known as "Kentucky Colonel") and Daniel Boone (a buddy from grad school and a proud team owner in the AFFL.) have all invaded blogger! I'm pleased as punch (and will probably get punched in the arm for such a "gay" response).

Sr. hasn't posted yet, but when he does I'll link him up. He's commenting on my blog as Len. Dammit Dad! You told everyone our first name!

Check them out!

He Ain't Heavy, He's My Brother

Brother Tim has published his first blog. Here are 13 things you should know about him.

1. He's 4 and a half years younger than me.
2. His wife, Krissy, is very cool and went to the same high school as me.
3. He's a bit of a daredevil having broken limbs (including neck and fingers).
4. He played several sports over the years, including soccer, basketball and football.
5. He plays in a rugby club in the Cincinnati area.
6. He works in insurance, but has had other interesting jobs such as auto-detailer and pizzeria manager.
7. He has two alter-egos that I have witnessed - Captain Nautical (a superhero) and Lonnie Warchild (a martial arts instructor).
8. During my wedding weekend, he wrestled on the floor of a bar with one of PGirl's bridesmaids.
9. He has a penchant for urinating in public places when the need arises.
10. Galoot Jr. seems to have inherited the daredevil genes that Brother Tim owns.
11. He his 6'4" tall.
12. He is adept at video camera work and editing.
13. He is named after great-grandfathers on our mom's side of the family.

Check out his blog. The folks in the first post are his rugby kin. And yes, that man is pooping in a bucket. Mind you, he's just starting out with this...

Islands In The Stream

I have longed for a job where I can spend part of my day at a desk, working on my computer and listening to radio. My job at the arts council allows for this and I quite enjoy having music or talk radio play underneat my work.

The Dan Patrick Show on ESPN radio is pretty entertaining and informative. From 2pm until 3pm, Keith Olbermann joins him in the studio or by phone. By 3pm, I usually am listening to WGR550, sports radio from Buffalo. A lot of good Bills talk occurs on this station. Alternately, I listen to Fresh Air or World Cafe during this time.

I listen to streaming radio throughout the day as well. I-Tunes has many fine streams for just about every musical taste. WOXY.com is still my favorite source for alt-rock, old and new. Sadly, they'll be shutting down on Friday due to lack of funding. I am saddened by this, but another door has opened...

Walt, who you may recall from my recent Maniacs blog, told me to check out Pandora.com. Well, I a-looked-a and I a-liked-a! My god this thing is amazing. You sign up for free (all you incur are a spate of pop-ups in the browser), plug in the name of an artist you enjoy and one of that artist's songs begins to play. The entire song is played. What follows is a string of songs by similar artists whose music is linked together by many shared elements. If you plug in "The Specials", Pandora will cull together a list of songs that have "electric rock instrumentation
punk influences, reggae influences, a subtle use of paired vocal harmony, mild rhythmic syncopation, acoustic rhythm piano, repetitive melodic phrasing
demanding instrumental part writing, mixed acoustic and electric instrumentation
paired vocal harmony, minor key tonality and prominent organ".

You can create up to 100 music streams, each named after the first artist you choose. If you don't like a song, you can give it a thumbs down or skip ahead up to 6 times an hour. Otherwise, just sit back and enjoy the tunes!. And it's free!

If you want to try it out, check out the sidebar in my blog.

Drink For Two

First of all, Bucky Phillips surrendered yesterday after a 16 hour cat and mouse game that began at 2am on Friday. Over a hundred law enforcement folks spread out around the town of Akeley, PA. Bucky had been spotted near a golf course in that area and was soon spotted in the woods. My mom, who lives up the hill from Akeley spent most of the day in her house with a shotgun and her two dogs, listening for intruders. No one was allowed up or down the road on which she lives. Eventually, the cops figured Bucky was in a corn field and at 8p, the fugitive walked out and gave up.

In other news, the Maniacs show was nearly a sell out, which is a good thing for this little city. PGirl and I hit the bar at Forte before hand to hang out with the band and a hundred other folks, including some politicians, artists, old schoolmates and musicians. Bud, Bud-Light and Mich-Light and some wine was free to guests, but we started off with a local beer for PGirl and a martini for me. We also had some crabcakes. Good stuff. We eventually started on the free stuff. That is when the fun began.

The show started at 7pm, with opening acts, but the Maniacs weren't supposed to go on until 9:30. So we hung out at and around the bar. I spent the first part of the evening, talking with an artist who I'm working with to do a "flash" exhibition downtown. Then I reconnected with some folks I hadn't seen in a while. PGirl and I wound up talking a lot to a fellow named Walt, from MTV/Viacom. He's an old friend of the band and has a place over in Ashville. He was pretty candid, talking at length about some shake up over at MTV (Tom Freston was fired) and the future of the civic center.

We finally made it up to the balcony about two songs into the Maniacs set. What can I say? They were really good. Oskar Saville has a powerful voice and can get the crowd moving. Dennis gets into the songs, making a lot of gestures and faces. He's into the music. My next door office neighbor, Jeff, is the replacement guitarist and very true to the band's style of music. Original guitarist, Rob Buck died six years ago. The crowd was pretty into it.

And PGirl, well, I knew she loved the Maniacs and was familiar with all of their songs, but I had no idea what this concert meant to her. She was moving the whole time. Whooping and hollering. She even got acknowlegement from the band when Oskar introduced on of her own songs.

Okay, she did drink more than I did last night, but I don't think she was ripped. I believe her "good times" were courtesy of a mix of drink and sheer joy! On the way home, she was talking like Anthony Micheal Hall in "Weird Science" (Well, my nuts are halfway up my ass, but other than that, I'm perfect!") She is sleeping in a bit right now, but is in a good mood. I wish I could remember some of the jive she was talking last night. It was pretty damn funny!

This Be The Day

Dennis Drew - Maniac!


The building is all abuzz today. Tonight, the 10,000 Maniacs will be performing a 25th anniversary concert in our civic center. John Sebastian of "The Lovin' Spoonful" is performing with them. For those of you not in the know, original singer Natalie Merchant left the band several years ago. The most recent vocalist, Oskar Saville of "Rubygrass" is performing with the group tonight. She has a powerful voice and a playful stage presence. Should be a good show! PGirl and I will be in the balcony and at a pre-show party downstairs at Forte!

Concurrently, our county has been dealing with an escaped fugitive, Ralph "Bucky" Phillips. This dude was serving 90 days on a parole violation when he used a can opener to break out of the jail kitchen he was working in. He had less than a month to go, but was unaware of this.


Bucky Phillips - Maniac?

Since escaping he has:
- allegedly shot a cop in the stomach
- robbed a gun store
- robbed several hunting cabins
- allegedly ambushed two cops with a hunting rifle (one is in critical condition, the other has died from his injury)
- taken refuge with family and friends throughout our region of New York and Pennsylvania

It is very easy to travel throughout the county and into PA without hitting main roads. The state troopers have over 100 men and women on each shift, searching, setting up roadblocks, arresting Bucky's boarders, etc. But the dude stays free. Sad thing is, several folks around here hate the cops and are keeping Bucky on the lam.

Bucky made the FBI's top ten yesterday.

Dateline NBC is supposed to be around today to cover the whole mess and one of our county executives is trying to get them to tape some of the Maniacs show and some of our other culture. All to make sure Chautauqua County doesn't come off looking like some hayseed, backwoods area.

We'll see...

All Shook Up

A Word Jumble, if you will...

13 Random Words and Phrases I that I can see from my office desk. All exist within the confines of my room.

1. Panegyri
2. Trachtenburg Family Sideshow Players
3. The Copywrighter's Handbook
4. The Complete Atlantic Recordings
5. Taking Stock
6. The Zombie Survival Guide
7. Roundup
8. Get Fuzzy
9. Ask me to tell you the story of The Kissing Hand.
10. Daler Mehndi
11. Food Is Good
12. If he gets the community all riled up, we could be in trouble!
13. Speak for yourself.

All That Jazz

You asked for it - r – you got it! From Pgirl and Galoots nups.
I’ll use nicknames to protect the innocent…














Left to right:
Stepbrudder Allen, Mr. Social, Duder, Brother Tim, Richard Roundtree, The Galoot (kneeling), Jimmy McJamestown, Scarface, Favor8 (with Bubba teeth) and Chibbs.

The Metro

About a week after P-Girl and I were married, I was back in school, teaching theatre to a kindergarten class. One of the girls asked me a question, “Why do you have that ring on your finger?”. I told her I had gotten married over the summer break. She looked at me with a look of disbelief on her face, replying, “I’ve never known a man from the theater to be married.”

Many folks believe that most men in the theater are gay. I happen to be straight. In fact, most of the guys I went to undergrad and graduate school with are straight. We were the smart ones, because theater departments are crawling with the ladies and we were usually outnumbered!

I wasn’t helping my case as a hetero by my post-dinner actions tonight. About halfway through a walk around the block with the family dog, I realized:

1. I was wearing a t-shirt with the comedy/tragedy masks on it.
2. I was carrying my dog’s poop in a plastic grocery bag that swung to and fro in my free hand.
3. My dog is a standard poodle that used to look like an Airedale, but had recently been groomed and now looks more poodle-like.

We made it home despite a neighbor’s St. Bernard’s barking attempts to out us from a closet which doesn’t exist. I'm not gay.

P.S. Only two more nights until the next episode of “Project Runway”!

xxoo

Double Fantasy

I was a late-bloomer when it came to football-fanhood. Sure, I watched the Bengals lose two SuperBowls to the Niners, but I was hardly an armchair quarterback. I was in it for the community aspect.

Usually, televised Bengals games were the center of a Sunday ritual at my Dad's house which involved yelling at the television and eating my stepmom's chili. I didn't understand the game, but I certainly could recognize Ken Anderson, Boomer Esiason, Chris Collinsworth, Anthony Munoz and Max Montoya. I can still do the "Icky Shuffle"!

In college, while most of my fraternity brothers spent the weekend watching college an pro football, I would hang out with my girlfriend, listen to tunes or head into a larger college town to watch independent movies. My sole foray into watching the pigskin was on SuperBowl Sunday when my fraternity would hold a rush. It was fun being a casual fan. Watching other guys sweat it out over bets they had made or pride for their team made me feel comfortable. I didn't feel any pressure at all.

I continued to all but ignore football throughout most of the nineties. Cousin Eddie would have family SuperBowl parties that were more a family reunion than a sporting event. In grad school theatre, there were a handful of sports fans. And most of the directors scheduled rehearsals on SuperBowl Sunday. I'd be lucky to catch half of the event. And, to be honest, I enjoyed the commercials more than the game by that point.

My view on football, and the N.F.L. began to change in 1998. P-Girl and I had been dating for several months and were in Jamestown for Mr. Social's wedding. This was the weekend before Halloween, which meant very cool weather in Western New York. On the day after the wedding, we headed across the lake on The Silver Fox (P-girl's dad)'s boat. It was a cold, dismal afternoon, and we docked in Bemus Point. Soon we were hunkered down at the Surf Club's small bar (tucked away in a small room behind the large bar). The place was empty, and the three of us spent the afternoon drinking bloody mary's, eating sandwiches and watching the Bills play. For the first time in my life, I really watched the game. It started to make sense. The Silver Fox was a high school football coach and didn't treat me like an idiot when I asked questions.

My education continued at home with P-Girl. She also knew the game and could answer most of my questions. Since we were living in South Florida, I watched what was available - Dolphins games. I didn't watch every one, but enough to remain interested. In the fall of 1999, I began to watch more. Dan Marino was taken out because of injury and his backup had to take over for five games. Backup Damon Huard went 4-1 and had to fight for every one. It was gripping and enjoyable. I was dissapointed when Marino was given the top spot back. His last game against Jacksonville was atrocius.

I'd seen enough to keep me going. I was hooked. I started watching some college bowl games (including some Michael Vick action at Virginia Tech) and some of the Florida college matchups as well. I even caught a few Bills games along the way.

When we moved to western New York in 2001, I continued to follow the Dolphins and caught a few Bills games. Unfortunately, an arrogant quarterback named Rob Johnson had the top spot for Buffalo. Doug Flutie came in as back up a couple of times, but mostly, that season was a wash.

Drew Bledsoe came to Buffalo in 2002 and delivered some of the goods, but not enough to keep the Bills from drafting JP Losman in 2004. It's been rough to watch at times, but I love our division and watching every Sunday.

And now I am going into my second season as part of a fantasy football league. Brother Tim created last year's AFFL (Awesome F***ing Football League), which saw his Drunk Micks and my Big Galoots end up #1 and #2 respectively. We only had six teams, and three friends along with us (the last team was a ghost team), but I had a lot of fun trading players and watching stats play out over each weekend. I still managed to enjoy watching the Bills, but now when they didn't do so well, I would have another reason (excuse?) to watch another game or two.

This season, the AFFL has been resurrected. Along with the newly named Drunkin' Micks and the Nancy Boys (formerly the Big Galoots), we have the Mighty Mews, Tom Landry's Hat, Scarface and the Vanderbilt Vandals. We're looking for at least two more teams, but can accomodate another 4. So, if any of you or your hubbies would like to join the league, drop me a line! So far we have the states of New York, Florida, Texas, Ohio, Kentucky and Pennsylvania represented.

I might also join the Wine Cellar's league which is run by CBS Sports. If any of you would like to name my new team, post it in the comments section. The winner will get a DVD copy of Paul Dinello's "Beyond The Door".

Beyond The Door

Yesterday afternoon found my co-worker, Grady and myself looking at the store fronts on the street below our offices. One of our tenants is moving across third street and their vacated space will be converted into a small performance space soon. We were brainstorming ways to change the facade of this particular building when Grady suggested we check out another store front.

The Palace Gallery is on the right side of our theatre lobby and used to be part of the operation. This fall, it will be remodeled to be an expansion of the box office and lobby. Grady took me to the basement to show me something. Occupying several closets were several boxes full of old newsletters, brochures, etc.

A few of the boxes held videotapes of short comic films from the 1990's. Our city is the hometown of Lucille Ball and every year there are two festivals held in her honor. A decade ago, the festival revolved more around comedy and there were screenings of short films.

I grabbed a few tapes to bring home, because I recognized some names as people from Second City. P-Girl and I sat down to watch one entitled "Beyond The Door". To our delight, it featured Paul Dinello and Stephen Colbert from "Strangers With Candy" (and, of course, "The Colbert Report"). If any of you are fans, I suggest tracking this one down and watching it.

Maybe I can get it on YouTube...

In The Cradle

My dad reads my blog and P-girl's to keep up with Galoot family fun. I haven't posted in a while, (which he reminded me of last night), so, in honor of the big man's birthday...13 Things About The Biggest Galoot!

1. He has the exact same name as me. I'm not a junior or a "second".
2. He worked several years for the Gap and is married to my very cool stepmother, who also works for that company. Needless to say, the whole family (right down to Galoot Jr., P-Girl2 and the Wonder Twins - stepbro's kiddoes) has been decked out in classic clothing for over 30 years.
3. He is a very generous man who continues to offer advice, moolah and love as needed.
4. He is a tall man, clocking in at 6'4".
5. He comes from a large Irish/Italian family from New York.
6. He worked as a bouncer in Long Island back in the day.
7. He once concocted an alcoholic drink he dubbed "Joy Juice".
8. His speciality in the workforce was management. He's very good at working with people.
9. In more civilized times, he was in a street gang called "The Deli Boys". By "civilized", I mean they didn't kill people and they existed in the '60's.
10. Many meals in the '80's were accompanied by stories of his adventures with his younger brother, Tugboat. They were kind of like Twain's Huck and Finn, except they played lacrosse and lived on the east coast. Very funny stuff!
11. In the mid-eighties at Christmas time, Dad once brought home a video gaming system that had just been released (the company he worked for owned a toy store chain). We'd been making due with an old Atari and a Texas Instruments computer. But this one quickly took hold of us and never let go. It was an NES!
12. Much of his humor has been instilled in me. I take more risks in performance because of the examples he set.
13. His name was appropriated by a singer in the 1960's who is famous for a hit song about...math.

Happy Birthday Pop!

Anarchy In The U.K. - Fourfecta!

Yes, I have officially made the celebrity fourfecta!

Okay, I forced this one, but it was worth it. Tonight, I accompanied six of my students to see an hour long comedy-video-music-satire with Harry Shearer and his wife, Judith Owen. It was kind of like his radio program "Le Show".

I spoke to him after the performance. He was very gracious. Small clubs are the best places to catch celebrities - postshow.

In case you don't know, Harry Shearer is probably most famous for his voice work on "The Simpsons" - playing Principal Skinner, Rev. Lovejoy, Ned Flanders, Mr. Burns and Mr. Smithers. He also played bass-player, Derek Smalls in "Spinal Tap".

My fourfecta includes Shearer, Carey Lowell, Mike McShane and James Carville.

That is all for today!

Anarchy in the U.K. - 13 Things About Edinburgh

1. The Queen’s summer palace is about a mile from our dorms. She’s here this week and a couple of my kids claimed they saw her as we drove past on our way to the theatre.
2. During the month of August, the city is bombarded by tourists hoping to catch part of the many festivals held here.
3. Sean Connery has a place somewhere in town.
4. J.K. Rowling wrote some of her Harry Potter series at a local coffee shop while working here.
5. A dormant volcano lives beside the Queen’s palace and the University. It is called Arthur’s Seat and many people climb it daily.
6. There are several Starbucks in the city.
7. Public transportation is pretty affordable and easy to use.
8. Edinburgh Castle lies in the heart of the city, atop a large hill.
9. During the month of August, a Military Tattoo is held almost nightly in front of the castle. Several hundred performers from around the globe join Scotland’s military band for a musical event for 10,000 spectators.
10. Princes Street is a long stretch of road in New Town which houses many contemporary retail stores.
11. The Royal Mile stretches from Edinburgh Castle to the Queen’s place. Parts of it are shut down for pedestrian traffic during the Fringe.
12. Performers travel the Royal Mile, handing out thousands of show flyers to passerby.
13. The temperature here is ranging between the low and high 60’s.

Anarchy In The U.K. - 2.5

Just a quick one here.

As I waited for a bus to take our students to another show, one of the staff walked by us with an elderly woman and a younger woman. The younger woman looked very much like the actress, Carey Lowell.

The kids got on the bus with the chaperones (I'm hanging back until early afternoon) and I went to a reception office on campus. I bought a new phone card and thumbed through some newspapers, waiting for the women to leave so I could ask the staff if Carey Lowell was indeed one of the women.

Sure enough, it was her. The older woman was Lowell's mother and referred to her as Carey!

Celebrity sighting #2!

P.S. Carey Lowell was married to Griffin Dunne and now is married to Richard Gere.

Anarchy in the U.K. - Part Two

Smash decided he would limp through the show – swollen knee and all. I was sitting at the light board, anticipating a rough opening performance. The theatre seats only 81 and there were maybe 20 people in the audience. Half of those were students from another high school performing in the festival. They go for free.

When I brought the lights up, the boys playing Forest Rangers marched on stage. Smash, unbeknownst to me, had wrapped his knee in a towel with fake blood on it. Everyone who knew of the injury just lost it! It set the tone for the rest of the evening, to be sure. He worked the injury into the show, getting many laughs. The kids fed off the manic energy and delivered a good performance.

The rest of Monday and most of Tuesday saw no drama.

Conflict, however, found us at the last night’s performance. Allow me to do a bit of exposition…

The Festival Fringe is held every August and features 10,000 or so performers doing what they do best in several venues, large and small. The larger festival contains several smaller ones, including film, art and music. The one we’re part of is the American High School Theatre Festival.

Several high schools bring musicals, comedies and dramas here to perform. Each school does the show four times. Throughout the week, each school also sees performances by 4 other schools. Each school is allotted a two hour time slot. 15 minutes to load in, 90 minutes to do the show and 15 minutes to load out.

Our musical director chose “Little Mary Sunshine” to do. I agreed. It is a spoof of operettas that was written and produced originally in the late fifties. The characters are U.S. Forest Rangers, young finishing school ladies and Indians from the Kadota tribe. Each of these characters is written with tongue firmly planted in cheek. Each is performed that way too.

When we arrived in Scotland, there was a director’s meeting. Among the attendees were 3 students and a chaperone from Arizona. They are here to perform a dance and monologue performance titled “Native Women”. They are most definitely Native American. As everyone introduced themselves to the large group (fifty or so), I thought to myself, “Wouldn’t it be uncomfortable if this group of Native Americans was scheduled to attend our show?” I also thought, “Gee, I should have sent a script for the schedulers to read.”

Sure enough, when we got to the theatre space tonight, the Native American group was sitting in the audience. The chaperone took several pictures whenever one of our kids was playing an Indian. Their students laughed a couple of times during the show, but never applauded. About halfway through the song “Me A Heap Big Injun” (yes, I’m rethinking the entire show now), the students and their chaperone got out of their seats and left the room. I wanted to crawl into a hole and curl up into a fetal position.
It only got better. They rode back to the dorms on the chartered bus with our cast. A few of our parents spoke with their chaperone. I only heard snippets of his dialogue. I think he said the kids were talented. But he also mentioned the word “insensitive”. Hindsight is twenty-twenty isn’t it? I must be blind…

Anarchy In The U.K.

As an obligation to my previous job (high school theater teacher), I have taken 17 teenagers to the United Kingdom. There is a musical director (my old supervisor) and three mothers along with us. Our mission - perform a musical at the Festival Fringe in Edinburgh, Scotoland.

We began our trip last Tuesday night, taking an overnight flight to London-Gatwick. Shopping, sight-seeing and "Les Miserables" ensued for a day and a half. Most of the kids did well on this part of the trip. A few are creating some "drama" and one of the parents complains more than anyone with our group. I'd never been to London before, so the musical director and one of the kids showed everyone around.

On Friday we got up bright and early to catch the train to Edinburgh. The continental breakfast upset the complaining daughter and her child. I sent the child out of the lobby when I had enough of her smart-ass comments. Earlier, her mother tried to pull the "but we're Americans and expect..." card. I told her that wouldn't fly.

The train ride was very cool and we made it into our dorm rooms in Edinburgh by 4pm. After dinner and sleep, we had a morning technical rehearsal, then spent the rest of Saturday exploring Edinburgh. I was in my element here, leading a group of the guys through the old section of the city while the rest of the group shopped in the new part of town.

The lads and I hit secondhand stores, music shops, a computer dealer, comic book seller and an internet cafe on the way back to campus. We even started a gang - named after the first street we came to. Several of us now belong to the Montagues! My nickname is B-Ill. Other members include Master Rob, Tony, Pinball, Doc, Roscoe, and Smash.

Celebrity sighting - Mike McShane of the British "Whose Line Is It Anyway?" We chatted him up for a few minutes, then headed back to campus.

Saturday night was uneventful, except for some drunk college guys trying to pick up some of the girls in our group.

Sunday saw us hitting church for Mass (a field trip requirement - we're a Catholic school). After a quick snack, half the group costumed up to take part in the Cavalcade parade on Princes street. Over 100,000 spectators were there to take it all in. Several of the other high school groups followed a double decker bus with more singing teens on it.

About halfway through the route, Smash attempted a high kick and popped his knee. I assisted him for a few minutes, but couldn't make any progress. So he hopped on my back and I ran a quarter mile up the street to toss him onto the bus. We must have been interesting to look at.

After an emergency room visit (no serious damage) the two of us returned to campus and had dinner. The rest of the group was out and about, so we hung out. Smash showed me how to use garage band. We made a very hip dance mix.

Well, our first performance is less than three hours from now. More Fringe notes to come...

Is you is? Or is you ain't?

I’ve split my thirteen into two parts today:

7 entertainments I’m supposed to like, but don’t.

6 entertainments I’m not supposed to like, but do.

Don’ts

1. “Boondock Saints”This film turned me off when I first read the title. It seemed to try to rip off “Reservoir Dogs”. It has recently been reissued in a special edition, and the photo in the ad of two guys with wrap-around shades, lighting their cigarettes did not appeal to me. Willem Dafoe as a gay lawman? Why? Is having him call a lover a “fag” supposed to be ironic? No thanks. Not my kind of humor. Not that there’s anything wrong with that…

2. “Poolhall Junkies”Yet another title turn-off.

3. “Clerks”/”Dogma”Okay, I really enjoyed “Clerks” when it first came out. But each subsequent viewing shows the cracks. Unfortunately, Kevin Smith still writes very awkward dialogue and frames his shots without any sense of style. “Dogma” was supposed to be edgy and make me, as a Catholic, jump back in horror. It was painful to watch someone try so hard to be controversial.

4. “Napolean Dynamite”Jared Hess had some potential to make a quirky movie. But, dressing people in dated clothes and having them give zombie-like line readings does not make a film absurd.

5. “Punk’d”I can’t stand watching Ashton Kutcher hog up so much screen time speaking to three studio cameras in his manic style. The only bright spot: exposing some “celebrities” for the spoiled, self-centered, fake brats they really are. Travis Barker – I’m calling you out! Poseur Mohawk and all!

6. “Survivor”Why do we reward people for treating each other like crap?

7. “MadTV”No. No. No. The middle ground between the highs of “In Living Color” and the lows of “All That”. A lot of talented improv comedians have gone through their ranks. I’ve done bad work for money too. And what the hell is up with their actors making fun of “Saturday Night Live”. I’ve seen it done on the show and heard it said on talk shows. “MadTV” would not exist if not for “SNL”.

Do’s

1. “Road House”
I don’t need to say any more on this one.

2. Andy Dick
By all accounts, he’s supposed to be a raging egomaniac. But I’ve been entertained by both of his MTV shows.

3. Half of “Family Guy”Most of the flashbacks are unimaginative. But I love the audacity of some of the plot lines.

4. “The Today Show”If I’m motivated enough to be awake by 7am, this is the first thing I see on the tube. Breaking news, fashion and concerts in the plaza!

5. Music Downloads
I believe that if you’re going to listen to an artist, you should buy the whole album. Too many people turn up their noses at the start of a song because they’re not familiar with it. However, ITunes is very attractive…

6. PC’s and Macs
I love both of them. I am firmly on the fence.

Leftovers

Princess appropriated this from Stinkypaw. It is too good to pass on. Pick one recording artist or group you like and answer the following questions with their song titles. I was really anal and tried to pick only songs The Bottle Rockets had written and no covers. Enjoy!

1. Are you male or female? Man of Constant Anxiety
2. Describe yourself. Every Kinda Everything
3. How do some people feel about you? Mountain To Climb
4. How do you feel about yourself? Perfect Far Away
5. Describe your "ex". Gas Girl
6. Describe your current significant other. Queen of the World
7. Describe where you want to be. I Wanna Come Home
8. Describe how you live. 24 Hours A Day
9. Describe how you love. Love Like A Truck/I’ll Be Coming Around
10. What would you ask for if you had a wish? Coffee Monkey
11. Share a few words of wisdom. Take Me To The Bank
12. Now say goodbye. The Bar’s On Fire

Short Sharp Shocked

The hot months are upon us now and with that comes some new styling and profiling. Among my newest fashion acquisitions are:


The Clooney Cut
Marty at Salon 1 whipped out the clippers a couple of weeks ago and laid waste to my hair. While it is easy to manage, I have a nasty cowlick that'll take a couple of weeks to get a handle on. Also, my face is big and really short hairstyles can accentuate it further. Once the mane has grown for another week, it will be the perfect length.

The Right Trousers
Pants are really difficult for me to find. Most normal retailers think that men with 42" waists don't have legs longer than 30". Big and tall stores think that tall men love farmers jeans and poly blends. Online is the way to go. The best jeans and khakis I've gotten in the last 3 years have come from Gap and Old Navy online. And thanks to Galoot Sr. (who worked for the Gap in the seventies and whose wife has been with Gap since 1969) I'm the proud owner of some loose fitting khakis. I kid you not, these are all I've been wearing for two weeks at work. I love them.

Sunglasses at Night
Big head = wide glasses. My new specs came in. Plastic frames...honey colored...and transitional lenses! Yes, I've finally become that kid I wanted to tell off in grade school. You know who I'm talking about. The one whose glasses always seemed to be sunglasses indoors. He thought he was so cool. But, no, his eyes were just light sensitive. Now I have a pair. Luckily, they don't seem to go too dark indoors. Just in case, if you want to fight with me because of them, please allow me to take them off first.

Ten Years Gone

After breakfast this morning, while the kids played, Pgirl and I alternately read the newspaper and watched a movie on the Independent Film Channel. "Walking and Talking", stars Anne Heche and Catherine Keener as two women in NYC who are preparing for one of their weddings. The soundtrack featured a few songs from albums that I owned. The film came out in 1996 and it set me to thinking about that year - which was a big one for me. So I have put a CD on from that year (Joe Henry’s “Trampoline”) to set the mood. Feel free to appropriate this...

A Decade Ago

1. Where were you living? A two bedroom rental house in Lake Worth, Florida. I split the rent with my grad school roommate, Megan. Some kids broke into the house and robbed it a few weeks into our lease.
2. What type of work were you doing? Lots of stuff. I stopped working at Liberties Book Store in Boca Raton and began working at Borders Books and Music in Boynton Beach. I also built a set for “Bye, Bye Birdie” and got my first professional acting job in “Come Blow Your Horn”.
3. What kind of vehicle did you drive? 1993 Toyota pickup truck. It had no model name, though it eventually became the Tacoma. The official color was Forest Green, but my wife insists it was gray. Some friends of mine dubbed it “Truck”.
4. What were your hobbies? I began mountain biking at some parks in Broward county. There weren’t any mountains in South Florida, but there were some pretty cool trails.
5. Which movies stick out in your mind? “Independence Day” and “The Rock”. Both were really crappy movies that stole liberally from previous blockbusters. I saw “ID4” twice in the theater – the second time because our power went out in the house and we needed to sit in some air conditioning. Unfortunately, “The Rock” helped give Michael Bay a career.
6. What music did you listen to? I listened to Beck’s “Odelay” a lot. Syd Straw had a pretty good record out that year.
7. What was your favorite television program? The “X-Files” was really hitting its stride. “The Simpsons” ruled. I think “The Daily Show” debuted that year too.
8. Were you dating anyone? I spent most of the 1st half of the year with a woman who was my first serious adult relationship. It ended badly with her knowing it was over well before I did. I was pathetic during our last time out together. It wasn’t a date, but more of a group thing that involved a Sting/Natalie Merchant concert, a lot of beer and a lot of moping by me. After a short, but agonizing depression, I rocketed into my “Bastard Period” for several months.
9. What do you remember from the news? The Olympic bomber in Atlanta. Kentucky winning the NCAA tournament. Clinton getting re-elected.
10. What was a memorable experience you had? A four day period in November which started with me fooling around with an actress from my first play and ended up with me fooling around with one of the managers at Borders. Both dalliances ended amicably and I began to believe in my dating abilities once again.

The Morning After

Preppygirl's birthday was yesterday and we celebrated in grand fashion. My mother, Eileen, took the kiddoes on around noon and kept them overnight. Having the house to ourselves, we behaved like energetic newlyweds - and cleaned the place.

Let the drinking begin!
Preppygirl clobbered the indoors whilst I humiliated our yard.

Galoot - Yuengling Black & Tan

After some heavy vacuuming, Pgirl hit the mall to find a new top for the evening. I stayed behind to tackle the computer area and take a shower.

Galoot - another B&T

We hit Southern Tier Brewing (just a few short miles from the house) for some new brews, a tour and some barroom monologues by a board member of the arts council I work for. Fun was had by all.

Pgirl and Galoot - 1 each - Hop-Sun Brew and Cherry Wheat

Next we headed for our favorite hipster restaurant, Forte, for din-din. Unfortunately, after hosting a rehearsal-dinner the night before and the current slate of diners, the kitchen had run out of food. It was 9:30, so we had to act quickly. We made a bee-line for The Pub and ate a Caesar Salad, Veggie Lasagna and Stuffed Shells.

Pgirl - 1 glass of Pinot Grigiot
Galoot - 1 glass of Merlot

Our hungers sated, we returned to Forte for drinks. Mr. Social and Ian soon joined us and we had fun catching up with some of the other patrons. Mr. Social and I began to pine for Steely Dan songs, but could only come up with fragments of tunes. After getting stuck on a Donald Fagen solo tune, I ran upstairs to my work office and printed the lyrics to "New Frontier". We tried to orchestrate a sing-along in the bar, but no one bit.

Pgirl and Galoot - 1 bottle of Pinot Evil
Pgirl - a glass of a wine she can't remember
Galoot - a very dry martini with 3 large queen olives

Around midnight, our crew of four (and some stragglers from Forte) trekked a few blocks to close out the Wine Cellar. Things just got sillier here. The drinks flowed and so did the electronic darts. Team Cricket was the game and we were loud and obnoxious. I put $5 into the CD jukebox and programmed all 18 songs from The Clash's "London Calling". Pgirl picked 7 more tunes for her birthday. It was 1:30 in the morning before our music started playing and the darts raged on. The bar let us hang out until 2:15 before showing us the door.

Pgirl - glass of white wine (from a box) and an imported beer in a bottle
Galoot - 1 gin & tonic and a Phin & Matt Brew from Southern Tier

Finally, our gang of four rolled over to Aldo's for a late night/early morning of breakfast and prank calls. Brother Tim will has a lot of voice mails to listen to. By night's end, we were discussing "The Young Ones" and laughing our asses off.

It was a good time.

13 Items Regarding This Link

Watch this before reading ahead:

Meet Bob Chautauqua

1. This is a video my improv troupe made to promote the county we live in.
2. All five of the troupe members contributed to the project:
- Jane and Mr. Social (Preppygirl’s brother) work for the company backing the project and came up with all of the locations and the scripted segments.
- Kip handled all of the taping duties and worked with Mr. Social on the edit.
- Ian played Isaac, the Amish guy who walks into some of the shots. Jane plays the woman on the park bench.
- Both Jane and Mr. Social did the additional voiceovers.
3. All of us contributed to the direction of the piece.
4. Bob is a character I made up while goofing on the idea of an area spokesperson, a few years ago.
5. I forgot the fake moustache on one of the taping days. In those shots, Bob's back is turned or his face is obscured by an object.
6. I've had to do Bob's moustache with a make-up pencil and an eyelash brush when the real thing wasn't available.
7. Two lakes were featured - Erie and Chautauqua.
8. Welch’s Grape Juice (courtesy of Mr. Lincoln) still has operations in our area.
9. Some of the cutting room floor stuff included Bob’s interaction with a dog and a goose.
10. Bob’s dialect is my heightened version of a Great Lakes dialect.
11. Major Kong (our production moniker) is an offshoot of the Guests which focuses on scripted and recorded material.
12. I work in the building above the marquee featured in the video.
13. The long-haired man Bob shakes hands with is founding 10,000 Maniac, Dennis Drew (And my tenuous connection -r- !)

It takes a bandwidth of millions...

My kids like Disney. Ten years ago, I would have said, "My kids have been tainted by Disney!" Parenthood, however, has made me a bit less jaded. While I don't embrace the commercialism that my children relish, I accept that I was the target of it 30 years ago.

Nevertheless, I still try to offer my kids alternatives to what they are watching and listening to. I bought Preppygirl II an alternative-country compilation CD called "The Bottle Let Me Down - Songs For Bumpy Wagon Rides". This one features Alejandro Escovedo, The Handsome Family and Jon Langford, among others. It is full of classic children's song covers and a few originals. Best of all, the kiddoes and we parents can enjoy the tunes as well. I have every intention of buying kid's music from Dan Zanes and They Might Be Giants. Alt-rock for kids! I think the Violent Femmes owe us an album of nursery school songs.

On the televised front, Preppygirl and I have made certain that the little ones are watching some "classics" along with their diet of Nicktoons. "Wallace and Grommit", "The Snowman" and "Pee Wee's Christmas Special" live on our DVD shelves. Once in a while, I'll sneak in a "Space Ghost: Coast to Coast". "The Electric Company" and "The Muppet Show" have also made it into the collection.

Not every choice I make on the kids' behalf works, though. I can't seem to get them to embrace rap. Preppygirl II would dance to A Tribe Called Quest as a toddler, but could care less about it now. There's hope for Galoot Jr., though. Last week, I tried to get him to do a call and response thing with me, ala Public Enemy. If I yell "Bass!", I want him to yell "How low can you go?" Sadly, he would just mimic me, yelling back, "Bass!" PGirl2 will do it, but move on to other things soon after. So, on Saturday, I propped Jr. on my lap and brought up YouTube.com. In a few moments, PE's "Bring The Noise" video was streaming. Fists raised in unity, my son and I made a connection. The boy got it. I called, he responded. We worked on it for the rest of the weekend, until it was ingrained in him like "London Bridges". And when I showed my wife a movie trailer on Quicktime last night, Jr. walked up to the computer monitor, turned to me and said, "I want bass." I nearly cried.

Father's Day

Well, it has been a great one so far! Preppygirl II woke me up with a card that had pictures she had drawn. One was of herself as a baby, the other one was of Galoot Jr. on fire. Not sure how I feel about that one.

There was also a hand-written I.O.U. from Preppygirl about my forthcoming gift – Roadhouse Special Edition DVD! I can’t wait. As I ate a Father’s Day breakfast at Aldo’s diner with the family and father-in-law, the Silver Fox, I reminisced about the year that “Roadhouse” came out, 1989…

What a year. I finished my Junior year of high school and prepared for Senior year by beginning the growth of my first and last mullet. That summer also featured my best summer job ever – usher and snack seller at Loew’s Cinemas in Florence, Kentucky.

It was quite a season for film. At our theater alone, we screened “The Abyss”, “Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade”, “Lethal Weapon 2” and “When Harry Met Sally”. The highlight for me was selling concessions to Ozzy Osbourne and his entourage on a sleepy Sunday evening in August. What a thrill! He had come out to see Weird Al’s “UHF”. None of the mostly adult patrons recognized him. However, after a break-time phone call to friend Kenny, a dozen or so teens were outside to greet the legend as he left early.

Showcase Cinemas in Erlanger also had some winners too, including “Batman” and “Weekend At Bernie’s” (itself a DVD gift to the Silver Fox from Preppygirl). Sadly, Showcase also screened “Star Trek V” and “Ghostbusters 2”.

Anyway, I must be going to do some housework. I kind of relaxed yesterday, so I need to make up for lost time. So, if you’re thinking of popping in a movie on this humid summer day, look no further than 1989 for your entertainment. (“Beaches” and “Uncle Buck” are also perfectly fine movies from that year.)

13 Things About My New Office

1. Overlooks 3rd Street and the marquee for the Civic Center which my new employer is affililiated with.
2. Computer is an iMac that is probably 6 years old. It has crashed 3 times already today.
3. Within 3 blocks of 2 bars and my bank.
4. Parking garage is directly across the street (looking forward to refuge from the winter.
5. Central air conditioning!
6. Walls now contain several posters from my college days and a framed Greek festival poster from Finneytown, OH (Panegyri! Opa!).
7. Very cool restaurant exists downstairs.
8. Floor space is occupied by my predecessor's paper work. I'm trying to sift through it all. Preppygirl helped out after lunch today.
9. At least I can stream some radio through this computer.
10. Lots of stairs to climb throughout the day.
11. An elevator, too, for those blah days.
12. I can see plants growing out of a chimney on the Commons Mall building.
13. It has potential.

The Thursday 13 - On Friday!

1. Today was the last day of classes at my school. The principal was trying to convince me to buy a house down the street from here. Sadly, I must be going…
2. I might watch some of the MTV Movie Awards. Might.
3. One of my improv students was listening to some streaming audio on a school computer. I told him to check out WOXY.com. The revolution has begun.
4. My nose hairs need clipping.
5. I was given a going-away gift of a blanket with the school logo on it. Then, my name was pulled for a door prize. The only remotely appealing item was a St. Benedict crucifix on a chain. I broke the last cross and chain I had, so I figured, “What the heck?”. When I got back to my table, I realized the chain would be more like a choker for me. I don’t have a thatch of chest hair for it to sit upon, nor do I resemble Scott Baio. I’ll give it to one of the kids.
6. Aren’t there bigger issues than gay marriage to be tackling right now? And which people “have spoken”?
7. I need to take my old office posters to my new office.
8. Every office space has one of those “talky guys” who stop by when you’re working to chat about nothing in particular. Ours just made an appearance. He was interested in purchasing a keyboard stand to use as a golf bag holder. Gotta love it.
9. My nose hairs still need clipping.
10. These scissors should help.
11. Much better!
12. I can leave soon.
13. I’m bringing my dog in to work tomorrow.

Guilty Pleasures of Mine

1. For Better or For Worse – The Comic Strip
This one is sentimental as they come. I’ve grown up with this strip and love how the characters have aged in real time. FBFW doesn’t tackle social issues as much as it plays flag football with them.

2. Steely Dan
Donald Fagen and Walter Becker have been churning out light rock hits since I was in diapers. I still don’t get all the references in their lyrics – but I rarely turn the dial when one of their songs is on the radio.

3. Road House
Look a couple of blogs below.

4. The Cosby Show
Man I wish I had been a Huxtable.

5. Peanut Butter On A Spoon
Preppygirl is sure to chime in on this one. When I crave a late-night snack but don’t want to prepare much, this hits the spot. Be sure to clean the spoon afterwards to destroy the evidence.

Thursday 13 – June 1 Edition

Things on my mind right now:

1. Since I am leaving this job soon, I don’t have to handle parents who call the office when the cast lists for the plays and musicals go up. Part of me is glad I don’t have to explain to justify casting decisions to people. The other part wants to console and encourage both parent and student to try again at the next audition.

2. Soon I won’t be driving a 90 mile round trip every week day. Upside: Less money spent on fuel. Downside: Now I’ll be buying more expensive gas in New York state. I’m used to buying cheaper fuel where I work in Pennsylvania. What the hell, New York? Am I paying more money for gas because I live in the same state as New York City? Let it secede and form its own state!

3. The Buffalo Sabres are in the finals of the Eastern NHL playoffs. That is kind of cool.

4. Pardon The Interruption is my favorite sports show on television.

5. Still have to raise several thousand dollars to take a musical to Scotland in August. If you know of any potential donors, drop me a line.

6. Thursday used to be the night I’d watch Cosby, Family Ties, Cheers and Night Court with my family. I miss those Thursdays.

7. Vito got whacked on “The Sopranos” a couple of weeks ago. The actor who played him was on Stern last week where he was loose and funny. Then he was on Fresh Air yesterday where he was abrasive and unappealing. Maybe he had a bad day.

8. I read some Baxter Black cowboy poetry to my son last night. He fell asleep within minutes.

9. I tried to find a Captain Underpants book to read to my daughter, but I failed.

10. Preppygirl’s circle of blogger friends are a pretty fun group to hear from. They all seem to have a lot in common. If they are anything like Preppygirl, their significant others are lucky.

11. I’ll have to mow the lawn very soon.

12. Lunch is less than an hour away.

13. “Friday The 13th” is airing on IFC soon. Check it out in the widescreen!